Tough Skin

Thirty Years Pregnant by A. V. Geiger

Thirty Years Pregnant
By A. V. Geiger (adam_and_jane )

I used to think I had a healthy body image. I spent my teen years obsessing about my acne and the size of my nose, but my weight was not a huge source of angst. I figured I had good self-esteem...

(Haha. Yeah right.)

My only body issue was a flat chest and a tummy that stuck out farther than my boobs. I always looked at least one month pregnant, no matter what I ate or how many crunches I did. I couldn't change it (not without surgery), so I learned to pick clothes cut in flattering shapes. It only really bothered me when I went to the beach and stayed covered up all day, while other girls with nice cleavage ran around in bikinis.

Then I got older. Met a guy. Fell in love. Got married. None of that changed how I felt about my shape. Not until I got pregnant with twins. For me, maternity was the big wake up call, when I realized how "body negative" I really was.

It's kind of amazing when you're pregnant. First of all, I went up a couple cup sizes, but that wasn't even the best part. Suddenly everything flipped. Body expectations were reversed. I was supposed to gain weight and "eat for multiples." My tummy was supposed to stick out farther than my boobs. In fact, the bigger it got, the more random strangers smiled and complimented me and asked me when I was due.

Awesome!

For the first time in my life, I liked my body. I was proud of it. I remembering shopping in the maternity section and feeling overwhelmed by the choices. I could buy any piece of clothing in the store. Didn't matter if it emphasized my mid-section. My mid-section was my best feature!

It was then that I realized how much mental energy I had expended over the years on buying certain clothes, avoiding certain cuts. All to hide a shape that was completely natural for me. Body positive? Not so much.

Eventually, I gave birth. My boobs deflated most of the way. My stomach stuck out worse than ever. Six weeks postpartum, I went to the OBGYN for my check-up, and someone in the waiting room asked me when I was due.

Ouch.

Body image is a beast. I can't remember what I responded to that person. Probably laughed on the outside, died on the inside. But I know what I should've said. Maybe someday I'll have the self-esteem to pull it off.

I should've said: "Thanks. Don't I look great? I'm finally happy with my body! And it's only 30 years overdue."

This personal, humourous and inspirational post was written by A. V. Geiger accompanied by a photo of herself that we can all safely say she looks beautiful in.