Straight-Faced

afraid

"Remind me again why I'm chaperoning you guys when one of you is a perfectly okay driver?" I said to the two grinning kids who were standing outside of my car.

"Because your boyfriend stayed the night at your house, so you had to drive him to school this morning, which means that he didn't take his own car," Sage informed me helpfully.

I sighed. "I didn't want an actual answer, I just wanted to complain."

Luke stuck his head through an open car window. "You do that very well, babe. Among other things."

I frowned. "Hey, clean out your mouth. There's a child in our presence."

"I'm not that little," Sage protested. "Just a few months younger than your boyfriend."

"You're the youngest of our squad, therefore, you're a child. Now get in the back." I pointed to Luke. "You, passenger seat."

"How come he gets to sit in the front?" Sage complained as she climbed into the backseat my car.

Luke smirked at her. "Boyfriend privileges."

"One among others," Sage muttered as she buckled her seat belt.

I acted shocked. "Sage McCullough, you clean out your mouth too! The things I do with my boyfriend are none of your business."

"We've never even done anything dirty," Luke said. "We just hold hands a lot. Cameron even asks-"

"We're not talking about this right now," I interrupted.

Luke shrugged. "Don't be embarrassed. Consent is important."

"Did you miss the part where I said that we're not talking about this right now?"

Luke patted my shoulder. "Start driving, Cameron."

I started my car and adjusted the rearview mirror so that I could see Sage.

"When you get into a relationship, don't take after us," I said to her.

"You guys seem so happy," she said softly.

I smiled a little. "I am happy."

Luke nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

"We got here on a pretty rough road, though," I said. "You might wanna take a different one with Anna Lee."

Sage blushed. "I think there's too much fear for us to start our journey."

I nodded. "Interesting. Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Plug your ears so you can pretend to not hear me say nice things about you."

"Will do." He put earbuds in, rolled up the car window, rested his head against it, and shut his eyes.

"You've already started your journey, whether you know it or not," I told Sage. "Now you have a bunch of decisions to make. Are you going to stop along the way? How often? How close together will you be walking? Are you going to even be taking the same path? What are you taking with you, and what will you have to leave behind? Sorry about that extended metaphor. Okay, but actual question. What are you afraid of?"

"I used to be scared that Anna Lee didn't like me back," Sage said, "but I'm not afraid of that anymore. I think she does."

"She does," I confirmed. "What else?"

"Anna's afraid of labels, I think? So I'm afraid to mention it and screw everything up. I can't talk to her about it until I know that she's ready. I don't want to scare her off."

"That's understandable," I said. "You guys went on your first date only a little over a week ago. Take your time if you need it. Luke and I rushed into our relationship, but it's finally all working out. Things may be looking up for us, but it took a lot to get here." I glanced at Luke. His eyes were still shut, and there was a small smile on his lips. "I think it was worth it, though."

"Do you stop being afraid after you're happy?" Sage asked.

I shook my head. "You're happy, aren't you? So no. But my fears have sort of changed. I'm still afraid of messing up and losing him, but after what we've been through together, just slightly less so."

I made sure that Luke wasn't looking at me before mouthing, 'and the L word'.

Sage's eyes widened. 'Are you sure?'

"I think so," I said out loud.

Sage bit her lip. "Wow."

I reached over and gently shook Luke's shoulder. "Wake up, we're done gossiping about you now."

Luke opened his eyes and frowned. "I thought you were saying nice things?"

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. So am I taking you guys home, or...?"

"We should go watch Anna Lee practice," Luke suggested. Sage nodded in agreement.

Anna Lee had been asked to walk at a fashion show, so she had been busy practicing for that throughout the past few days. None of us had actually gone to support her yet.

"Sure," I said. "She'll probably be almost done by the time we get there, though. I guess a few minutes of moral support is better than none."

"I just wanna watch her fall on her face," Luke said.

"I don't think she will," I countered. "She's been practicing for days now, and maybe she found her inner gracefulness."

"Ten bucks says that we'll see her fall as soon as we walk in there."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

We arrived at the place a few minutes later, and we went inside the building. I led Luke and Sage through the lobby and into the auditorium.

The first thing I saw was the illuminated runway, the first motion I caught was Anna Lee attempting to pivot on a heel, and the first sound I heard was a loud thud. I debated whether to be more concerned about my friend or about the ten dollars that I'd be losing from my wallet. It wasn't a very long debate.

"Go Anna Lee!" Luke cheered as he clapped like Anna Lee had just given a Grammy-worthy performance. I couldn't stop laughing at her face, which was a mixture of shock, annoyance, and pain.

"That was great," Luke gasped as he struggled to breathe.

"End my suffering," Anna Lee groaned, and I almost felt guilty for not checking if she was okay first. "Why are you guys here?"

"Well, I'm here to be supportive," Sage told her. "These two idiots came to bet on whether or not you would fall."

Anna Lee got up off of the ground easily. See, I knew she was secretly graceful. Guess the keyword. "Did they? Someone actually thought I wouldn't?"

Luke and I eventually calmed when we noticed both girls glaring at us.

"Ten bucks, babe," Luke said to me, holding his hand out.

I put an arm around his shoulders, leaned close to his ear, and whispered, "I'll make sure you get more than ten bucks' worth later."

Luke turned bright red, and I started laughing again. It was his fault for taking it that way.

Anna Lee finished up her rehearsal, got changed, and met us by the exit. Then, the three kids teamed up and convinced me to take them all out for ice cream. I pretended to be annoyed, but I really didn't mind spending more time with all of them.

For the rest of the day, there were only two things on my mind.

The first thing was fear. All of us had it. Anna Lee was afraid of labeling a romantic relationship, and Sage was afraid of making Anna Lee face that. Luke was probably afraid of something, even though he seemed like he was in control of his own life, along with all of ours. I was definitely afraid of telling my boyfriend the three words; four, if he ended up saying it first.

The second thing on my mind was Luke, but by now, that was pretty much always a given.