The Exchange

Chapter 22

"Why would you do that?" I shouted.

"Well, Amanda, generally kissing is a sign of affection," Blaine said.

"Stop doing that!"

"I fucked up again," he sang in a made-up tune.

"Yes, you did. You have no control over your emotions, and I'm tired of it. I just wanted to go to sleep, and you're over here like Hi, I'm Blaine, and I just really like making Amanda suffer."

"You get grumpy when you're tired."

Thanks.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down. It didn't work. "Blaine, I love you. I seriously do. But it is taking every ounce of strength I have not to strangle you right now."

He smiled. "You love me?"

"Shut up. You only hear half of what I say."

"There was another half?" he asked.

I bit my cheek. He really did love pissing me off. "You know what, you need to leave before I do permanent damage to both of us."

He frowned. "Are you acting like this because you like me?"

I froze.

"Did I fuck up again?" he asked.

"I swear, if you say one more thing regarding a potential romance between the two of us, I will murder you in the most painstaking way possible."

He kissed my nose.

"You found a loophole," I muttered.

He nodded and smiled, clearly proud of himself.

I sighed. "Look, if you give me a second to calm down and think about all this rationally, I'll get back to you tomorrow."

He shrugged. "Sure. You do you."

"So you can leave now. Bye."

"I'm not going anywhere. You ruined my plans for tonight with your leggings and reluctance to socialize."

That was a fair point, but he said he didn't want to go to homecoming either.

"Well, sorry. Sorry I ruined everything," I said.

"You didn't ruin anything. Hell, I'm a little scared that I did." He laughed like he always did, but it wasn't his goofy I'm a complete idiot laugh. It was a nervous I'm a complete idiot laugh.

And it was quite possible that he did ruin something. We had friendship down to a science, and the last thing I wanted was for something else to change in my life. God knew that was happening enough already.

Besides, Blaine was so far from perfect. He was a little selfish, he called me out and kept me in check, and he probably cared about food more than he would ever care about me.

But even though all of that was true, maybe he was worth a chance. After all, he was the only person who didn't change when Viktor came around.

***

I didn't sleep much that night, which wouldn't have been a big deal if I was allowed to take my nap. For the first time in a while, it was completely out of choice that I didn't sleep.

I made charts upon charts upon charts to organize my thoughts about Blaine. Pros and cons, scatter plots of feelings, probabilities of having anything between us ruining our friendship. Every piece of data found its place on one of my charts, which I decorated in pinks, blues, greens, and yellows.