Secrets Don't Last A Lifetime

Chapter 17- You're Hurting Just As Much As I Am

Amanda's POV

'You're only hurting yourself.'

But I did it to protect you.

When Jason walked out of the room with his jersey in hand, I had broken. I collapsed against the wall, and sobbed the hardest I could. Not even attempting to lower it down so that my parents or my brother wouldn't come look for me.

Deep down, I knew what I did was right. I had kept him out of harm's way by declining him. He would've ended up in more trouble. I knew it was right. It had to be.

So then why did I feel so horrible?

Before, Jason had crossed my mind a few times. Now, Jason was everywhere. During class I'd think I heard someone call me peaches, and then I would turn and look around frantically. Jason wasn't even in that class.

Jason. Jason. Jason.

Damn you.

I heard his car rev, and crawled to my window. He banged his car hood strong enough to make a dent, and then groaned in frustration. He brought his jersey up to his face and then his shoulders started to shake. He dropped the jersey on the hood and paced around, his hands tugging at his hair. Jason was crying. I've only ever seen him cry once which was during the time he told me about his mom, but that was understandable. This? I just couldn't wrap my head around.

I risked another peek and saw him take a switchblade out of his pocket. With a growing sense of alarm, I perched up further and was about to rap on the window, before I saw him stab his car tire. Making the front flat. He put the blade back in his pocket, and took the jersey in hand. Then, he went up the front steps of the house and rang the doorbell. I crept to the top of stairs and listened in. My mom had opened the door, and a sad Jason came through it.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Jones. Could I stay here the night? My front tire is flat and I don't have a spare," he said.

Unbelievable.

"Yes! Of course you can! You're welcome here anytime!" She replied and brought him in for a hug. I ran into my room before they could see me.

He made his own tire flat so he could stay here. But for what reason? For me? I've already told him that I can't be with him. Why doesn't he understand no? Back then, his relentlessness was attractive. Now, it's frustrating. How am I supposed to send the message to his brain that I can't do it?

My phone buzzed on the nightstand, and I picked it up. Hesitantly, I turned my phone on.

'My, my. The stunts this boy pulls.'

I was shocked, but I didn't feel like crying. It was a normal thing for me to be receiving messages and sometimes threats from Tyler. Even though I blocked his number more times than I can count, I wouldn't get it past him to use his friend's or get a new phone. Instead of freaking out, I switched it off and turned it upside down on the nightstand. I have already found another reason why I can't be with Jason. They're everywhere.

I have enough problems.

He doesn't have to be in them.

They're my fights, not his.

With that train of thought currently running in my brain, I heard a soft knock. I knew who it was, so I jumped in bed and pulled the sheets around me and pretended to go to sleep.