Unbroken

Chapter 75

Loki was one of the first soldiers to join Thor outside the palace. He wished everyone else would hurry up, he wanted to get to the gate and fight off the frost giants as soon as possible. but it took hours for all the other soldiers to assemble.
While he waited he kept himself busy by sitting on a bench and sharpening his daggers, though they didn't really need it, he kept them razor sharp all the time. He was getting lost in his own mind, thinking about the battle that was about to take place, thinking about the fact that Trinity was going to be part of the army that has to stop the first attack... suddenly he felt less eager to get moving. He tried to imagine what would happen if she got caught in the crossfire and got killed. He wouldn't know what to do, she was the main thing that kept him grounded. He loved her more than anything and she'd done so much to make him a better person; she made him take risks and let go of fear. And then he simply loved her, and loosing her would break him. Again.
Suddenly he felt two hands gently grab his shoulders from behind.
"Those knives are sharp enough" he heard Trinity said as she started to massage his shoulders and neck. Loki put down the knives.
"Got lost in thought" he said.
"I could tell" she said, leaning down to kiss his temple, then moving to stand in front of him. "I know the frost giants used to over power you, but you're stronger and smarter than them now, you don't need to worry-" Loki cut her off.
"I'm not worried about them hurting me" he said.
"Well then why do you look so preoccupied?" She asked him. She then sat down, straddling his lap with her arms around his neck.
"Don't worry about it. Laufey Just gets in my head" loki said. Trinity gave him a look. She knew there was more to it than that. Loki put his arms around her waist and held her close to him so they could feel each others warmth.
"I'll tell you after the battle Alright?" He said. He knew if he told her now she'd try fix How he was thinking, but he'd rather just sit here with her on his lap, holding her, not talking about his concerns or fears.
"Yeah Alright. After the battle" she said as she leaned down to gently kiss his lips. He leaned into her and pulled her closer to him so they were pressed against each other.
"Hey" they were interrupted by Thor. "Sorry to interrupt, but we're about to move out" he said. Thor left them alone and Trinity kissed loki once more before she pulled back and stood up. loki got up as well and they both went back to the group, which had grown exponentially since Loki started sharpening his daggers.
"Loki can I talk to you?" Thor asked as he waved him over. Loki nodded and left Trinity to talk to Thor.
"What's the matter?" Loki's asked. Thor pulled him aside so the other soldiers couldn't hear them.
"Are you going to be alright? We're about to head out to fight the frost giants, but I don't want you there if you won't be able to focus" Thor said.
"I'll be fine" loki said simply. He tried to walk away but Thor grabbed his arm.
"Loki, I know what 'fine' means for you. I don't want to be condescending but I also can't be foolish. If you aren't sure you can face all the people who enslaved and tortured you then please tell me. No one will think any less of you" Thor told him, he didn't want to treat look like he was fragile, he wasn't, but Thor also didn't want to risk putting Loki in a position that would compromise his ability to fight. "If you hesitate or freeze, you could very well be taken back" Thor added after a short pause. But Loki looked unfazed and no less determined.
"Thor, these are the people that tortured me every day of my life, these are the people that starved me and broke my bones for entertainment. They made me afraid to speak, they made me live without a name, they used my pain for sport and enjoyment." Loki said. Thor thought he was giving an excuse before asking if he could stay behind, but loki kept talking and ended up surprising Thor. "So believe me when I say that no one wants them dead more than I do. And I won't stop fighting until every one of them is dead" he continued, a hint of darkness in his low voice. He didn't give Thor time to question him further, he just went back to the army.
It wasn't long before they were given the order to move out. The soldiers all loaded into the air ships, and Loki gave Thor the location of the gate. It was a long trip and they knew they'd be cutting it close, but the Asgardian palace was closer to the gate than the Jotun temple was, so they were confident that they could be there in time. 
After several hours they arrived near the gate site. It had gotten very dark and they were so far from any form of civilization that the only light source was the stars. All the soldiers got out of the ships and readied their weapons. Thor had Trinity and the other healers take one of the ships a bit of a distance from the gate sight to use as a temporary medical facility. If anyone was badly wounded they wanted to be able to at least fix it temporarily before getting to a proper medical facility.
"Where exactly will they come out?" Thor asked loki as they took their positions in the front of the army.
"It fluctuates slightly. But we're in the right general place, they'll be arriving near that mountain. Loki told him, nodding to the mountain in the near distance ahead of them.
There were several moments of thick and heavy silence, the Asgardian army stood there, weapons ready, waiting for the arrival of the most dangerous enemy Asgard had ever gone up against. The minutes felt like hours, but after what felt like an eternity, there were flashes of light at the base of the mountain and Laufey's army came charging into Asgard, fully ready to fight off any foe that would present itself. No time was wasted, the two armies charged at each other, officially beginning the second war between these two realms.
Loki felt a rush of emotions, but the most prominent was anger. He was glad these people were invading, he was glad to have a reason to kill them. The armies collided and the gruesome fighting began.
=*****=
The battle went on for a long time, the air smelled of blood and death, Loki kept trying to find Thor, but they'd been separated and he wasn't able to see him. Loki took out countless frost giants, but oddly, he didn't recognize even one of them. He'd received his own share of injuries, he had a gash on his forehead that let blood drip into his eyes but he tried to ignore it, he'd been on the receiving end of some serious blunt attacks that led to major bruising, but he was holding together pretty well.
But Suddenly, things changed. Loki saw a frost giant he recognized. One of Laufey's closest advisers, who also happened to be one of the people who tormented Loki the most, second only to Laufey himself. Loki was filled with boiling rage, he kept fighting and stayed focused on the bigger picture, but seeing this frost giant gave Loki a new wave of motivation to stay alive. Loki was both relived and terrified when the frost giant caught sight of him. Loki had just stabbed another jotun in the neck and killed him when Laufey's adviser saw him.
"You think that'll go unpunished?!" The adviser shouted at Loki, storming toward him. Loki didn't miss a beat. He grabbed the weapon off a dead jotun and started in a fight with the adviser.
"You're going to return to Jotunhiem in pieces" the frost giant sneered as he attacked loki.
"I wouldn't count on that" Loki said as he fought back harder than he'd ever fought before. "I took down laufey easily enough" he added.
"Laufey is a leader not a soldier, I am a soldier and my job is to bring you back to laufey, dead or alive. I've never failed Laufey and I won't start now" the adviser said, and they both kept fighting.
Loki and the other frost giant fought hard against each other, Loki took hit after hit without falling or giving up, he was bleeding and cut in so many places that he didn't even know where he was injured anymore, but he kept fighting anyway, he fought through the pain and made himself think that he was in the arena again. If he stopped he'd die, and he wasn't willing to die like this. The frost giant was wearing out too, Loki had been able to deliver some pain and some pretty serious injuries; at this point the frost giant was needing to hold his side while he fought to stop a river of blood from pouring out of a wound Loki had inflicted. Bur Loki was getting tired, he knew that if he didn't win soon he'd loose, and there was still the battle around him to consider, he can't spend all his strength on one enemy.
"Give up boy. Surrender and I might spare your miserable life" the frost giant said, seeing how worn down and beat up Loki was.
"I will never go back to Jotunhiem .." loki said breathlessly "neither dead, nor alive" he added. The frost giant looked angry and was about to strike Loki down, Loki knew there was nothing he could do, he was outmatched and the other soldiers were too busy with their own battles to help him, so he decided to make an army of his own.
Loki had a small knife in his belt, it wouldn't be deadly but it would be distracting. As soon as the frost giant made a move to attack, Loki whipped out his small knife and threw it at his face. It cut across the frost giants face and sliced across an eye. The frost giant took his eyes off Loki for half a second, but when he looked back he was faced with ten or twelve different images of Loki, and he had no idea which one was real.
"So you resort to magic?! You'll use your tricks to win a fight rather than fighting like a soldier!" The frost giant yelled in rage as he tried to attack the images of Loki. Loki knew it would only distract him for a moment so he got himself ready.
"Since when were you against unfair odds?!" The real Loki shouted as he dodged a strike from the frost giant and stabbed him through the chest, right in his heart. Loki saw a look of shock and rage flash across the frost giants face before his face went blank and he fell backwards, dead.
Loki bent down to retrieve his weapons, but as soon  as he stood up again the world started spinning, his ears started ringing, and black spots appeared in his vision. He looked down and realized that he'd been shot with an arrow through his thigh and was bleeding profusely. He didn't know he was hurt there, but now it was too late. His legs went limp and he fell to his knees, then flat on his chest. He remembered seeing Thor running toward him as his vision went black and unconsciousness consumed him