THE BOAT TRIP: Stampy And Squid

Not a Lot of Mistletoe

--STAMPYS POV--
"Hey honey."
"Sorry to leave a voicemail.. Although I'm sure you, you probably don't want to speak to me at the moment."
"Courtney had a miscarriage. The baby is gone. I won't ever see Courtney again. Beth I need you. I really really need you."
"Please meet me in New Zealand. I've paid for the flights for you.. You don't have to come.. I'd just.. Really like to see you."
I put the phone down.
"She won't come." I murmured. Sitting on the bed.
"She might." David said, walking into the room.

David sat down beside me as the tide roared beneath us.
"What's being a dad like?" I asked him. Thinking of the father I could have been.
David opened his mouth,
"Don't worry, nothing you say will offend me."
"I don't know I'm not much of a dad." He said, lying on the bed.
"Give it time.'' I replied. Feeling awful.
I closed my eyes, lying on the bed beside him.
I rolled over in my side and looked on the window. It was after midnight.. Christmas Day.
Tears fell from my eyes as I watched us move along the sea in the dark night sky.
What have I done?

**

I woke up from the phone ringing. Me and David both looked at it, it was a face time from Harry Ardtole.
"For God's sake it's 6am!" David growled, quickly putting a blazer on over the t-shirt which he feel asleep in and moving his hair slightly.
"Good morning Mr Spencer." Harry said in his irritating, 19th century english accent.
"Morning Mr Ardtole." David replied as I quickly put on a shirt and tie.
"I hope your having a wonderful Christmas Eve! We've brought out new exclusive Christmas boat trip merchandise which we'd like you to do a photo shoot for."
"W-when?"
"In Auckland. When you get to New Zealand."
"Do you kind if I ask if you are in New Zealand right now?"
"No I am in Hampshire."
"Hampshire?" I intruded, that's where I live!
"Yes, Stampy, I have been interviewing Bethany Bates and we have been creating a documentary on you and your workspace."
"What?! You can't do that without my permission! That's my house!" I was disgusted with this new boss.
"Well who is the boss here? Me. Without me you wouldn't have all that money to buy what you have-"
"Excuse me I earned my money myself!"
"Please mind your tone of voice Joseph it really disheartens me."
I kept my mouth open wide. What else could I say?
"Mr Spencer what are you wearing under that blazer?"
"Nothing!" David said instantly,
"Nothing?!" Harry gasped,
"Oh- I mean, a t-shirt."
"Why? You should be wearing a plain white shirt and tie! I told you this!"
"It's 6am on Christmas Day! We just got up!" David exclaimed. "Imagine I said that without shouting." He sighed.
"Isn't one of you supposed to be driving the whole time."
"We have autopilot." I said, taking the phone off David as he got changed into a shirt and tie.
"And what if a cruise liner or a car ferry comes in your way?"
"We can hear them, it's happened before." I lied.
"I can't believe Courtney let you live like this.. typical women.."
"Excuse me?!" I argued.
"Well in Auckland we are going to have to do a lot of redesigning. First of all, physically, the name of your boat, Stampingsquid is firstly childish and in some ways can be seen as sexual."
Squid and I burst out laughing. "You can change the name but we're still calling it StampingSquid, mate." Squid intruded, laughing.
"We also need to change your attitude. You are millionaires and well known for your educational authority. You want people to know that. Speak well, I don't want to be called your 'mate'."
"Well I'm sorry love but I am neither a millionaire or well known for my 'educational authority' in fact I earn about two-hundred quid a day and pay half of it as taxes. People watch my videos because of me! I don't have a posh nineteenth century British accent! I'm from Yorkshire! I don't make educational videos I make fun ones!" David defended.. I bit my lip.. too far Dave..
"Then what exactly is the point of you?" Harry responded.
Both of us stayed silent. Unsure what to say to this man.
"You know you'd make a good politician." I said. Trying to change the topic. "You fight your point well, you just want money and you make people hate you."
Probably shouldn't have said that..
"Oh fuc-"

I hung up before this got any more awkward than it already was.

"Right so we are fired." David said. Sitting down.
"What makes you think I'm fired?" I asked,
"Well you just cursed in front of a man who wouldn't let me speak in my natural accent or wear a t-shirt."
"Fair point." I said, sitting down.
We both sighed.
"Well it's 6am, we've just been sacked and our families are a mess.. merry Christmas!"
I laughed while I yawned.
"Bloody hell I've just been sacked!" I laughed, "and the worst thing is I don't really give a shit!"
"I got you a Christmas present by the way mate." David said, opening the cupboard.
"What, in there?" I asked, confused.
He threw a small box at me and one bigger one.
"Right.." I said, tearing open some red wrapping paper I assume he had borrowed from Lily.
I opened up the small box first: it was a phone!
"Technically Courtney should've bought you that because I threw your last one in the water because she faked her death but- y'know. Oh, I upgraded you to an iPhone 7. Couldn't afford the 7+, well.. yes I could but I don't really care about you."
"Aww mate! What the heck you're amazing!" I said, hugging him. "And you bought me another thing?" I looked at the other slightly bigger present.

"This one.. this means a lot to me." David said, he looked emotional. "You and I.. we knew each other before we went on this trip but.. but now I feel like we're connected." He took my hands. "What I have given you will cherish, we can cherish it for the rest of our lives..."
I was so curious.. I opened the present.
"Only joking mate it's a box of chocolates."
I laughed, "I was starting to think it was a pregnancy test."
"Yeh mate I'm pregnant." He laughed. Taking a chocolate out of the box and throwing it in his mouth.
"I got you something too, I was doing some online shopping while I was sitting alone in that bloody hospital ward. I was sceptical about this, but y'know.. we can't play songs here for copyright reasons.. so.. I just thought.."
I handed him a big cardboard box.
"The hospital didn't have wrapping paper so I kept it in the Amazon packaging, sorry." I laughed, David opened it.
"Oh my god a keyboard!" His mouth dropped, "we can actually play music! Actual music!"
He took the keyboard out of the box and placed it on the bed, plugging it into the mains. He switched it on then played a chord.
"My god it's like I never stopped!" His smile was bigger than his face- he was ecstatic.
"This is like Christmas!" He laughed,
"It is Christmas mate!" I replied.
"Oh yeh, whoops!" He responded, before starting to improvise something on the piano. I hadn't seen him happier in a long time.