Tough Skin

A Short Anecdote by beautlies

A SHORT ANECDOTE by beautlies

I have always been thin. Normal enough to be unnoticed by society when it came to weight, except for the times, some people called me too skinny. But if I say I've been pressured, I would be lying. Therefore, this story isn't about me but about an old friend, a middle school friend to be exact, who was overweight and who had been the victim of people in my class.

Sadly enough, her body was the reason why I noticed her in the first day of school. Among others, she just stood out. When you're fifteen, you don't often put yourself into others' shoes. That's why I didn't notice how tired she felt about her body, about the sick jokes or the stares until we actually became close in the middle of the semester.

Outside, she was quiet and she tried not to attract attention but when you actually talked to her, she was funny, smart and beautiful. It's sad that we usually don't see that—if someone doesn't have a body like a model, we think they are not beautiful. We don't try to see them as a person and we often ignore them. Even the best of us does and even people in this situation do. I saw many people who were just as overweight as her talk behind her back about how ugly she was. That's really sick.

Soon enough, we were best friends and I tried to defend her whenever someone joked about her weight or called her fat but that wasn't enough to keep her safe. Among the looks, among those eyes people cast on her, she didn't feel safe. And one day, she started to starve herself.

Sometimes she would spend a day with only an apple and she wouldn't eat whenever I asked her to. We would go to Burger King and she would order a salad or nothing at all. At that time, I thought her determination was admirable. Of course, this was a good move for her health, too, and she started to lose weight. She lost a lot of weight in a short time and she was fit.

I was happy for her because people could no longer call her fat or bully her. In fact, people started to notice her in a different way, she was suddenly a part of their groups and friends with people who called her names before. That was the time I realized humans are really cruel and they only care about appearance.

This little story about this girl changed my life. In a completely different way. A few months later, I started high school and two months later, a new guy transferred to our class. It was like a similar scenario was playing on—he was overweight but this time, he was lively and considerably smart. He quickly became one of the best students in class and that was how we actually met. I was a nerd in high school. We often helped each other with math problems and other stuff.

In between, we also had a chance to talk about other stuff like politics, sports, etc and we sometimes walked back home together because he said his house was nearby. His appearance started to fade away and his personality dominated my opinions about him. My friends were asking me why I was spending much time with him and all I did was a shrug. They found it ridiculous—a girl like me wouldn't work a boy like him just because of the huge gap between our weights. I would tell them we were friends—that we were—but I didn't find the idea of dating him too absurd. I found people sick, in fact.

In the following summer, he confessed to me that he liked me. When I thought about it, I decided—I knew—we would work out because he was talkative, funny and I never got bored of him whenever we talked. The only problem was his weight but after spending a lot of time together, it wasn't a problem to me at all.

When I announced my friends that we were dating, they were shocked. Not in a good way. They told me it was sick and asked if I were insane. How could I date someone who was fat? There were some other guys they expected me to date instead and when I told them they weren't as smart or funny as my boyfriend, they would scoff at me. This lasted for months and months and even caused me to break it off with some friends.

I didn't regret it a bit. Our relationship was great. He was good to me and I didn't get bothered by his weight at all. However, that winter he decided to lose some weight for his health, mostly, but I knew, deep down, he was tired of the pressure on him to the society. It was sad but still his decision. In less than six months, he was already fit.

People started to call us it couple. Those people who told me not to date him started to fangirl over us. That was sick and I didn't find them genuine at all but I was glad that my boyfriend reached his goal. He didn't change to me—he was still that smart, funny guy I liked.

Now, I think, if I listened to those friends who disagreed, I wouldn't have been happy. I wouldn't have been with my boyfriend who stuck with me through thick and thin, and I couldn't have spent my life with the guy that I love. Just because of his body. Just because of that extra weight that he lost.

Life isn't constant—it goes on and changes. People can gain or lose weight. Some people lack their organs from birth or lose them in accidents.  Just because you're healthy now doesn't mean you will be healthy forever. Be thankful for what you have and accept people as they are. Their bodies are just facades—they don't reflect them. Look deeper, look inside. If someone lets you peek in, you can't be luckier.

Lastly, I want to thank Ellie for Tough Skin, this amazing project that raises awareness about insecurities and that they are acceptable. I don't think there is one person who isn't insecure about themselves in some aspects and that is pretty normal. We should doubt ourselves at times, this is what will let us improve. Whenever you doubt yourself, just try harder but also know that you're beautiful. Don't change for others.

Know that someone out there will accept you as you are.

Stay safe,
Sevval (@beautlies)

This beautiful and amazing piece is by Sev, truly a stunning writer and person.