Pause, Replay

Five

[Hi guys! This is a pretty important chapter so read carefully :3]

Forgive me, Diary, for I have sinned.

I haven't written anything in four days. Four whole days. That's 345600 seconds and a bucketload of homework!

I can't believe I haven't written anything in you for that long. I guess if I really wanted to, I could have done a meaningless entry about the food I ate or how school sucked, but for some reason I can't explain, I don't want you to be filled with futilities.

I want you to have meaning.

Anyway, there was a substitute in P.E today, so we played dodgeball. Kara and her friends all picked me as their target. Most P.E. classes, they just sit around and gossip about boys and who wore what at whose party but today they were on fire, strategizing and yelling to each other across the gym. They didn't even try to hide the fact that I was the one they were after. And nobody tried to hide or protect me. My so-called classmates pretty much opened a path leading straight to me that Kara and her crew were more than happy to follow. As a result of this, I now have two nasty bruises on the back of my left leg and on my forearm. I guess this was payback for me ignoring her lunch request, but I don't care. I'd make the same choice again if i had the chance.

Seeing the ecchymosis forming on my skin, the substitute panicked and sent me to the nurse's office. Nurse Rogers was busy with another student when I arrived so I had to wait outside. Here's what you should know about the walls at my school: they're thin. Like really, really thin. So I heard everything that was being said inside. Here's how it went:

"How long has this been going on?"

Student, sounding panicked, "Three weeks, maybe more. I don't know."

There was a long pause before the nurse asked, "Okay. Is there a chance of you being pregnant?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you had-"

"What? No!" But the way she said the words-fast and urgent like they were a burden-suggested otherwise.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" The girl yelled, her voice strangled by a sob. "I'm not a slut."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," said Rogers causing the girl to bawl even louder.

"I'm not pregnant!"

"Okay, sweetie, you don't have to tell me anything you wish to keep to yourself. However, I do suggest you buy a pregnancy test and talk to your parents about it afterwards. Even if you find out you're not pregnant."

The girl gave out a strangled scream and opened the door. Instinctically, I flatened myself agaisnt the wall, but my attempt to hide myself proved futile as she rushed past me, her blonde mane flying behind her like a trail. She was in such a hurry that she didn't even see me. Her frail body was shaking with every sob that escaped her dry lips and her bangs shielded her eyes in long wisps. I was surprised she could even see where she was going.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw nurse Rogers step outside her office and greet me with a smile. It was a fake one, too rehearsed. I could easily tell by the way it didn't quite reach her eyes. "How can I help you, Jamilah?"

I didn't bother correcting her, because the pain in my leg and forearm was slowly fading away and so was she. All I could focuse on was the girl, whose footsteps were becoming more and more erratic. Her feet laced through each other and she stumbled forward slightly. She could have probably regained her balance by leaning agaisnt the wall, but she didn't. She let herself fall to the ground, pulled her feet under her and buried her tear-streaked face into her jeans-clad knees. Then she let out a small, heartbreaking wail and cried like all hope was lost.

"Jamilah?" Rogers repeated, oblivious to the tragic events unfolding before my very eyes.

"Actually, it's Jaïya," I said before turning around and heading towards the girl.

She didn't look up as I approched, just kept crying and rocking herself back and forth.

"Hey."

It took her some time to reply, almost like she was hoping I wasn't talking to her but then I nudged her lightly with the toe of my grey flat and asked if she was okay and she looked up and nodded.

"Yeah, just found out I failed a super-important exam, is all."

I have to admit, she was a pretty good liar. She looked straight at me the whole time and her voice didn't quiver. But the way she innocently widened her brown eyes was what gave her away. Nobody tried that hard if they were telling the thruth.

I slid down next to her and crossed my legs."What's your name?"

She didn't answer.

"Okay, well my name is Jaïya and I'm a senior."

"I know who you are. Your friend died a month ago."

I smiled at that and silently wondered if that's always what I'd be remembered as-the dead girl's friend.

"I'm Eleanor, by the way."

"Sophomore?"

"Junior," she said it with pride, like they're really was a big difference between the two.

"Well, Eleanor, I know that you're not crying because of a test."

She shaked her head. "You don't understand. It wasn't just some random test. It was really important and I flunked it."

"Cut the crap," I said and for a moment, I felt powerful, almost like I didn't have any emotional baggage weighing me down.

This is what Dr. Goodwill must feel like, I thought.

"What?" she put her hair behind her ear and stared at me like I was crazy.

"I heard what happened with Rogers. You need to talk to someone."

Suddenly, she was up and rushing away from me. "I don't know what you think you heard-"

"I heard everything," I gripped her arm and forced her to turn towards me. "You need to contact someone-a friend, your boyfriend, anyone. You can't go through this alone."

She twisted away from me and glared. "Why do you even care?"

Because of Sloane, I thought but all I could say was, "I don't know, I just do."

Emotionally, Jaïya

A/N

Wow! Okay, so this was a pretty long chapter-1073 words, actually-compared to all the others that are usually between 700-800 words and I was wondering if you guys preferred these longer chapters? Or the shorter ones? Comment your opinion below!

·Vote if you want to see more of Eleanor :)

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Amanda xo