Letters to Yuzuru

"I always do"

Dear Yuzuru,

November 12, 2013

You leave for France tomorrow for the Tropheé Bompard. It's been a couple of weeks since your last competition which was Skate Canada. Ever since we got back, our friendship seems like it's gotten stronger. I've been going to most of your practices and you keep working on your salchow. I know you can land it and beat Patrick this time. Anyway, I finally convinced my mom to not go to school anymore. I mean, what's the point right? I'm going to die soon anyway. Can you believe it's almost been 10 years since we met each other at the Sendai skating rink? We've pretty much known each other for the majority of our lives. Oh, and your birthday is next month to and I can't believe you're turning 19! God, where has the time gone? It's crazy how time flies by when you're having fun. But, as another month passes by, I get closer to my death. I have now approximately 5 more months to live. I try not to think about it, but it's hard when I constantly get headaches and I feel weak. Sometimes I think I won't be able to live to watch you skate at the Olympics. You're also not sure if you're going to skate at Worlds next year. But you have to. I mean, our promise..... Anyway, I'll make sure I'll live to watch you at the Olympics and hopefully, at worlds. I'll keep on fighting because I'll do anything for you. Love you xoxo.

You get to the rink and park. You go inside and see the cameras surrounding the rink. You knew it was an open practice for the media and Yuzuru was already on the ice. You sit on a bench where you would be able to see him. You watch him skate and he sets up for his salchow and jumps and falls. He sits on the ice for a while with his head down, but decides to get up. He does it again and falls again. He keeps trying, but he can't seem to land it. He either pops out of it or falls. You can see the frustration on his face and see him cursing. You knew that he must be trying really hard to look good for the cameras, but he's actually doing the exact opposite. Brian calls him over and tells him to take a break. He reluctantly agrees and Brian tells the cameramen. Yuzuru skates off the ice and walks over to you where his stuff is. He sits next to you and puts his head between his hands and breathes loudily. You two sit and silence until you finally decide to say something.

"Hey, don't worry. You'll get it down. You did it at the Finlandia, I'm sure you can do it again" You say while patting his back

He sits up and says, "I haven't been landing it recently. I don't know why"

"Maybe, you're thinking too hard. Just relax and let your body take over. Don't pay attention the cameras" You say while trying to sound encouraging.

"I'll try" He says and then, he accidentally his over his water bottle causing it to fall on the ground.

"I'll get it" You say while reaching down to grab it. However, Yuzuru was doing the same thing and he bend down and tried grabbing it as well. That's when your hands touched for the first time in a long time. His fingers was on yours and you gasped softly because you could've sworn you felt a spark. You both looked in each other eyes which your faces just inches away from each other. Then, you both were interrupted by Brian.

"Yuzuru!"

He looks up and his hands is still on yours. You quickly take your hand back and he does the same. You know your face is probably red and your cheeks are blushing. He stands up and slowly starts walking away saying,

"Um.. Thanks for the advice... I.. Umm... Wait for me after-" He suddenly trips which causes you to put your hand over your mouth and you giggle causing him to become embarrassed.

"Um.. See you after practice" He quickly says while smiling and goes back on the ice.

"Why does he seem so nervous?" You think to yourself.

You watch and he sets up for the salchow. He jumps and lands it perfectly. You say "Yes!" a little too loud and everyone stares at you. Yuzuru looks straight to you and smiles and winks.

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"I told you that you could do it" You say walking out of the rink

"Yeah. I actually tried what you said and it worked. I have to remember that for the competition" He says

"Then, make sure you think of me" You say jokingly

"I always do" He says softly, but loud enough for you to hear

"What?" You ask

"Huh? Oh, nothing" He quickly says as you two get to your car.

You reach to open the door and for the second time today, he does the same and your hands touch. Instead of keeping it there like before, you quickly take your hand back.

"Sorry" You mumble while looking at the ground.

He laughs and asks, "Why do we keep doing that?"

"I have no idea. It's weird, isn't it?" You ask him

"What do you mean? Like touching each other's hands?"

"Yeah. It's awkward, don't you think?" You say while opening your door and throwing your stuff in the passengers seat

"Actually, I like it." He says and you freeze. You turn around to see him fiddling with his hands and looking down.

"Oh..." That's all you can say because you're speechless.

"You don't like when our hands touch? I mean.... I guess it's a little weird .. but..." He trails his sentence

You look at him and tears start to form. You knew you had to tell him how you feel about him. How he always makes you smile, how he always gives you butterflies and how he can always make your heart race whenever he's around.

"Yuzu... I really-" You were cut off by your phone ringing. You see that it's your mom and you answer. She wonders where you are and she tells you to come home. You see Yuzuru still staring at you.

"You were saying?" He asks

Your breathing starts picking up and your heart starts beating faster. You were going to tell him. You had to. But. You can't. Instead, you start crying. They were tears of fear and hatred. You hated how you couldn't say how you felt. You hated how you were lying. You hated that you were keeping secrets. But, you were afraid of the future as well.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks with a look of concern

"Um.. nothing. It's nothing. Don't worry about me" You say while wiping your tears away.

Before you knew it, you were in his arms.

"I know you're lying. Please tell me what's wrong. I can help you" He says

"I can't.. I'll tell you later.. It's complicated" You say

"Why can't you tell me now? We're bestfriends. You can tell me anything"

"I know. Just... not now. I promise. I have to go. I'll see you later" You get into the car and drive off.

When you get home, you go up to your room and you get a text from Yuzuru.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure things will get better. You can tell me whenever you want. Be happy (:"

You don't reply, but instead of being happy and smiling, you cry yourself to sleep.

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taaa-daaaaa! another chapter before the normal saturday update! thank you all for over 650+ reads! you guys are awesome! I hope you like this chapter and I tried my best to have some cute moments with you and Yuzuru. Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say, but tell me what you guys think of this chapter and the storyline so far. I know it's a little different than other stories, but I tried to think of a way to make the story unique and this is what I came up with haha. Okay, bye everyone! 

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