You Can't Cuddle With A Zombie (Old Verison)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

~Ella~

"We found these in a desk downstairs," Jake said, waving a piece of paper in my face.

I blinked a couple of time before the paper came into focus.

I yawned as I took the paper from his hands.

"What is this?" I asked, completely confused.

"Well," Jake said, "at first we thought it was a suicide note from the dude downstairs."

Oh yeah, the body.

"But then," Lizzie said, coming out of nowhere, "we actually read it."

I looked at the paper read it outloud.

"I know what upu did." I looked at them, "I don't get it."

"Ella think about it," Ricky said, "What kind of suicide note is that?"

I looked at it.

"It's not."

He smiled. "Exactly. He didn't commit suicide. He was killed."

I sighed. "Look guys, I don't really have time to deal with this."

"Ella," Alyssa said. "You haven't slept in three days."

"I'll sleep when Jeremy gets better," I said, washing the rag I had in my hands.

"If he gets better," I heard Jake say. Alyssa whacked him in the stomach. "I mean when he gets better," he corrected, faking a smile.

I rolled my eyes but I knew he was right. Jeremy wasn't getting any better.

He was getting worse.

Way worse.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" I said, looking at Ricky with a raised eyebrow.

"Aren't you suppose to be sleeping?" he mocked.

I narrowed my eyes at him and walked right past him, holding a bowl of cold water.

"We're worried about you, Ella!" I heard Alyssa yell.

"I'm not the one you should be worried about," I yelled as I went upstairs.

I opened the door to Jeremy's room quietly.

He was still sleeping. He slept a lot, unlike me. Because every time I tried to, I ended up having nightmares.

Of Jeremy dying.

I walked over to the bed and kneeled in front of him.

He looked so peaceful.

I took the rag out of the cold water, squeezed it, and pressed against his forehead. He still had a fever and his body shook as he slept. I wished I knew what was wrong. I looked at his leg. He wouldn't let me look at it. He'd said it was useless. I bit my lip.

He was sleeping and couldn't stop me. I quietly crawled over to the end of the bed.

I needed to see how bad it was.

I was about to reach for it when a voice stopped me.

"Don't," Jeremy said, his voice soft and dry.

I automatically snapped my hands back.

"I just wanted to look at it," I said defensively.

I made sure my eyes didn't meet his.

"I told you it was useless," he said as he coughed.

"You don't know that," I pointed out. "Maybe if I can see how deep it is I can-"

"You can what?" he challenged.

I looked at the ceiling. Yeah, what could I do?

"I could help," was all I could think of.

"And why do you want to help me?" he said, pulling himself up.

"Careful," I said, still not looking him in the eye.

"You still didn't answer my question," he said, crossing his arms.

He was playing me. I knew he was.

"I don't want you to die, Jeremy. Is that what you want to hear?"

"You know what I want you to say."

I didn't say anything. I just played with hands.

"Why won't you look me in the eyes when you talk to me?"

That's it.

"If you need anything I'll be downstairs."

I got up and headed for the door.

"Ella, no, wait-"

I didn't stop until I was on the other side of the door.

I could take this anymore.

The guilt was eating me alive.

I leaned against the door and stood there for a while, closing my eyes.

My fault.

All my fault.

I had repeated those words to myself every day for three days. I thought of every possible way I could have done things differently. But it didn't matter because I couldn't change what had happened.

He's gonna die and it's all my fault.

And I couldn't even look him in the eyes and say I was sorry because that would be accepting the fact he was dying.

And I wasn't going to give up yet.

I didn't know how long I was standing there. I didn't know how long I cried.

I didn't even notice Alyssa coming up the stairs.

"Ella," she said.

The minute I heard her voice I ran to her and hugged her, crying on her shoulder.

"I hate this," I said, in between sobs. I was letting everything out. Everything I had held inside was coming out. If I didn't tell someone I might explode. "I don't want him to die, Alyssa. But I don't know what to do."

"Ella, you're not alone here. I don't want him to die either. He's the only family I've got. But you know how you can help him?"

I pulled away so I could look at her through my watery eyes.

"What?"

"Take care of yourself."

Ugh. I knew where this was going.

"Ella, you need to sleep," she said, a worried look on her face.

"Sleep isn't the answer," I snapped.

"How do you know? Maybe you're not thinking right because you haven't rested."

I bit my lip. She had a point.

"And you'll wake me up in an hour?" I asked in a low voice.

I hated giving in, but I suddenly realized how tired I was. She smiled. A smile I hadn't seen since she had talking to Dominic on the helicopter.

"Promise," she said, letting go of my wrist.

I walked down the hall but stopped.

"You'll call me if something happens, right?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Ella. Now go!"

The minute I hit that pillow, I fell asleep.