Daddy Issues - Johnnyboy

31; Only time will Tell

    I woke up to pounding on the door, I groggily tried to get up but a huge wave of pain shot through me and I immediately laid back down. I coughed painfully, making my stomach lurch forward each time, making me groan loudly, I felt hot tears brim at the corners of my eyes and they fell fast. I put my legs to my chest and made swears and groans profusely under my breath. I heard crying coming from the other side of the room and I looked up to find Ponyboy shaking at the door, holding the knob in desperation.

   His white skin was full of sweat and there was the smell of vomit coming from the waste basket. The smell seemed like it was permanently in my nose the more I realized it was there and it was nauseating me so much to the point where I fell out of the bed and started to crawl to the can. I threw up what we ate the night before, or knowing myself, a couple days before.

"Ponyboy, whats going on?" My stomach was empty and for a mere few seconds, I felt my stomach relax, that's exactly when the throbbing of my head started, I clutched my hair in my fingers tightly and let out a squeak of frustration.

"They won't let me out!" He yelled and stood up and pulled at the door, tugged mercilessly. He was so weak to the point where he was barely pulling at it, but he seemed so determined. I stood up and put my hand on his shoulder, swallowing thickly. He flinched, hard, letting me know that he did not want to be touched at the moment. It was like seeing another person, he eyes just seemed so cold and hurt and wild all in one.

"Ponyboy, you just need to stay calm, everything is gonna be-" He ran to his dresser, opening the drawers faster than light itself, he pulled out a small bobby pin and went to the door again, he shoved the pin into it and twisted, trying to find the right angle in the lock.

"What are you trying to do?" I asked him and he continued his mission on trying to open the locked door. I guess that answers that question,

"I can't do it anymore, Johnny. I need it, I need to have it, Everything hurts." He told me and I sighed deeply. There was a rush in my system when I heard the knob click in defeat.

    He looked at me with those eyes once more before throwing the door open with all his might, I don't know what willed me to do this but all I could think about was getting out. Getting the hell out of there, and getting the thing my body needed most. He ran out into the living room and started to throw things, tossing them around the room, searching everywhere and god he was angry, if looks could kill, I'd be in the ground by now but I know he wasn't angry at me, or maybe he was, I don't know anymore.

I joined him in his reckless behavior though, that was the only thing I could do, I might as well, because the thought of having it, fueled me with so much desire and I practically lost my mind because of it. We ripped at the couch, tossing the cushions looking in crevices and into other things, just tearing the place apart. We went into the kitchen and I searched through the cabinets for something, anything.

I went to the bathroom downstairs and threw the cabinets open in hope of finding some type of drug, anything that could settle us down. I found bottles of pills with odd names I couldn't pronounce. Oxycodone? It said under it, a muscle relaxer, most likely for Darry since he's been roofing houses and such. Hydromorphone? Another pain reliever. I grabbed those two and another one of the Vicodin bottles as well.

"You find anything?!" I heard him yell and I ran to the kitchen but he was in the large laundry room, tearing things apart once more.

"Yeah. I think so. . . " I called out to him, his face flushed brightly as he turned around and kissed me. Like I was giving him some type of prize, and I happily obliged to his offer and kissed back twice as hard. I was slowly edging him to the wall and he had his hands on the back of my neck, trying to bring me closer. He opened his mouth and I took this as an opportunity to slip my tongue through and he didn't protest, he guided me almost and he breathed through his nose. I opened my eyes into the kiss and looked at him while my lips were moving in sync with his, sloppily.

His cheeks were flushed bright red and he was holding my face to his so tightly, so I closed my eyes again and let the sensation of his lips against mine flow throughout my body. I held his waist to mine and I stepped a little closer, placing my knee between his legs. He made a sound in protest, like a whine almost and I don't think I've heard that before. He started to move from the wall going to chair in the living room, He sat me down as he climbed on top of me.

"How far are we willing to take this?" I asked him, as he started to kiss my jaw sensually, slowly edging down to my neck, he stopped at my adam's apple and slowly went up to my earlobe and bit at it softy, making my eyes roll back in my head and let out a shaky inaudible breath.

"Depends. . ." He whispered, the familiar pleasurable chill rippled through my spine and I breathed deep.

"On?" I asked, and he chuckled and captured my lips again, and I rested my hands on his love handles, gripping them hard. He let go of my neck and placed his hands over mine, grabbing them tightly, moving them lower onto his butt. He smirked against my lips and giggled quietly at my shyness. I've only seen this side of Ponyboy, once or twice. . . and god did I like it, I loved it.

"God I love you," I spoke and he stopped suddenly, abruptly at that. He looked in my eyes for about four seconds exactly before tears brimmed his own eyes. He put his hand over his mouth in shock. What did I do?

"You've never said that to me before and I'm just- I'm sorry, Johnny, I'm ruining this." He choked up on the words, I furrowed my brows as I kissed his tears away, I immediately blushed, it was such a cheesy move but it seemed to help him in the slightest.

"I've said it before. . ." I recalled, and he shook his head lightly.

"Not like that. You've always told it to me with- well, friendship love. If that makes any sense. I don't think you've really said it to me before that, and with such-- more emotions and I'm just happy, I'm really happy because of it." I smiled softly as I went deep in thought,

  I'm sure that I've told him I loved him. I had to of, I guess I sounded more genuine this time. The look in his eyes when I said it was going to be unforgettable for me. I made him happy because of it.

I made him happy.

The realization shook me to the core, and I smiled wide and as did he, while sniffling still. I'd never thought, a day in my pathetic life that I could make someone as special as him, happy.

"I- love- you. So much. Always remember that." I kissed him between the words and he was so red and he was smiling so big.

Suddenly, Ponyboy and I immediately stood up, I heard Pony mutter 'shit' as we heard the gang pull up in the driveway.

"I didn't think they'd be back so soon, I freaked when they told me they were going out." He whispered to me and I grabbed his hand, he looked down at me and I pulled the pills out of my pocket, I put them in his hand and he opened all of the bottles, grabbed two out of each and closed them back up. He gave me my share and he held his, I grabbed his hand once more but this time, interlocked my fingers with his softly.

"Are we gonna tell them anytime soon?" I asked, and he sighed, but nodded. We heard the lock open and I closed my eyes in fear.