Transient (On Hold)

6

The question 'How was your first day?'  made Autumn feel like a child, but she had to answer it to prevent her stepfather from worrying. His fingers had been tapping the steering wheel gently when he had asked, but he kept glancing at her furtively. Autumn stared out of the window, watching the mundane scenery of the town fly by the car as she searched for a reply

It had been... Okay? Fine?

"It was good." She replied. it was a rather monotonous word to use, but her stepfather took it positively, his tapping becoming much more cheerful. 
She leaned her head against the headrest and continued her vacant staring out of the window. Thinking back to that morning, she realised that going back to school didn't seem worth the fuss. It was indeed a new place with completely new people who didn't know her, and she'd had no issues that she had almost expected. Already a weight was lifting off of her shoulders. 

"Did you make any friends?" Jamal asked, glancing at her swiftly before turning his attention back to the road. The car rolled to a steady stop as they found themselves in lunchtime traffic. 

Autumn thought back to Ben- the only person her age who had spoken to her the entire day, while she had said barely anything to him in return. However, instead of bombarding her with invading questions like she had been expecting since the moment her choice to return to school had been made, he had given her helpful advice and information; Mr. Breville, their form teacher, was strict but helpful when necessary. Mrs. Ashley was known amongst the students as Foghorn for the impressive set of lungs she had. The library could get overcrowded around lunch, and sixth-form students had the exclusive privilege of leaving the school grounds for the lunch period- He had even warned her against the the school meals. 
But for all the help her had given her on her paramount first day back at school, she still didn't know if she wanted to consider becoming his friend.

"I'm not sure." was all she said, which earned her an amused look from Jamal.

"I guess it's a start." he mumbled to himself as the traffic began moving again. 

Once home, she found a clear polythene bag sat waiting on her bed, inside which was her new school uniform- neatly folded and smelling of new clothes. Much like the clothes she had put on that morning in a successful attempt to blend in as much as possible, the uniform consisted of  a grey jumper embroidered with the school's logo, a black blazer, and a cobalt blue tie. The white dress shirt and grey pleated skirt had been bought separately, and sat next to the package in a pile. 

The thought of being able to properly blend sent a wave of relief rushing through her that she hadn't known she had needed. 

I'm moving forwards.

Suddenly she felt a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips, but quickly caught herself. She had no reason to smile at something so trivial. 

Was it out of guilt that she was trying to persuade herself otherwise?

She spent the rest of her day doing things she usually would; Yoga was the first thing on her agenda. It helped to relieve the stress she had built up within her over the course of half a day. She doubled her body over and reached for her toes, relishing the familiar faint burning sensation in her lower back and legs.

I did it. She thought as she released her pose and moved into another. A fresh start.

Upon hearing of their daughters growing issues within her old school, they had grown concerned. They had offered to go through the school with complaints, but their daughter hadn't allowed them to. 

Why?

Why had she done that? 

They were my friends.

She had accepted the torment until she could no longer stand it. She had trusted that her friends would understand, or would have at least come to her for the answers they so desperately wanted. Even if she couldn't explain, she could have at least tried. 

But friends don't do what they did, a small voice whispered. She realised that now.

She closed her eyes tight and shook her head, momentarily freezing in place. Thinking about it was counterproductive, so she waited for the familiar ache to wash away any negative thoughts that had squeezed through the crack in her mental dam before moving onto the next pose.

After taking up yoga, she found herself being much more flexible than before. despite her young age of 19, her joints would often crack when she moved- she blamed that on her lack of exercise and overall lazy lifestyle. when her mum had first learnt that her daughter had been practising yoga, she had offered to sign her up to a class in town. She had refused. 

Now, however, she didn't think it was such a bad idea. The reason she had been so reluctant to start yoga classes in her old town had been for the very same reason that she had dropped out of her old school. 

A new town, a fresh start.

She still didn't feel confident enough to throw herself out there. She had barely made it into the school this morning, but she decided she would bring up the topic to her mum for further discussion. 

There came a knock on her closed bedroom door, but no attempt was made to enter. Her parents, particularly her mother, had started respecting her daughters personal space a lot more that she used to, but Autumn was somewhat thankful. She didn't want her parents being overly concerned about her when it certainly wasn't necessary. 

She straightened up and pushed a few loose strands away from her face which pulsed with heat from being bent over double. "Yes?"

Her bedroom door creaked open, and her mum's doe round eyes peered in. She smiled when she saw her daughter, and allowed herself further into the room. 

"Do you want some lunch, sweetie? You haven't eaten yet." Upon the mention of food, Autumns stomach growled loudly. She hadn't realised she was hungry. 

"yes please." Her mum's smile widened. 

Since Autumn had agreed to move towns, her mum had become much happier. She was starting to look like she had used to- light had begin returning to her hair, and her smile no longer looked as sad. Seeing her mum returning to her old self was the sort of push Autumn needed to continue working hard towards her own recovery. 

"Would you like a sandwich?" Her mum asked, but the longer Autumn stood there, the more urgent the growling became. Her mum noticed this, and with a light chuckle, she instead suggested something a little heavier. "Chips to go with it?"

Autumn nodded her head eagerly. 

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Hi again!

This chapter, admittedly, took a fair bit of working out, but after re-writing it a couple of times, I got it to a point that I am happy with. I hope you like reading it too! 

Also, I decided to try yoga, because much like Autumn my joint crack when I move, however I must be doing something wrong, because my wrists hella hurt! 

Thank you for reading! I hope you stick around for the next chapter!