funny jokes to use on people or for cheap laughs

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This a story that will give u different jokes/funny comments/and other funny things u can use on a friend, enemies, and other people or just use for cheap laugh.

1. when playing tag and some one tag you and say"Tag! Your it!" say this"Screw you! I'm not playing anymore!" Then run away.

2. when your friend say you cant fly tell them this -"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

 3.This is advise from your trusted author me 

-If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

4.This is a true story don't laugh(jk laugh all u want)

 -After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."(no speak English)

5.-What do you call dog with no legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

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a/n that is it. it will get better hopefully. i will do five jokes a chapter. My girlfriend told me to do this.

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