So I almost had an anxiety attack today because someone messaged me about my book. It was terrifying. I didnt think anyone read it and now thay someone has...it scares me. I dont want anyone to know the true me.
So before I kinda lied about most things. I wanted not to like anyone but the harder I tried, the more I liked him. when we danced at this dance...it was amazing. He was kind, he teased me. not in a mean way. I also lied because I cant even try to be perfect. I just cant. I mess up everything I touch. Im failing school. This new me? its worse than the old me was. I got a message from someone saying that I need to go re-read my first chapter and strive to be that person. So thats who im going to be. No more of this getting worse person. I will be as perfect as possible.
Its been working the past 2 days. Everything went swimmingly. I raised 2 of my grades up to an A when they were almost at a C. I was si excited and told my mom. She disregarded it and asked about the others. Cant she just me proud of me for 3 seconds???? it took everything in me not to scream. I said im improving and she just said to continue improving it. I will NEVER be good enough for her. Every time I say ill stop trying to impress her I turn around and try to again. It never works.
YOU ARE READING
Permenant Masquerade
Randomim done being so false. Im putting up a mask and it'll stay up. This will be the only place where people see the real me. If anyone I know discovers ot I will delete it. This new me is going to be strong, independent, fearless, organized, and most o...
