Constricted Lies (Unedited and On Hold)

.: Chapter Two - White and Black Roses :.

~ Dedicated to Lindsey for being an admin with me in our hw group thing for our core classes ;D

Please read the note at the end c:

.: Chapter Two - White and Black Roses :.

My eyes flashed open, my body shaking from shock and shivering with sweat encasing it. This was how my mornings started. This was just a side effect of what had happened to me all these years and, of course, that night. The night I felt the most torment and suffering from the mistake I made - the night I screwed up and almost lost the battle to continue to fight or to give up, entirely.

Sam.

I got up and brushed my teeth; I wasn't going to eat breakfast, anyway. I almost never did. I mostly took a fruit to eat for breakfast and ate a granola bar for lunch. Dinner was always the meal that I actually had, like a normal person - it prevented me from getting severe anorexia (is there even such a thing?), even though I already was a little... small?... for my age. I didn't really care; I only stayed for Lizzie. She would be devastated if I ever left.

I changed out of my camisole and cotton pyjama pants into a black tee with 'Never Give In' written on the front - it was Sam's favourite song quote by BVB - with extra skinny skinnys, chains hanging off them, and canvases completed the look. I applied the usual eye make-up I wore and teased my already unruly hair into a side ponytail, slinging on my bag.

After I got myself ready for school, went down to the ground floor and turned into a hallway. There were two doors at the end. I was standing in front of the door on the left, but my eyes lingered on the door on the right. My heart constricted, leaving me gasping for breath. The memories and the nightmares crashed into me at full speed, knocking the remainder of my breath out. I was choking away on them, but I fought to gulp in all the air and leaned against the wall. My knees gave in and I collapsed onto the floor, shaking uncontrollably. This had never happened when I came down, here. This was different, something was changing.

Panting, I got up and started to reach for the door on the right. I stopped midway, and twisted open the door on the left. It was the sight I was so familiar with, the paradise Sam had created in the dark world we faced. Together, we felt unstoppable - almost.

Aromatic scents drifted around the room, even as I went down the steps - room wouldn't really be a suitable word to describe where I was. If you thought we were doing drugs in here, you're wrong; drugs smell pretty aromatic as well, so I've heard. Ugh, why am I even thinking about those wretched things?

I silently thanked Sam for making this haven for us. The sight before me was as astounding and breathtaking as the first day. Roses, alternating with petals white and black, were planted in rows and rows of raised beds. Their stillness gave the room an eerie, but comforting feel - it seemed like they would listen to you for hours and would blend in perfectly with a cemetery. The thorns of these beauties were vicious and cruel, digging into flesh, like eagles would their prey - perfect to fend off any attacker. Their fragrance would lure their victims into a blissful craze that left long-lasting effects on them. Sam and I were immune, numbed by the pain we felt.

I'd never thought that I'd like gardening, but I was wrong, I guess. I cared for the roses the way I would a normal human being, just better. I always failed to care about others the way I would for Sam, only the roses got that devoting care. I did my usual routine when I visited them. I played some soft, gentle music for them, they swayed to the beat; I showered them with sprinklers, letting them sing with joy; I put fertiliser around them; and groomed them by trimming off parts that were getting too long, feeling their pain when I did.

It was time to leave. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I stopped and turned to say, "Goodbye."

My mum, Anna, called my name when I was about to leave for school. I turned to see her standing four metres away in green trousers the colour of vomit that made her look like she was still in the 1950s, a plain blue tee that hung loosely, a brown jacket covering it, and socks that were acid yellow. The whole ensemble stung my eyes every time I looked at it.