Okay, so the FINAL CHAPTER!!!! OH MY GOD!!! I HOPE YOU LOVED IT !!!!
The playlist...you know it. External link
The song: No Sound But The Wind by The Editors
At Your Hands I Die
The car came to a stop in front of a restaurant. "I'm hungry," he complained. "Let's go."
I almost argued, but decided against it. I didn't want to start something and push him over the edge. Plus, it would hurt me too much to argue. It would re-puncture the slowly healing wounds.
His hand was on his wrist as he darted to my door. I sighed. I knew he needed to eat, but I didn't really want to go into a crowded diner. He picked me up and set me on my feet. I wanted to protest that I wasn't a doll, but again that would be arguing. After retrieving my crutches from the back seat, he helped me hobble to the door-my broken arm made the crutches harder to use. I jerked to fast at a noise behind me, and wrenched my neck. I groaned.
"You're not up to this. I can tell. Let's go back to the car and I can pick up food at a gas station," he tried to turn me around but I fought with every strength I could find in me.
"No. It's fine. You can get your steak this way."
"I just wish that you would let me heal you!"
"No. You need the strength. Plus, I'm going to be healed in less than a week anyways. Save your venom. I need to experience pain," I attempted to take a step forwards.
He took my chin in his hand and made me look at him. "You are experiencing pain! A different type of pain, but pain none-the-less! I can take away memories, and I can take away trauma, but I can't take away guilt. And I refuse to take away the memories so you are already suffering. You need to remember them. They are your friends, regardless of how it ended. You are feeling enough pain without this!" he said, referencing to my leg with a tilt of his head.
I felt a spasm of excruciating, soul ripping agony deep in my heart and it sent my mind into an oblivion of confusion and images from the fight flashed behind my eyes like a slideshow stream sped up to dramatize the intensity of it.
He understood from the look on my face and the gleam in my eyes and kissed my forehead. "Pain," the words were very quiet and serious.
"Fine, but still order your steak and grapefruit juice, just get it to go. We can go for a walk if you like. There's sun," I looked up at the sky and sighed. I wouldn't be able to be in sun for much longer. After this coming Sunday, the sun would become my enemy instead of my friend. I loved the sun so much and I was just going to be added to my list of things that I would love and lose. Most of those things already lost.
"Alright. Do you want anything?" he urged. I was losing weight too quickly and it scared him. I didn't bother to try to explain to him anymore that weight had always been an edgy thing for me. When I was a little, little girl, I had always been thin and perfectly weighted. But when I was ten I gained twenty pounds after moving across the state. And then I moved to California for a year where I gained twenty more. I went back home afterwards, and met Ari at that time. My weight became a little more average as I grew a lot, but I wasn't normal.
But when I was pulled out of school, I lost twenty pounds at thirteen. I then shot from a hundred and twenty to a hundred and five when I was fourteen. After moving in with my aunt, I became a normal one-thirty. However, while grieving over Ben, I lost ten. Before the war I was back up to one-twenty-five, but I had refused to eat anything after that, and my weight was now somewhere between one-ten and one-fifteen, an unsafe drop for only a week and a half. I would be at one-oh-five again by Sunday if I kept it up.
I wasn't hungry. I wasn't thirsty either, but I made myself drink water. Every other day I forced myself to consume five saltine crackers, but I somehow, every time, managed to throw up at least twice what I ate. I wasn't voluntarily throwing up, it just happened from grieving.
"For heaven's sake, Aerie! You need to eat! Do you realize all you have eaten in ten days is twenty crackers? And I'm not fooled that it's staying down! I'm worried about you. You're what? Twenty pounds lighter than you were when I met you? Fifteen since you decided to stay with me? I know women don't like to discuss their weight, but this is dangerous. You are too tall and have too wide of bones to be this thin! I don't want to lose you over anorexia. There are so many more nobles deaths that have been available to you and you choose to starve yourself. Please," he begged.