Here Goes Nothing

Chapter 5: A new start? How about no.

A/N: Finally I'm updating! Testing is over for me and yeah~ This chapter doesn't have much dialogue so get ready for a little bit (ok, maybe a lot LOL) of reading, haha. :3 It's mostly thoughts and kind of short, but enjoy! <3

Chris' POV.

After walking Carson to school, I took a long walk at the park. It's there that I realized I needed to get my shit together and do something with my life. Music was my life, I decided at that moment to put my full commitment into it. I was going to do this. I was going to make music, music that made me happy and hopefully other people as well. Might as well start now, getting kicked out of the house and everything.. Shit, maybe if it turned out good, my parents would be proud too.

But Carson.. Oh man.. Carson.. I like her so much.. If I leave, would I miss things up? I don't even know if she likes me.. Maybe it would be better to leave right this minute so I won't end up fucking things up with her. I probably would sooner or later so why not leave now? Get out of her life quick before I ruin something.. It's most likely bound to happen.

I had to leave now, just to get a new start on everything, so I went back to Carter's, got all my shit, called a friend and then.. Everything got real.

Carson's POV.

When I got home, I sort of hoped for Chris to be there. But I know he wasn't going to be, and as I walked into my room, my hopes were proven to be false. He, of course, wasn't there. I sat on my bed and sighed. I had no homework because being the over-achiever that I am, I had finished it all at school. I yawned, maybe I should take a nap.. So, I did. 

Waking up three hours later, I checked my phone and realized it might not have been a good idea.. I had gotten a text from Hayden saying that Chris had left.

'to where?!' I texted back.

'he juss left.. idk where 2. nobody knows yet'

'what.. why tho?'

'i dunno..'

I got up and slipped on my flipflops. Brushing my fingers through my hair, I went to the bathroom and checked my make up. I decided I looked decent and grabbed my phone, spare key, and put on a cardigan. My mom wasn't home so I scribbled  a quick note on a piece of paper, put it on the coffee table and left. I went straight to Hayden's house. He answered the door and we went up to his room.

"So, when did he leave?" I asked. 

"Carter said he went to his house at around 8 or 9.. He got all his stuff and left. He asked him where he was going and he just said he didn't know."

"What.. why would he say that?.. That doesn't even make any sense." 

"I know.. Shit.. I'm trying to think of where he'd go.. Hold on.. I'm gonna.. go call some people.."

Hayden left the room and I sat on his bed, wondering where this crazy kid could have gone once again. And why he would have left.. Especially after he just came to see me and spent the night at my house? I just wanted him to stay.. Stay with me.. I just wanted him. That was all.

And here he was, leaving again.. I was beginning to doubt that he even liked me in the first place. Why would he have left a second time? Was it because I did something wrong?.. I didn't understand and I wasn't sure if I even wanted to.

Chris' POV.

-1 month later-

Things were ok at the moment, I recorded a few demos with some friends and was pretty happy with them. Still have some more work to do. The only thing that was missing and that I wanted back was Carson. I couldn't stop thinking about her.. I haven't dared contact her since I left unexpectedly. When I said I wanted to get out of her life, I meant it. I don't want to ruin her life in any way at all so I'm trying really hard to keep myself from dialing her number and hearing that angelic voice. As much as I really really really fucking want to, I resist the strong urge. It's most likely better this way. I'm hoping I won't end up calling her or texting her on a sudden impluse.