Love Lessons (Marina Diamandis)

Chapter Five

Time had never passed so slowly as these two months did. I'm juggling with my studies, my job and Marina. At the same time, no one around me knows about her new deal, which now is getting real hard to hide. She decided to get her job back at the school, something that makes everything feel oddly familiar, yet nothing at all. Everything that's going on feels too real, us living together now, the baby on the way, yet somehow I have no idea how to go through with this.

My mother, my sister and my friends are oblivious to the situation. But they won't be able to do that for much longer, and I'll have to give explanations, ones I don't want to give, ones that I don't even want to think of. The worst part I already know it's going to be dealing with all of the negative comments, not that they don't already say them, but it will be a totally different level.

The only ones that really know what's going on, are Derek, who knew before me, and Alison, who happens to be my boss. I had to tell somebody, one that would support me over Marina, and Al was the best option I had. Once I told her, she offered me a job at her company. Now I work twice as much, earn twice as much, and I get to see her twice as much. Marina is definitely not happy about that, but she knows she can't say anything to me.

I'd like to think that I have it all together, but I honestly do not. No matter how much I think of it, I still don't know what to do. You're supposed to kind of have an idea of what you want to do in life when you're in your twenties, but I am absolutely lost, and as my last class of the day ends, I close my book, put it in my bag, not having understood one single word of my next assignment.

I am not going to quit, I repeat to myself over and over, not quite convincing myself. But as for now, I have no time to think about it. Marina is probably about to get home, and I should be on my way. There's only a little while in the middle of the day where we can be together, during lunch, the only time she's not working and I'm not doing anything. Right after, she goes back to the school, and I have to go to work.

When I walk inside the house, I hear her before I can see her. Ever since the doctor told her it was good for the baby, she doesn't stop singing around the house, whenever she's doing chores, when she's in the shower, even in the car. To me it's a blessing, her voice is so angelical. I only talk to him, because I think if I were to sing he'd hate me. She's so focused that she doesn't notice me until I'm right behind her, with my arms wrapped around her.

"Hi, baby." She says sweetly. Each time I leave the house I miss her, even though I know I have just seen her and will see her again in just hours. Whenever I come back home and hold her in my arms, absolutely everything feels perfect.

"Hi, love." I turn her around so I can finally kiss her, holding her face with my hands. What was supposed to be a soft, tender kiss, escalates quickly because of her. Suddenly, her hands grip at my waist, trying to pull me closer to her, and her tongue is inside my mouth. It takes me by surprise, so instead of playing along, I take a step back. "What was that?" I ask quietly, but I'm really only asking myself.

"I've had enough of you evading me, you're going to take me right here, and right now." She pushes me against the counter, holding me even tighter. Truth be told, I have been evading her for around a month now. Not because I don't want to be with her, but because it makes me nervous. I don't know how it would affect the baby, so, each time she tries to make a move on me, I put on an excuse.

"Now? We have to eat, you have to go to work, I-" But she doesn't let me finish the sentence. Her lips collide with mine, and begin their usual dance until I've lost track of time. I'm drunk enough on her to do whatever she wants, and I'd stay like that, but she decided to take me out of there by speaking.

"I can call in sick, that's no problem, and you can go to work a little late, can't you? I'll let you take my car." Convincing, but not enough.

"Babe, we can do this after I come home, I promise." And I mean it, for the first time in a while. All I want is a couple more hours to get mentally prepared for what is to come. I try to get her off me gently, but fail. Not that I mind much anymore.