Colorless

31 - White Dress

Long hours of silence stretched by as they walked. The endless plains and low, rolling hills lulled Nell into a haze. Her eyes glazed over and her body numbed until she was trapped in her head with her own dark thoughts. A hundred questions and a thousand excuses formed and then passed. And there were the words Ianthe had spoken to her before she left. Nell didn't know how she felt. Her emotions were as dark as her thoughts. She was grief-stricken, angry, hurt, anxious, concerned...

Kin walked in front of her, one hand always on a length of rope tied to Nell's hands. He didn't pull her or so much as lead her with it. The rope slacked, and he kept his pace slow to match hers. Aside from his steady forward steps, he was as silent and unmoving as a statue.

They hadn't said a word to each other since she admitted her own guilt. They packed and left the city without much interaction at all. He wouldn't even look at her.

Nell tripped, her legs finally unable to lift her heavy feet over the ruts in the dirt path. She landed on her hands and knees and released a loud sob. The shock of the fall had pushed her over the edge she'd been delicately balancing on for the past several hours. She cried out, unable to hold her emotions back any longer. They emerged as tears and heavy, heaving sobs.

She pressed a fist to her mouth, trying to suppress her cries, but it took some time before she could even catch her breath and longer still before the tears flowed to an uncertain stop.

Kin was in front of her when she looked up again. His hat was low over his eyes, coat buttoned to his neck. Nell used to think the large black coat which stretched out from his shoulders and down past his knees made him look intimidating and larger than life. Seeing him now, she couldn't break the image of a young boy wearing his father's clothes in a poor attempt to look older, wiser, more mature. She thought of how nice it would be to wear something like that, the wool like a large blanket, the weight a comforting embrace.

"Are you hurt?" he asked. His voice was quiet and distant, and it almost pushed her back into tears, but she kept her footing.

"No." She had tripped on hard dirt but had been lucky to fall uphill into soft grass with just a few scrapes on her hands and knees that didn't bleed. It stung, but she knew the pain would fade soon. Most of her discomfort was from the burning ache of her muscles and the blisters beginning to form on her feet from their long walk. And now the ache of her chest and throat added to her unending pains.

Kin sat on the edge of the road. He rummaged around through his robes until he found a few strips of dried meat that he held out for her. "We've been walking too long."

While she ate, they remained quiet. With each bite, she worked up a little more nerve to ask him. By the time she finished he looked at her as if expecting her to say something.

"How long have you known about Ianthe?" she asked.

"Since she almost killed me." He put his hand to his chest, reminding Nell of the large scars hidden beneath his clothes.

The realization washed over her. The black blood bleeding from his wounds and dripping from Ianthe's sword. The way his behavior changed after that day. He started spending more time with her, asking questions, hinting at things he couldn't have known. She felt stupid for not figuring it out before. He already knew about Ianthe. That was why he'd been so insistent that she tell him her secret. He just wanted her to admit it.

Nell closed her eyes. She could still see Kin, head in her lap, crying out in pain as Ianthe's blood poisoned his body. And then Raleigh, her limp body bleeding out on the floor, heart punctured by that same black blood. "She attacked you?"