Boyf Riends

Why Did I Write This

(Okay so um funny story)

(This book was supposed to actually be serious)

(But like)

(I cannot write anything seriously)

(So this entire book is going to be labeled as a "gay comedic fanfiction")

(Actually I guess "gay" isn't important)

(Because what fanfiction isn't gay?)

(Haha)

(Ha)

(ANYWAY)

(Warning: there's a whisk)

(Michael's POV)

"Hey, are you hungry?" Jeremy asked.

"Huh. I forgot food existed. Yeah, I am."

"Great! I am too. Should we order a pizza?"

An idea popped into my head. "Actually," I said. "Can we have some waffles?"

Jeremy's face instantly lit up. "Can I?"

I smiled back at him, and he raced upstairs.

I walked up into the kitchen. I could hear the pitter-patter of his feet upstairs. His bedroom was right above the dining room.

About a minute later, the sound of his feet ponding back down the stairs came. Then, it was quiet.

Suddenly, Jeremy stepped into the room flamboyantly, throwing confetti in front of him.

"HELLO."

"Hey," I responded.

"WELCOME TO MY SHOW!"

He fumbled with his phone. A cheesy, gameshow-like song came through the small speaker on the counter.

"Let's see, who do we have in the audience tonight?" He proceeded to scan the kitchen. His eyes landed on me. "Well, well, well! Who might you be?"

"I'm-" I started, but he cut me off. He grabbed a whisk from a drawer and held it up to my face to resemble a microphone.

"I'm Michael."

"HELLO MICHAEL."

"You're so fucking extra," I chuckled.

"EXCUSE ME, THIS IS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY SHOW. NO CUSSING!"

"My bad," I giggled.

"MOVING ON!"

He threw the whisk into another room.

"My name is Jenny C., and welcome to Applebee's!"

"Why is it Applebee's?"

"BECAUSE IT RHYMES!" he exclaimed, taking out the sugar and milk.

"Then why is your name Jenny C.?"

"I'm sorry dear I can't HEERE you. What did you say?"

"Nothing," I responded with a laugh.

"GREAT!"

He slammed a mixer down on the table and introduced all of the ingredients he was using.

"And now they go in the bowl!"

"Can I have a guest from the audience help
me out?" he asked once everything was in the bowl. I raised my hand weakly. My face was red from laughing so much.

"GREAT! Please come up to the stage, dear!"

I walked to the other side of the table.

"Would you be a plum and plug this in for me?" he asked, handing me the cord to the mixer. I plugged it in.

"Thank you so much! You can sit back down now."

"Why couldn't you plug it in yourself?"

"I'M TOO ELECTRIC TO TOUCH OUTLETS, HONEY. YOU WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DIE, WOULD YOU?"

"Of course not, Jenny C."

"THANKS!"

He turned the mixer on and churned away at the batter until it was smooth.

"And now we get out the waffle iron!" He bent down to get it out of a low cabinet.

"I NEED MORE AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION!" he exclaimed. "You! The cute one!"

"M-Me?" I asked.

"I SAID THE CUTE ONE, DIDN'T I?"

I could see him turning red, trying not to break character. I just smiled and walked over.

"What now?"

"Plug this in, dear!"

I plugged the iron into the same outlet as the mixer.

"WONDERFUL! Now go sit."

I sat back down.

"While we're waiting for that to heat up, let's do a little Q&A with the audience. Any questions?"

I raised my hand.

"YOU!" he said, pointing to me.

"Are waffles gay?"

Jeremy bit his lip, trying to stay in character again. This time, he failed. He fell onto he ground laughing.

He gripped the table and stood back up for a second.

"We're going to take a quick intermission!" he exclaimed between laughs, before falling back on the floor.

I walked over to him and helped him up. "There's no way what I said was that funny," I said.

"I'd like to see you do all of that with a straight face!"

"Fair," I giggled.

We proceeded to make the waffles together. And, honestly, Jerem- Jenny C. is a great chef. These things smelled amazing.

We ate them together, randomly laughing at the previous events.

What a night.

(Well wow every time I wrote "dear" autocorrect capitalized it)

(WRONG STORY, AUTOCORRECT)

(EVAN ISN'T HEERE)