Love. A Conor Maynard Love story.

Chapter 48

Anna's P.O.V

I kept it together through the whole flight back to Stockholm, for the whole taxi journey to the hotel, it wasn't until the door shut behind me that I broke down. My knees became weak and I slowly sank down to the floor in the rather empty hotel room, it was over. The thing I'd been so passionate about was no longer a thing. I'd left Conor behind in hope of making the process of getting over what we were easier, the two years we'd spent together was now a sad history that I now wish never happened. My parents had been right when they'd told me I shouldn't trust him, they'd known from the very start and I'd just not opened my eyes properly to realise that back then.

It wasn't unusual that things like this happened, relationships in the industry Conor's in is hard to maintain, especially for someone like me who isn't used to the mainstream attention. It had broke me down and I was now pictured as Conor Maynard's girlfriend, not as me as a individual person.

...........

The following days I just cry, I cry even though I haven't got any tears left to cry, still I continue. My heart was broken, you can't glue a shattered heart together with superglue and pretend that the thing that happened didn't effect you in the slightest. Because it did, it effected me more than you can ever imagine, the love of my life had done the unforgivable and it all happened over the span of a few hours, the whole world now knew about it, every single magazine is writing about how shit the person I love is for doing what he did.

It wasn't until a couple of weeks later that I actually managed to speak out about it, to put my version out there for people to share. Still it had been hard sitting in front of the camera having to tell the most heartbreaking news that I thought I'd never have to do, ever.

Conor still haven't posted anything about it, strangely I haven't heard from him at all since the evening before his big mistake. He'd continue to do his thing, working late and going out a lot, this I knew through Jack and just casually stalking him online. Not that I cared about him anymore, it had been his choice to do it there for he has to pay for the consequences that comes with it, in this case, me not being with him anymore. It was as simple as that. I missed him though, the way we got on so easily and how everything was so carefree between us, I loved him for what he really was, I still love him today, I think I'll always love that boy, always remember how good his hand fitted in mine, how his arm used to snake around me as soon as I got anxious. Now I was all on my own, doing my own thing back where it all began. Still it wasn't the same, I'd come back as a different person, the ex-girlfriend of Conor Maynard and from now on that would always be my label.

...........

Conor's P.O.V

I sigh as I see the red numbers on the digital clock that's stood on the desk in the studio. 04.12 a.m, I still hadn't slept a single minute since I got back from LA about two days ago now. Instead I'd been working harder, spending my sleepless nights in the studio recording and writing music. I hid in my work, making sure no-one noticed how bad I actually felt inside. How do you get over doing something like that, how do you forgive yourself for breaking someone's heart. I'd asked myself that question millions of times already, still I don't know the correct answer.

The laptop screen in front of me is the only source of light in the now completely dark room and I sigh, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I should go home, make a cup of tea and try to get some sleep but instead I keep my eyes on the screen, the segment I'd been working on for the last couple of weeks still being as undone as it was before I started.

Conor: You up?

Jack answer almost instantly and the few words he's sent seem to break my heart even more.

Jack: Yeah, I'm at Amy's though, anything important?

Apearantly he'd met this girl called Amy a long time ago but they'd just kicked it off and started to go out just under a few weeks ago now and it hurt seeing him happy, seeing him all in love when I was so broken myself.

Conor: Nahh just checking, still working anyway

I stare at my phone as he type his message, the three grey dots moving in sync as I watch the time on the digital clock once again. 04.33, I feel my body trembling inside, the way everything felt so heavy, how I'd gone from this carefree young popstar to an emotional wreck, the anxiety and depression always lurking in the back of my mind.

Jack: OK, just remember to tell me if you're feeling down or something, I'll always be here to listen

Sighing do I shut my laptop before placing it down in my black leather rucksack, checking that I've got the car keys before locking the studio door and leaving the building to go home.

The streets of London are all empty, just a couple of lost party goers wandering the pavements in hope to find their way home before the sunrise, it could've been me but I've stopped going out, now I just drink in my own company, where no-one can get hurt, no-one apart from myself. I'd lost count of the amounts of nights I'd spent on my own since it all ended, I always blamed me being busy, that I'd work to do and told them everything was fine, that I was alright and that they shouldn't be worrying.

Still that was all a lie, I missed going out with my friends, clubbing and drinking until the early hours of the morning, I even missed waking up hungover because back then it actually felt like it was worth it, that the fun you'd been up to the night before made the headache less painful.

Carefully do I check my surroundings, even though the time's almost five in the morning am I still scared to meet someone in public. It was crazy how much my fans understood about what I'm going through, still I'm not one to pray for help, I've always dealt with everything in my own loneliness.

Once the coast is clear do I quickly jog over to the other side of the road and in through the doors to my apartment complex. The consierge give me a small smile as I speed walk past the reception and over to the lift, I just nod back, my mouth in a strict line as the liftdoors close behind me.

An: So we're nearing the end of this long story, only a couple of chapters left until I'll finish it. 😱