spellbound | book #1 | completed

L I V

[edited: 04/06/2018]

Remy had never felt as tired as she did now. She had barely managed to stand in the shower and get herself dressed afterwards without collapsing, and then there was the emotional exhaustion, more crushing than any physical ailment. She had barely been able to talk to Sarah, with the only word that she was able to conjure up at all being sorry. She could not erase the image of her friend's face, how she had looked so disappointed and so angry, how she had said nothing back to her no matter how much Remy tried, until eventually she asked for her to leave her alone and Remy felt she had no choice but to obey. She wondered if Sarah would ever forgive her for what she had done.

She felt like a zombie as she walked down the corridor towards Maksim's room, staring blankly at the flickering lights and patterned walls, her eyes blurring and her knees aching with every step, until finally she reached her destination. She didn't know why she was going to his room and not her own, only that her feet were taking her there and she did not have the strength to argue with them.

She did not knock before she entered and soon realised this was a mistake; Maksim was pulling on a clean shirt, and his entire torso was on display, his skin translucent in the lamplight. Remy couldn't help but blush, her heart racing at the sight of him. He was just as toned as he looked, his muscles so lean and taut that they looked as though they had been carved out of stone. Even full of blisters and burns caused by Nil Lake, he was beautiful. It made her question if the kiss they had shared earlier had even happened, though her lips still tingled with the memory of it.

"I didn't realise that warlocks had gyms," she said by way of breaking the tension, perching on the edge of his bed uncomfortably.

"If you are referring to my astonishing physique," he responded, tugging his t-shirt down quickly, "I am inclined to tell you that it is naturally perfect, just like every other aspect of me, though of course we have gyms. We have eternal life. One is driven to exercise from time to time."

Remy smiled, but it did not quite meet her eyes. She was still worrying about Sarah and Ackmard, and all of the other things she had to think about; her family in the Mortal World, the key, what would happen next, and of course, Maksim. She looked down at her fidgeting hands, feeling the bed sink down under Maksim's weight next to her.

"Remy," he sighed quietly, and even the sound of him saying her name caused her heart to flutter, particularly since she had thought she might never hear him say it again after he had pulled her out of the lake. "She will forgive you. Please forgive yourself."

"I can't." She shook her head, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes again and this time having no energy to hide them. "What kind of friend am I, Max? What kind of person am I to just abandon her like that, without sparing even one thought for her?"

"I wish that you would give yourself a little bit more credit." He took her hand the way that he had in the Central Hall, the pad of his thumb tracing light circles into her skin. His touch felt like electricity, and Remy half-expected for it to leave a permanent scar behind. "You almost died for the sake of that abominable key, and for all of the people it would endanger here if it was to fall into Ackmard's hands. You cannot punish yourself for not saving one person, not when you have done so much to save others, not when this is not even your world to protect in the first place.

"Besides," he dropped her hand quickly, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest with a stern expression, "it is my job to be angry with you, not yours."

Panic bubbled in her as he narrowed his eyes, and she could almost feel the coolness radiating from him. "I'm sorry. It's my fault you were hurt. I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself—"