Enhance

Chapter 33 - Tomlinson

Chapter 33 - Tomlinson

I stay standing there for I don’t know how long, just staring blankly at the place from which she disappeared.

Don’t touch me!

You’re just like the others.

I hear her words. The words I never believed she was going to tell me and I don’t even know when everything went wrong. How we ended up like this. And I can’t even blame it all on her because she didn’t overreact. I did make a mistake this time. It’s not what she thinks but at the same time it is. I didn’t stop Clary. I didn’t defend Robin when Clary said she was a bitch. I didn’t tell Clary to back off. I can’t defend myself against that.

Why? Why didn’t I push Clary away before? Why did I let her do that? I know I would’ve gone crazy if I had seen another guy all over Robin. I would’ve just lost it. And why wouldn’t she be mad at me if I did exactly what she was afraid of?

I acted like a real idiot.

“Lou?” another voice asks and only then I come back to reality. I turn around and I find Clary, smiling at me.

“What?” I snap and she stops, losing her smile but she recovers soon.

“Don’t worry, love. You got rid of her. What a bitch, yelling at you like that when you’ve had a rough day?”

“Don’t call her that,” I cut her off and she blinks. “Don’t ever call Robin a bitch. You have no right and I won’t let you call her anything.”

I’m furious. This time, when it makes no difference I stand up for Robin? What about fifteen minutes ago? Why couldn’t I do this fifteen minutes ago?

“Lou, she left. You don’t owe her anything. You two are not together. Come with me,” she reaches out to grab my hand but I step back. “Babe, come on, I’ll make you forget all about her.”

“Go away, Clary. I don’t want you, I don’t have the slightest interest in you. Now please, leave me alone!” I shout at the end and she steps back, confused.

I know it’s rude what I’m doing, that no woman deserves to be yelled at but I can’t control it. If she hadn’t come nothing of this would’ve happened. Robin and I would’ve made up and tried to fix things. This time she came. This time her disposition was different but it was all ruined the moment Clary came throwing herself at me.

Robin was right. By not saying clearly that I don’t want her I only encouraged her to go further, to press herself against me, to whisper in my ear. I encouraged her to keep trying to seduce me and now this happened.

“You’re a jerk!” Clary shouts but I don’t care.

“Leave,” I state coldly and she makes a weird noise before she marches away, leaving me there alone with my thoughts and regrets.

“Why couldn’t you see this part, Robin?” I whisper. This would’ve put her at ease. This would’ve showed her that I really don’t want any other girl. Words could never assure her, actions could’ve had if I had done this before. If I had been more aware the first time I’m sure we wouldn’t even have fought. She would’ve known from the beginning that I wasn’t an idiot who doesn’t even realise when a girl is flirting.

After all Robin was right… I only minimised her insecurities. Actions are worth a thousands words but I never did something to reassure her, I only promised her I wouldn’t cheat on her. And then she walks in and sees a scene that really looks awful, like I was about to cheat on her.