The F Word

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It was 8am on a Monday morning and the students of HMA School were already sitting in their respective classrooms, waiting for their teachers to come.

Taylor propped one elbow on the table and lazily rested her chin on her palm. Her seat mate, Hailey, was telling her stories about her recent vacation but she wasn't really listening. She did catch a few phrases like, 'fish', 'hug' and 'sexy'. In her mind, Taylor summed it up as, 'a sexy fish hugged Hailey on vacation'. No wonder she likes Jaden. He looks like a fish. Fish fetish.

The young Jauregui's eyes glanced at the seat two tables ahead from her, where Madison was sitting. Unlike Hailey's story, she overheard Madison's conversation with another classmate Alessia quite clearly.

She now knew about her family holiday trip to Jeju.

Taylor also noticed Madison's new hairstyle. From the beautiful long locks to a cute shorter hair. Taylor couldn't help but to admire her adorable new look.

"Aren't you excited for the prom! It's in two weeks!" Hailey suddenly said, excitedly tugging Taylor's arm.

Taylor turned to look at Hailey, disinterested. "Oh?"

Hailey hits her arm, hard.

"Ouchh! Why?"

"What kind of reaction is that? Aren't you excited about prom?! Come on, it's gonna be fun choosing the dress and getting ready for the event!" Hailey said, still hyper.

"Yayyy..." Taylor replied sarcastically.

"You're no fun Tay..." Hailey said, crossing her arms defensively.

She looked at her friend and sighed, "Who cares? I'm not going to the prom."

"Whatt?! Why on earth do you want to miss prom?! It's the highlight of our high school year! And if you don't come, then I can easily get crowned as prom queen! I need some serious competition!" Hailey said jokingly.

"I don't have... a date. You're gonna go with Jaden, but I'm all alone."

"Pshh. That is not an excuse. I'm hearing rumors about all these guys wanting you as their date."

Taylor rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious! The football captain, the cute guy that plays piano, the captain of the baseball team and even the cheerleader captain have the hots for you!"

"Cheerleader captain, Charli?" Taylor asked, shocked.

Hailey nodded.

"Ever since the news about you no longer dating Maddie spread, seems like your fans have increased. Especially girls..."

Taylor bit her lip as Madison's name was mentioned.

"Is Maddie going?" Taylor asked casually. She tried to make it as if she didn't care.

Hailey paused. Though Taylor tried to hide it, it was written on her face that she still cares about Madison.

"I think so. Recently there's... someone who's interested in her," Hailey said, hesitantly.

Taylor looked at her, worried, "Wh-Who?"

Hailey paused and noticed that their homeroom teacher just walked in.

"Teacher's here," she gave a short reply to end their conversation.


**


Taylor didn't forget the drama practice that evening. She went there early to rehearse her lines as the glamorous role of the evil queen. She even wore the evil looking pointy hat to get into her character. The teacher praised her for being committed in which Taylor replied with a humble smile.

Ten minutes later, the cast gathered in the auditorium, including the princess, Madison. Hailey, who was excitedly reminded her about the practice, was absent since she had to take Jaden to the hair salon suddenly. Taylor sat by the side of the stage and tried to not get noticed by her. But she watched her reciting every line and smiled when she made mistakes. She was perfect.

"Okay, now, this is the scene between the princess and the old woman! Taylor, you're up!" The teacher called.

Taylor gulped. She didn't expect her turn to be up so soon. Slowly, she emerged from the dark and stepped into the middle of the stage. Madison looked uneasy when she saw her, the expression was clearly written on her face.

Taylor bit her lip.


Do you dislike me that much?


"Okay, let's begin! 1, 2, 3... action!" The teacher shouted like a director of some teen soap drama.

Taylor, who posed as an old woman, stepped forward with an apple in her right hand.

"Dearie! Apples for sale! Lovely, red, juicy apples. Fresh off the tree!"

Taylor came closer.

"Apples for sale my dear, sweet and ripe. I know you're in there."

Madison blanked out; she looked at Taylor but not without saying anything.

"Uh... er..."

She momentarily forgot her lines.

"Er... go-go away! I'm not allowed to..." She paused.

..to.."

The teacher sighed, "To answer the door!"

Madison bowed her head, "I'm sorry teacher, it won't happen again."

Taylor shook her head thinking, how she could recite her lines perfectly with other cast members but became like this when it was with her. It was as if she didn't want her there. It hurt.

"Okay, let's do it again. One more time! 1, 2, 3... action!" The teacher said enthusiastically.

Taylor took a deep breath and grabbed her apple again.

"Dearie! Apples for sale! Lovely, red, juicy apples. Fresh off the tree..." She repeated.

She came closer and Madison took a step back.

"Apples for sale my dear, sweet and ripe. I know you're in there," Taylor added.

Madison gulped again. "Er..."

"I am not..."

"Go... away, I..." Madison kept pausing.

She was sweating, "Go away... er..."

Taylor couldn't take it anymore.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Snow White?! Do you hate me that much?!" Taylor suddenly snapped.

Everyone was stunned. No one expected the Queen to blow up.

"You're avoiding me when... er.. I came to sell you apples. What did I ever do wrong?!"

"Taylor..." Madison mumbled, worried.

"You know what? I don't care about this anymore! I don't care about you... Snow White and I don't care about this play!" Taylor said, waving her hands around.

"Taylor, calm down! Are you okay, dear?" The teacher said as she walked to her.

"I'm sorry teacher, but you have to find a new Queen," Taylor said, taking off her evil hat.


"I quit."


**


"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Clara was laughing so hard that tears starting to came out of her eyes.

"So she wasn't going to jump? And everyone thought she was going to? Hahahaha! your friends are funny!" Clara added, even hitting the table.

She was not crazy or drunk, but she was just truly happy to have dinner with Lauren and Camila again. It was the first time since their reconciliation. She invited the couple over to have dinner that night and offered them to stay overnight.

"Yeah, our friends are... funnily dramatic," Lauren replied with a chuckle.

Camila just nodded enthusiastically. She has not really gotten into terms with Clara after the last incident. It was still awkward to be around her. She kept tugging Lauren's arm, telling her not to leave her alone with her soon-to-be mother-in-law.

Taylor, on the other hand, was in her own world. She continued cutting her steak but hasn't eaten any. The conversation with Hailey earlier still bothered her.



"Jacob asked Maddie to the prom?!"

Hailey nodded.

"And she said yes?"

"That's what I heard. I'm just telling you this so that you can move on. If she found herself a new date, then you should too. Do you want Charli's number?"


"Fuck!" Taylor suddenly shouted.

The whole table stared at her, shocked. Even the maids stopped and stared.

"Taylor!" Clara scolded.

Lauren shook her head.

Taylor gulped, "I meant FORK! This fork is... too big! I can't fit it into my mouth! Fork!"

The atmosphere turned even more awkward after she explained it.

She slowly stood up and put her napkin on the table.

"I'm full. I'm going to my room. Enjoy your meal," she said before hurriedly leaving for the second floor.

Lauren stared at her sister until she was out of her sight. She couldn't help but worry. Her sister rarely curses, especially during family dinners. She glanced to her plate and saw a lot of meat cutlets. She knew that Taylor didn't eat.

She held Camila's hand that had been tugging her arm and smiled.

"Honey, I think you and mom should discuss more about the wedding," she said sweetly.

Camila's eyes widened.

"But Laur, there's nothing left to discuss! We've discussed everything to the smallest details!"

They looked at each other.


Don't leave me Laur! Your mother is scary!

I need to go check on Taylor. Please hang on for while.

But..

Do this for me?


Camila let out a small sigh, "Okay, I think we haven't decided on the napkin color..."

Clara nodded. "Oh yes! The napkin!"

"Have fun, ladies."

Lauren smiled and lovingly patted Camila's hair before leaving the two women that she cared for at the table.

Camila and Clara looked at each other awkwardly. Camila just grinned without saying anything.

Clara suddenly turned serious, making the younger woman gulped.


"So, Camila, I need to talk to you about something..."


**


Lauren knocked on her sister's bedroom door.

"Can I come in?"

"I'm busy. Go away," Taylor replied from inside the room.

"Okay, I'm coming in," Lauren said, ignoring her sister's order.

Inside the room, she saw her sister lying on her bed with a novel in her hand. She seemed so keen on reading the book and ignored her sister, but the book was upside down.

Lauren snorted.

She walked to the bed and sat beside her younger sister. Though Taylor was ignoring her, she gently stroked her hair. Taylor didn't flinch so she continued.

"Mom said you're not going to the prom," Lauren said, starting a conversation.

"True," Taylor replied short.

"Why?"

"No dress."

"I can get you one right away. Just name me any designer you want."

"No date."

"I can... find you one, I think..."

Taylor sighed, "No mood for it."

Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong? You always like dressing up and going to the balls."

Taylor kept mum.

"If there's anything troubling you, you can tell me. You've done so much for me and Camila, I just want to help you."

Taylor scoffed, "Help? What a joke. You can't even help yourself."

Lauren suddenly felt flared up with her retort. She childishly pulled her sister's hair.

"AHHHHH! HEY STOP IT! I'M GONNA GO BALD!"

Lauren let her go and stood up from the bed.

"Yah! I'm being nice and you're saying such thing!" she said, angry.

Taylor rolled her eyes.

"Fine! Don't go to the prom then!" Lauren said before storming out of the room.

As soon as Lauren slammed the door, Taylor sat up straight on her bed and stared at the door.


"Laur..."


"Can you tell me why Maddie hates me?"


"Can you tell me what she sees in Jacob?"


"Can you tell me how to undo these feelings?"




"You can't help me."  

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