To Live an Die in my mind

Dear Abby.

Our eyes met from afar, I knew she didn't care for me by the way she turned her head but it didn't matter. In that instant when we locked eyes, I knew that she was my all and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was an incomparable beauty, with dark glistening hair that flowed like a river of mystery down her back. This river only served to accentuate the angelic likeness forced upon her face; she looked to be the spawn of the angel Lucifer; a pure beauty of irresistible temptation. Her body was the definition of perfect, like a slab of marble chiselled into fine art. As my eyes found themselves lost in hers, I could hear her name dash through my mind; Michelle. A rose by any other calling could not be any less beautiful nor be less than perfection. However not for all the love that was in my heart, could I make her love me. Her mind was set on another and compared against me he was a man of Spartan stature. People may inquire about the emotional strain of seeing one's soul mate in the arms of another and to be honest it’s a wrath unlike any other. I vaguely remember biting into my tongue so hard, blood dripped from my mouth. My friend Chase came to me with napkin, "You're the only idiot who looks at Michelle. You do realise that?" I ignored his dismal attempts to dissuade me. Perhaps Michelle was not all that my words had crafted her but in my eyes there was no contest for my heart in a competition of beauty. Too often he begged me to get over her, that there was no way she and I could ever be together but I was adamant in my pursuit. One day after home room, I saw her heading down the hall and I thought that this was my chance. I kept running through the conversation in my head, I'd start with something flattering. My dad is always flattering mom. "Hi Michelle, you look simply radiant today." That would work I would tell her that the moment she turned around. However when she did turn and the smoke cleared from my love blind eyes cleared, we were standing alone in the girls washroom. I shrieked and ran. I found Chase and I told him what happened, being inconsiderate he thought it was absolutely hilarious. I felt like at that exact moment I could sink down to the lowest bowels of despair, I looked as if I was stalking her. On my way home I passed her house but this time I didn't stop and imagine us living together, I was just so embarrassed. After dinner there was a knock on the door, Chase was on the other side with my boots. He decided to take it upon himself to cheer me up. Chase and I had been friends since primary school, way back when he helped me take down a bully. Ever since then we've always had each other’s back, to me Chase was the brother I always wanted. I returned home drenched in sweat and covered in grass stains, only to see Michelle sitting at the table. I was so confused, I couldn't decide whether to jump for joy or have a heart attack. My mum explained that she and Michelle's mother worked together and she invited them for dinner. Before she could finish explaining I darted to my room, put on my Sunday best and reserved the seat opposite my angel. Mum asked whether I had invited Chase but I paid her no mind. I made no slip ups and luckily, Michelle neglected to talk about the incident in the girls washroom though I could tell she was a bit uncomfortable. When they were leaving, Michelle turned to me and waved. I don't think I'd ever been happier in my life.

The next day in Phys. Ed. the coached decided to put us on the same team for volleyball. She kept looking at me and being as smooth as I was simply glanced at her and offered my coolest smile. Inside my heart, though raged a monsoon of joy. We dominated the other side, and Michelle even offered me some comfort after I cost us the game. She and I seemed to really connect on a good level, in my mind I could already see her and I together. Chase however was less than enthusiastic of my news; he didn't want to say anything but I just knew he liked her. The next time we went out I confronted him about it, he denied it again but I wouldn't give up that easy. He began screaming and it just slipped out, "I don't like any girl, you're the one I like!" He leaned in to kiss me and I punched him in the face, I told him to stop being so sick. I tried to explain that I would never feel that way about him or ever understand his feelings. He didn't speak a word to me he just ran off crying. The next day Michelle noticed me sitting alone and sat next to me. I saw my chance to make my move, though I was still shook up by Chase. I leaned in held, her face and kissed her. The instant seemed to last forever, it was the culmination of every joyous feeling I had ever had. Suddenly I felt her pull away. "What are you sick?!" she screamed, "Get away from me you freak!" I ran to Chase but he wasn't there or rather he wasn't there for me I had run off the only friend I ever had. As I turned and was about to walk off Chase grabbed my hand and began to kiss me, he stopped for a moment and whispered in my ear; "I love you Abby."