(Sherlock x Reader) Never trust those who are never truthful

Chapter 9 - Body Composition

The only thing that was currently keeping you from going entirely insane was your work. It was holding you together by only one tiny thread of thought, the thought of light. Light at the end of the tunnel. There was a way you could get out of this situation you were sure and that was by saying no to Sherlock Holmes. Of course it wasn't because of him, the idea of being in a relationship with him just made you feel uncomfortable. Plus the fact that you weren't sure you were ready to have a relationship with anyone, let alone someone you had only known for just over a month. It was ridiculous anyway, what man would ever love you? Especially such a phenomenal man such as himself? You decided to take your mind off it, you could deal with that later.

Rip. Rip. Rip.

You weren't always violent but when you were you were vicious. That's why you didn't want to get close to him, you might end up hurting him. You did have gaps in your memory. Mostly when you were stressed or had been given an order. This order in particular had been given over a week ago, even before the dinner. You were reluctant to take it though, it held personal value to you. You didn't however want anyone else to take this victory from you, this was yours. Your reluctancy stopped as soon as your boss told you to either do it today or you wouldn't get it at all. You also took it because of the need to get out of the apartment, more so after that conversation. You'd rather have forgotten it ever happened except your thoughts kept on wandering back. They had never been this disobedient before, you could always keep your mind on task before, before he came along anyway.

Stitch. Stitch. Stitch.

This work was becoming more tedious as you went on. As were your thoughts. Your stitches were starting to become sloppy, your boss would not be pleased. He always expected flawless work from you and you were starting to disappoint. Not good enough.

Squelch. Squelch. Squelch.

Not the most pleasant of jobs, but you weren't squeamish and it paid the bills. Maybe that's why you were selected for it. This time though you felt as if you were going to give away your work away a lot sooner than intended by screaming. This was a big inconvenience. You did not want that to happen again, you were nearly caught last time you made a sloppy mistake.

Clunk.

That sound wasn't made by you. Shit. You thought this place was abandoned. Evidently not, someone had found you. You wouldn't be able to finish, you hated not finishing. This was the epitome of annoyance. You packed up quickly, removed your gloves and left everything else. You didn't really care if they found evidence, there wasn't much anyway and if they did find evidence against you, well you'd just have to cope.

"Bye bye," you said to the work you were doing and left. Regrettably though, it meant that you had to return to the flat and actually give an answer to Sherlock. Not exactly something you felt you were prepared for at that moment. You needed more time. Why was it that you were always rushed into making decisions you weren't exactly sure of yet? At least with yourself you always knew where you were, mind and body. With others you could never be sure, they were never clear and it frustrated you so much. People were never easy to read, but it was always easy to follow orders and that's what you were best at. So you obeyed, didn't ask questions and got on with you work. That way your mind didn't question people and make you have unwanted headaches.

---

Sherlock had been sulking a little after he had shoved your wardrobe out of the way of the door and had found an empty room. Maybe he was wrong about what you thought about him, he always knew what people were thinking. But with you, it was different. he just couldn't tell what was truth and what was a lie. He sighed heavily as he sat on your bed. As soon as he admitted to having an error because of you, you scampered away, yet again avoiding uncomfortable questions that you would rather not answer. He didn't really know how to react to rejection, he was almost sure that you would say yes. Maybe it was just his imagination. You had been ignoring him for just over a week as well so what did he exactly expect? You to immediately cuddle up to him as soon as he confessed his feelings? Of course not, he was stupid to even assume something like that. But maybe he was just so desperate to be noticed that his mind had perhaps faked the emotions? But how would that explain his heart missing a beat when you were near? Or how he blushed when you held hands? Or all of the other things?