Unspoken

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

The next few weeks are miserable. I haven’t seen or talked to Declan once and I don’t know how much longer I can take. I have picked up my phone countless times, ready to send him a message asking to forgive me and come back. I never do it, though, because I know this isn’t fair to him. He hasn’t tried to contact me either and I don’t blame him. He probably hates me. Just thinking this causes tears to form in my eyes.

I guess I just have to hope that with time it will get easier because right now I feel like a part of me is dead. I know that this sounds kind of extreme, but these last few months Declan has become my life. I spent every single day with him and we have been through a lot together. He helped to put back the pieces of my life that had been missing since Caleb’s death. Now that he is gone, everything is falling back apart.

It isn’t even just Declan that I miss, but his parents, too. They have become like a second family to me and I can’t believe that I lost them. Now it is just my mom and me. I’m glad that she has been acting a lot nicer because I probably would have gone insane if she still acted the way that she did before.

After a few weeks of doing nothing but mope around, I would do anything to get out of the house. That is why when Lucy texts me asking if I want to hang out with her and Iris, I immediately agree. She tells me she will pick me up at eight and I go get ready since that is only an hour away.

I’m alerted to Lucy’s arrival by Thorn’s loud barks, which echo throughout the house. I did put posters up looking for Thorn’s owner, but nobody has come forward yet. Honestly, I’m pretty grateful because Thorn provides a great distraction from thinking about Declan. I give his soft fur a pat before stepping outside.

“Hey girl!” Iris shouts, sticking her head out of the passenger side window.

I give her a small grin and then hop into the back of Lucy’s car.

“So, is a movie okay with you? Not much else is going on tonight,” Lucy asks and I nod my agreement.

We end up watching some cheesy romance flick that only serves to make me think about my relationship with Declan and how we will never get a happy ending like the couple in the movie. I try to remain upbeat, though, because I don’t want to ruin Iris and Lucy’s night. I must not be doing a very good job because they both keep shooting me concerned looks every few minutes.

We decide to stop at a cute little ice cream place on the way home, even though it is completely freezing outside.

“So, what’s been going on with you and Declan?” Iris asks once we are seated at a table with our ice cream.

I flinch and lower my eyes to the ground, hoping she didn’t notice the pain hidden in them.

“I knew something was up!” she proclaims loudly and Lucy shushes her.

“Are you okay?” Lucy asks me and I give a small nod, even though I’m not sure if it’s true.

“Oh, just talk to him, would you! I don’t know what happened between you two, but you need to get over it now! Both of you have been moping around all miserable without the other. This is ridiculous, you are perfect together!” Iris exclaims.

“Yea. Declan has been a mess lately and it looks like you have been, too. You guys love each other, so this is just stupid!” Lucy scolds me.

“Promise you will talk to him?” Iris stares at me expectantly and I give her a noncommittal shrug.

“You are both so stubborn!” she rolls her eyes at me.

I know they are only trying to help, but I can’t help get misty eyed thinking about Declan. I wanted to go out as a distraction, not to be hounded by them to make up with him.

“Don’t cry! I’m sorry, I was just being nosy,” Iris immediately backs off.

“Yeah, we promise not to mention it again,” Lucy says sincerely and then pantomimes zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

I smile gratefully at them and they move onto lighter topics. They spend the rest of the night doing their best to make me laugh and they actually do a very good job. By the time they are ready to drop me off at my house, my stomach aches from laughing so hard. I forgot how nice it was to have friends. I realize how stupid I was to push them away before, but at least I have the chance to reconnect with them now.

“Arianna,” Lucy calls to me after I get out of the car. “If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always call one of us.”

I nod because I do know that. I wave goodbye to them both before heading inside. Thorn greets me at the door, tail wagging madly. I scoop him up into my arms and proceed to check the downstairs rooms for my mom.

I figured that Richard would be here since he seems to spend most of his free time with my mom, but I didn’t notice his car in the driveway. I finally find my mom in the living room, thankfully she is alone. She pats the spot next to her on the couch and I sit down. When Thorn notices her, his fur stands up and he lets out a deep growl. Seconds later he hops off of my lap and runs from the room.

“What is that dogs problem?” my mom sniffs and I try to hide a smile. The dog and her haven’t exactly hit it off.

My mom and I relax for a little while watching an old episode of Law & Order. I decide that now is a good a time as any to try to get some answers to the many questions swirling around in my head. I grab the pad of paper, that remains on the end table along with a pen, and write a question that has been bothering me for some time.

My question is kind of vague and I doubt that I am going to get the answer I’m looking for, but I guess it can’t hurt to try. I hand the paper to my mom, whose eyes skim over the words quickly.

My question to her was whether she knew of anyone that Caleb and I had been playing with the day that he was killed. The reason I am asking this is because I remember Matthew mentioning that there was another girl with us on that day. I just find it really weird that someone else was there, but they never told the cops or anything. There’s probably some stupid answer, but this is really the only thing I have left to look into. Whoever it is might be able to identify Richard as the shooter. At least that is what I am hoping.

“You really need to stop bringing up that day. It’s better for everyone if we just move on,” she replies, while eyeing me suspiciously.

I don’t understand how she can not want to find out what really happened that day. I mean, her son was killed and they never arrested anyone for it. How can you just let that go?

I continue to stare at her, waiting for an answer that she has yet to give. She sighs and hands the pad of paper back to me.

“Not that I recall. Why?” she narrows her eyes, as if she thinks I’m up to something that she wouldn’t approve of.

I just shrug, not feeling the need to write down an answer. She continues to shoot me suspicious glances throughout the remainder of the show and I do my best to ignore her.

I really don’t know what else to do to figure things out. How am I supposed to find some girl that I know nothing about? How am I supposed to get Richard out of my life without some evidence of what he did? I need to start figuring things out, but I’m stuck once again. I really wish I had Declan to help me figure things out.