Everything is so good right now. I have a man who loves me for everything that I am. I've told him so much about me and I've shown him all my scars, both physical and mental. He makes me so happy and all he wants is for me to be happy. I feel so safe and comfortable with him, and he makes me laugh even when I'm going through one of my sad periods, and he never gives up on me even when I give up on myself. I know he loves me, and I've known that for a couple months, but I have yet return the words, mostly because he only tells me when he's drunk and I want to tell him when the time is right. I know I've only been with him for four months now, but there's honestly moments where I can see myself marrying him. I can't see myself without him and I crave being with him all the time. It got to the point the last few weeks of school that I was basically living with him in his room. I spent every night with him and I didn't sleep in my own room for the last five weeks of school. Now that school is out and I can't be with him everyday, I am beginning to miss his arms around me and his unsuspecting kisses. I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone for two months for the summer.
Sometimes I still wonder if you think about me and if you have moved on. I know you said it would be hard and you didn't think you were ready, but I still wonder.
And a fun update, my parents are going through a nasty divorce and I feel terrible for my brother because he's been having to live through it during the hardest time of his life; middle school. But luckily, it means that basically no one is living at my house so my boyfriend and I get a lot of alone time which is nice since we don't get that as much as we did in college.
"You give me a feeling that I've never felt before, And I deserve it, I know I deserve it. It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore, It is what we make it. I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby, if we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy? Or would it be so beautiful?Either way I'm sayin' If you ask me, I'm ready."
