Misguided Ghosts {A Bucky Barnes fanfic}

Chapter Seven

The sunlight flooded into the room from the barley open curtains. My eyelids fluttered open and I sighed. I rolled over, surprised to feel emptiness beside me. I looked around the room, but Steve wasn't there. I climbed out of the bed slowly, and rearranged his sheets neatly. I walked out of the bedroom and followed the scent of bacon into the kitchen. Steve was standing at the stove, his back turned to me. I snuck up behind him and poked his sides, causing him to jump.
"You punk," he said with a smile.
"Good morning to you too," I said, sitting down on a barstool at the island.
"Bacon and eggs?" He asked me and I nodded. I retrieved two plates from the cupboard as well as two glasses. I set them on the table, then walked over to the fridge. I got out the milk and orange juice, sitting down afterwards. Steve came over with the pan of eggs and put half of it on my plate. He brought over a plate of bacon, and I grabbed two pieces.
"Forks Steven," I said. He came back and handed one to me. He sat across from me and I watched him eat.
"What's wrong?" He asked when he noticed I still hadn't touched my food.
"I don't know," I said with a sigh. "Not all that hungry." He put his utensil down at looked at me with concern. I gave him a reassuring smile and stood.
"Thanks Steve. I better go hop in the shower," I told him.
"Alright. When you're done getting ready, come back and we can discuss what we are going to do today," he said and I nodded. I cleaned up my plate, grabbed my phone, and left.
I opened my door and sulked towards my bathroom. I turned the water on and waited for it to warm up. I let the warm water surround me and started thinking. I always did my best thinking in the shower. I was confused about last night. We didn't do anything except sleep together, all of our layers on of course, yet I felt like I was doing something totally wrong. Was it because my heart truly belonged to Bucky? Now that I knew he was alive, it felt like I was cheating on him. And that was a feeling I did not like. Even though we never announced it to each other, we could both tell the feelings were there. But I didn't know where Bucky was. I know he didn't remember me, so it wouldn't be wrong if I started to go out with Steve. Right? I was still on the fence about it.
Ten minutes had past, and I decided this shower thinking session was going nowhere. I climbed out and wrapped my towel around me. I dried and changed into a red cut off tee that said L.A. on it, white yoga shorts, and electric green running sneakers. I gave up and put it up into a ponytail. I locked my door before closing it behind me, and knocked on Steve's
"Come in," he answered. I opened the door and smiled.
"Let's go for a run," I told him. "It will be fun. Go get changed." He gave me a confused look, but didn't question me. I sat down on the couch while waiting for him. I picked at the purple nail polish on my nails, getting board. Finally, Steve walked out wearing black basketball shorts and a tight, grey SHIELD shirt.
"Alright. Let's go," he said. I stood and followed him out of the apartment complex.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"Monument," I replied.
"Which one?" He questioned.
"The only one close to our building," I replied. He nodded and we took off towards Washington Monument.
As we ran, I saw Sam up ahead.
"Steve look," I said while pointing at him.
"Let's go," he said as he started to run faster. "On your left." I came up a second later.
"On your right," I commented, causing Sam to grunt.
"Hilarious," he mumbled. I laughed and ran ahead with Steve and Sam trailing behind. If a shower wasn't going to clear my mind, running might. With each mile I did, I seemed to only go faster. I stopped after I finished twelve. Sam and Steve were sitting on the ground with their backs leaning against a tree.
"C'mon. Let's go one more," I said while jogging in place.
"Oh okay, you have fun," Sam huffed out. I stood still and placed my hands on my hips.
"You coming Steve?" I asked.
"Nah. I think I'll just watch you," he said and I shook my head.
"Alright. Bye!" I said before running off again. I ran for five minutes, barely squeezing in another five miles.
"She's a maniac," Sam said as I walked up to the two men.
"I know," Steve said with a chuckle. "What are we doing today?" Steve and I started to walk back to our building. He grasped my hand, and I tensed.
"Uh. I have to go run some errands really fast, but after that we can do something. Why don't you think about it and let me know when I get back," I said, not making eye contact. In fact, I wasn't even looking at Steve at all.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Yup! Perfectly fine," I replied quickly. We entered the building and walked up the stairs. Well, Steve walked; I ran. I quickly opened my door and closed it before any further conversation ensued. I sighed and turned on my shower again. This time I didn't wait for the water to warm up, I just jumped in. I quickly washed my hair and body, then stepped out.
As I was drying myself off, I heard my door open and close quietly. I was on alert immediately. I didn't have time to change, so I pulled on my undergarments and put my fuzzy white robe on. I always hid a gun in my bathroom. It was under the sink towards the very back of the cupboards, hidden behind a few boxes of tampons. I figured if anyone where to look under there for anything, they wouldn't want to move the tampons, therefore eliminating the chances of them finding my gun. I made sure it was loaded before I carefully made my way through my apartment. I heard movement coming from my living room. I hid behind a corner then jumped out and shot. I missed Steve by a couple inches and ended up shooting out my window.
"Shit Steve, you scared the hell out of me! What are you doing?!" I shouted, putting the gun down.
"I came to check on you. I know something's up," he said.
"Well have you ever thought about knocking? Or calling out that you're in here instead of scaring me half to death, and making me almost kill you," I said.
"I thought you knew I'd be in here. With your mind powers and whatnot," he said with a smirk while sitting down on the couch. I flipped him off and he chuckled. I walked into my kitchen, and got out a glass of water.
"I still have to run those errands, you know," I pointed out.
"Yeah I know, but I have nothing else better to do," Steve said and I rolled my eyes.
"Alright, but when I leave, you leave. Understand?" He nodded and I walked off towards my room. I turned on my speakers, turning up the volume to "Feeling Sorry" by Paramore. I slipped off my bath robe, not even remembering that Steve could see me from down the hall. That was until after I had bent down to pick up some jeans, and turned around to throw them into the laundry basket. He was smirking at me, and I sighed. I shook my head and disappeared from his view to walk inside my closet. I threw on a blouse-like black tank top, maroon leggings, and a leopard print scarf. I walked back into view to find my shoes.
"Aw," Steve pouted.
"You should have taken a picture," I teased.
"Who said I didn't?" He asked.
"Steven, you hardly know how to operate the toaster let alone work a camera phone," I joked. He chuckled and I walked back out with my hair up in a ponytail.
"Well I'm leaving," I announced as I walked towards the door. Steve walked up behind me. I opened it for him then locked it when I stepped out.
"Think of things we can do," I told him while walking down the hall. He nodded and I disappeared down the stairs.
I really didn't need to run any errands. It was a lame excuse to be by myself for a while. I walked to the Smithsonian and payed for a ticket. I casually made my way toward the Captain America exhibit. I was drawn to this place for some reason. It wasn't my initial plan to come here, but I felt like I should, so here I am. Little kids ran around my feet, blasting each other with toy guns. I smiled as I continued my walk through. When I turned to see the panel with Bucky's face on it, there was a man standing there staring at it. I moved over to the side to study his face. He looked like Bucky, but I wasn't sure. His hat was somewhat covering his face, but his beard made it harder to tell. He quickly left, and my feet took control. I walked after him down the street. I was sure it was Bucky now. I knew by the way he walked. I caught up to him a moment later and tapped his shoulder. He whipped around to face me and I smiled.
"Bucky what are you doing here?" I asked. His eyes widened and he tackled me. He began to fight me, but realized that here in the open wasn't a great place to beat the snot out of me. He dragged me into an alley and attacked me again. He retrieved a knife from his coat pocket and came at me with it. I blocked and dodged all I could. He was fast. His movements were fluid and quick like a snake, but I was quicker. I slammed his flesh hand into the brick wall, causing his grip on the knife to loosen just enough for me to snatch it away from him. I backed him down the alley further with kicks. As he fell back on the ground, he grabbed my leg and pulled it out from under me. He stood and knelt over me, punching me in the face. I pushed him off of me with as much force as I could. I grabbed he knife, and kept him planted on the ground with my knee on his chest. My other knee was placed on his metal arm. I held down his other arm and with my free one, I brought the knife to his neck. He looked at me with scared eyes. This was probably the first time someone had the upper hand in a fight. Tears filled my eyes as I took in his expression. I threw the knife away and got up. I took one last glance at Bucky before running away towards home.
I tried unlocking my door without making much noise, so Steve wouldn't come out. With just my luck, he walked out just as I got the door open. I cursed under my breath and bowed my head. My hair had fallen out of the ponytail when I was fighting Bucky, so it created a shield around my face.
"Hey! You weren't gone long. What'd you go do?" Steve asked.
"I don't want to talk right now," I grumbled as I walked into my apartment.
"What's wrong?" He questioned, but I slammed the door in his face before he could receive an answer. I quickly walked to the bathroom to examine my face. I had a bloody nose, a cut on my forehead above my left brow, and a cut on my lip. Nothing too bad, but I didn't know how I'd hide it from Steve. I had to think of excuses and quick. I cleaned up the blood, ran back into my room, and put on a black beanie. It came down on my forehead just enough to barley cover the cut. I walked out of my apartment and towards Steve's. I knocked on his door and he came almost immediately. He sighed when he saw me.
"I'm sorry about snapping at you. I'm stressed out," I told him.
"About what?" He asked as he opened the door wider for me to enter. I walked in and sat down on his couch.
"I need to find another job. The daycare isn't doing much to help pay the bills," I explained. It was true. I had been thinking about another job ever since SHIELD when down.
"Doesn't SHIELD pay for most of it?" Steve asked.
"They agreed to pay for the rental of my apartment. Everything else, electricity, water, car, food, it all comes from me. I have to find something else that will cover at least half of that," I told him. He nodded in understanding and I sighed. I looked around his apartment, and my eyes settled on an acoustic guitar sitting in the far corner.
"You play?" I asked as I walked over to it.
"No. Someone gave it to me as a gift, but I haven't learned how," he told me. I picked it up and walked back over to the couch. I just randomly started strumming while I thought of a song. I finally thought of "All I Want" by Kodaline. I started strumming and singing quietly. The song reminded me of Bucky.
"When you said your last goodbye. I died a little bit inside. I lay in tears in bed all night; alone without you by my side. But If you loved me, why'd you leave me?" I sang. Steve was sitting on the opposite side of the couch smiling. Note to self, don't get caught up in a song while someone's watching you.
"All I want is, all I need is to find somebody. I'll find somebody like you." I finished and looked up at Steve with glassy eyes.
"I didn't know you played," he said quietly after a moment of silence.
"Yeah, well there are a lot of things you don't know about me," I said. "What time is it?" Steve looked at his watch.
"Twelve twenty. Why?" He asked.
"Let's go have a picnic in the park," I suggested. He nodded and we both stood. I went back into my apartment to find my picnic basket. I brought it back over to Steve's and set it on the counter.
"Can I bring your guitar?" I asked.
"Yeah. You can have it if you want," he said.
"Thanks, but I have my own," I told him.
"Why don't you ever play it?"
"I have to get the strings done," I answered.
"Oh. Well after you get them fixed, could you teach me?" He looked down at me with puppy dog eyes and I laughed.
"It would be an honor," I said. I helped Steve pack the basket with food and then headed down to my car.
We got to the park and found a nice big tree that provided a generous amount of shade. I helped Steve lay out a big red blanket and then took my shoes off and sat down. Steve handed me a peanut butter and banana sandwich as well as a bottled water.
"What happened to your lip?" Steve asked.
"I don't know," I answered.
"Well it wasn't there when you left."
"I told you I don't know." I took a bite of my sandwich.
"You're a horrible liar," he said. His gaze made me uncomfortable.
"Alright. I was walking home and some guys tried to steal my purse. I fought them off, walking away with a few scratches," I told him, looking him dead in the eye. I know that people don't make eye contact, they blush caused by a rapid heartbeat, and they don't stay still when lying. I made sure that none of those things gave me away.
"Why don't you tell me these things?" Steve asked me, his voice rising.
"Because it's nothing you really need to be concerned about. I got out of there alive, that's all that matters. Let's drop it. We've been fighting way too frequently lately," I said then took a sip of my water.
"Yeah. I'm sorry for overreacting," he said with a sigh.
"You're forgiven, but next time it's off with your head," I said, quoting Daisy from the other day. Steve laughed and moved closer to me. I finished my sandwich and laid down with my head in his lap. I placed the guitar on top of me, looking up at Steve.
"Any requests? Any songs you've heard over the radio, on the internet?" I asked.
"Can you play anything by John Mayer?" He asked.
"John Mayer? Sure." I thought for a moment before thinking of one. I started strumming 'All Ever Do Is Say Goodbye'.
"You know this one?" I asked him, and he nodded. "Sing then!"
"No," he said, laughing.
"Why not?" I asked.
"I am not going to start singing here in the middle of the park."
"Fine. All we ever do is say goodbye. Oh all we ever do is say goodbye. All we ever do is say goodbye. Oh all we ever do is say goodbye," I sang.
"You have a great voice. I would much rather listen to your voice than mine," Steve told me.
"You know, I've never heard you sing before."
"I do that on purpose," he replied.
"Will you?" I pleaded.
"No, Rose," he told me. I butted out my bottom lip and batted my eyelashes.
"When we get home, okay?" I nodded.
"Have you thought about any jobs?" Steve asked.
"Yeah. There's that restaurant down the street. I have an interview tomorrow," I told him.
"You want to be a waitress?"
"Oh hell no! Hostess would suit me better." He nodded in agreement and I stood up. "That being said, I have to go shop for an outfit. Wanna come?"
"Sure, but remember that I'm always honest, so if I don't like anything I'm gonna let you know," Steve said as he started to gather everything.
"I knew you would," I said with a smirk.
We were at the mall in JC Penny's as I was examining my reflection in the full body mirror.
"Pantsuit. Opinion?" I asked Steve while looking at his reflection sitting on the couch behind me.
"Well it's tight..." he started and I rolled my eyes. "But it's not you."
"Agreed. It's just," I sighed, "I don't know what else to wear."
"What about one of your old dresses?" He suggested. I turned around to look at him.
"I don't have any of my old dresses. I'm not sure if you're aware of the huge house fire that happened a year after my disappearance, but it took everything. My mother was lucky she made it out alive," I said with a sigh. My best friend, Bella, told me about it a couple years ago. She was there to comfort my mother when I couldn't. The only thing my mother was able to save was my locket. She had it until the day she passed. Bella then had it until she gave it to me two days before she too passed away.
"Well we could go shop for a dress like the ones you had," Steve mentioned, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Alright. Let me change." I walked back into the dressing room and changed back into my clothes. I walked back out and smiled at Steve. We walked into a boutique and I sighed as I scanned the racks.
"Let me know if you see anything," I said to Steve while walking around a table.
"Rose, I found something," he said after a minute while waving me over. I walked over to him and looked at the dress he was holding out.
"Well it looks good on the hanger; let's see how it looks off the hanger." I took the dress and headed into the dressing room. I slipped the dress on and smiled. I drew back the curtain and Steve's head snapped up. He instantly smiled. I looked at my reflection and turned.
"What do you think?" I asked him.
"It's...it's perfect." My smile widened.
"Yeah," I breathed out. I looked back at the dress. It was a sleeveless red dress with a skater skirt that fell about three inches above my knee, a triangle cutout at the bust, and a red belt to accentuate my waistline.
"So you're happy?" He asked me. I nodded vigorously. "Alright. Sold."
A couple hours later, Steve and I walked up the stairs towards our apartments.
"Thanks Steve for coming with me, and buying my dress. I promise I will pay you back," I told him as we stopped at our doors.
"You don't have to," he said while shaking his head.
"But I will!"
"So persistent. Will you call me after and tell me how it went?" I nodded.
"Night Steve," I said as I opened my door. Just as I was about to walk in, Sharon walked out.
"Oh hey guys," she greeted with a smile.
"Hey," Steve and I said simultaneously.
'Hop on that!' Steve tried stifling a laugh and shook his head. I winked at him before disappearing into my apartment. I put my bag down on my bed, and headed into my bathroom. The one benefit of the serum was that the healing process was a lot faster. My cuts were almost gone, and I only had slight bruising. I did my nightly routine which consists of washing my face, brushing my teeth, and changing into my pajamas. After that was finished, I walked into the kitchen to get a snack. I found some graham crackers and made my way over to the couch. I flipped through the tv channels until I settled for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. About fifteen minutes later, I fell asleep curled onto the couch.
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I apologize for this shitty filler chapter. I had writer's block and couldn't think of anything. I had the next chapter kinda planned out already, so I just needed to finish this one. Vote, comment, share!
Madie xx