Fading Howls (IN THE PROCESS OF MAJOR EDITING)

Me and My Stupid Guilt [Chapter 19]

 LILAC:

“What was that!?”

I helplessly sighed.

Lying back on the bed of snow.

“That was me and my stupid guilt.”

I fabricated remorse and regret.

Damian stands over me...

The exposed moon hurling mysterious crescent shapes into his irises...

Looking perturbed.

“I shouldn't have made you come with us...

I'm sorry, love.”

He needlessly apologizes.

Bumping my muzzle with his.

I notice there is a small but noticeable gash across it.

I hope it heals.

I don't respond...

The way he'd like me to.

“What are Draven and Autumn thinking?”

I catch a glimpse of the two of them talking with hunched backs and hushed tones as Damian uneasily shifts his weight.

“I consulted with them on the way back...

And they want to go back tomorrow morning....

But leave you behind.”

I nod.

Finding Damian's slightly-higher-than-normal pitch amusing.

“Do they think you've chosen a cowardly, soft hearted, idiot she-wolf as your mate?”

It relieves me that in the strangest times, like these, I can tease Damian...

And still be able to see that warm glimmer of love in his eyes.

My mate smiles.

Standing at a sideways angle...

So he can sneak a glance at the couple himself...

Who are now studying us with blunt curiosity.

“At first.”

Damian admits...

I can almost feel the pinch he suffers when he chews nervously on his lower lip.

“But, after I explained your relations to Snow, they were a bit more understanding.”

I snort.

A bit.

I already knew that I had a lot of impressing to do if I was to get back on Draven and Autumn's good tidings.

My eyes drift to the patch of spruce trees hiding Snow's invisible territory line..

Glistening with drizzled snowflakes spread over their never-dying “leaves”.

“I suppose your minds are made up then?”

Damian nods a little too quickly...

Leaving room for doubt.

A message broadcasting to me that he won't go if I absolutely don't want him to.

I stand with a groan...

I'm stiff to the bone.

“Bring us back a territory, Damian...

One we can be proud of.”

I optimisticly murmur into Damian's ear.

“And, when you kill Snow...”

I pause to taste how that stings my tortured tongue.

If only I could be brave enough to tell him the truth...

“Make it quick.”

Then, I retire into our den that will only fit two.

DAMIAN:

I watch her slink off into the darkness.

I want to escort her...

I need to protect her...

But I'm glued to this spot.

Entranced and concerned by the haunted visions in Lilac's eyes.

What had really happened?

Lilac wasn't the kind to have a docile, charitable heart.

I knew that when I mated with her.

But I loved her still.

What can I say?

She was my only.

And you don't care about your only's few flaws when there is so much more to adore.

My desire to gorge the truth from her memories, though, stained my affection for her.

She will tell you when she's ready, I calmly told myself.

And then I forced myself to press on...

For Lilac and I's future lives, I needed to make sure that, this time, the next fight went accordingly.