lighter || phan au || prequel to cold

c h a p t e r // s i x t e e n

"we're going to the zoo" i say, when phil opens the door.

he blinks.

"i've got things to say, too" i say, referencing what he said last week.

"i suppose i'm dressed right, then" phil says. i look at his shirt, which has a cartoon lion on it.

"perfect" i say, and i hold out my hand. he grins and takes it, and i pull him out of his flat and down the hall.

o.o.o

"he looks like you" phil says. i watch the monkey scratch its butt and then sniff its fingers.

i look at phil, and he's grinning cheekily.

"it definitely looks like you" i reply. "it's got your ears." he shoves me gently, laughing.

"i think he's cute anyway" he says. "or else i wouldn't have compared him to you."

"you're just trying to be cute to cover your asshole-ish-ness" i say, but i still take his hand when he offers it. the monkey wanders over to its food dish and starts eating.

"same" phil and i say at the same time. then we look at each other and burst into laughter. i notice a mother pull her young daughter away from us, and that just makes me laugh harder.

o.o.o

the lion roars.

phil roars back.

"what's he saying?" i ask. "since you're apparently fluent in lion." phil's cheeks turn just slightly pink.

"i'm pretty sure he said something along the lines of 'fuck off'" he says. "and i said either 'hello, how are you' or something rude about his mother, dialects are tricky." i laugh.

"how does one go about learning lion?" i ask. "is there a duolingo course for that?"

"yeah but it's on the deep web, you've got to have a special browser" he says. "and it's tricky, it's all about tone and volume."

i slide my hand into his and rest my head on his shoulder.

"look, kittens" i say softly, as the lion ushers two babies on unsteady legs towards the feeding area.

"they're called cubs, i think" phil says. "i love them."

i watch him watching the lions.

i love him.

o.o.o

"i have to say, i didn't expect this" phil says. i don't turn away from the llamas when i answer.

"i don't give off llama vibes?" i ask. "come pet him, he's so soft."

"don't they spit?" phil asks warily.

"not if you're nice to him" i say. "really, phil, you're missing out." he finally steps forward and places a hand on the llama's wool, right next to my hand.

"he is soft" he says.

"i love him" i say.

"dan, i'm pretty sure we're the only ones over ten here" phil says, laughing softly.

"where else am i going to pet a llama" i say.

"fair point" he replies.

we pet the llama in silence for a moment.

"i want a llama" i say wistfully.

"of course you do" phil says, and i can hear the laugh in his voice. i look away from the llama for a second, to look at him. he's looking at me. watching me watch the llama.

o.o.o

"this was a good day" phil says, when we stop outside his door. "can i say i had a good day with my boyfriend?"

i know what he's asking.

"i'd like that" i say. "a lot."

he kisses me goodnight.