One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Bullying Part 2

You know how everyone says it will get better? In many cases, that's true however not in my case. My case was the opposite of better it was so much worse. Over the next months, I never wanted to go to school, I was scared, alone, and broken physically and mentally. Not many knew what was happening to me and why I never wanted to go. There's only one word I can say to explain it all.....beatings. This was my little secret and somewhat still is. I had my locker changed 5 times and they kept finding me. When no one was looking they would hit me or kick me and sometimes drag me into the bathroom and leave me on the floor. Bruised and bloody I had to get up clean up and pretend nothing even happened. My teachers treated me like shit, I will never forget one of my teachers who called me out in front of everyone. I had a choir trip to go on the next day so I needed the work, I went up and asked. Her response still haunts me today " I didn't know they would let you go and do special things because of how much school you have missed." She said this so bitter and I was ready to cry at any minute but I kept it in until I got to the bathroom. Tears flowed out like a waterfall just like it would if I was home alone in my bed. Towards the end of the school year, I had given up on everything I didn't even go the last day because I figured it was worthless like me. Why bother going if no one was going to sign my yearbook, sit alone, be given dirty looks, and so on. This was the end of my bullying problem but now when I go anywhere my guard is up. Everyone calls me the class bitch but I would prefer that over being called weak. Late at night in the weakest person, you could meet crying, shaking, and screaming internally. Once I walk out that bedroom door I am someone who no one wants to fuck with because they know once they do it can get ugly in mere seconds.