Focal Enemy | ✔

Repentance (sincere regret or remorse)

“It seems like so long ago now that you joined us.” Joe gave Theodore a sad smile. “And, now you’re leaving. Just know that we’re always your family, Theodore. Your worries are ours. You’re always welcome. Let us know if you need anything.”

Theodore smiled as he shut the boot of his car. “Thank you, Joe, for everything. I’ll visit. I’m sorry that I won’t be around for the wedding. Good luck to you and the new Mrs Garth.”

“It was a pleasure to have you with us, Theodore. You’ll be missed.”

“As will you,” admitted Theodore. “And, everyone else as well. I just need my own place. I think I’m ready to return to full independence. I’ve got myself a good job lined up and you’ve set me up with Nolan. Don’t worry about me. Let me know if you need anyone done back here, won’t you?”

It was funny really. Theodore had never wanted to replace his father, but if any man come close, it would be Joe. He genuinely worried for the man. Nobody would be taking advantage of him. Not if Theodore had anything to do with it.

“I can take care of myself, Theo.”

Deep down, Theodore knew that.

“I know,” he said. “I’ll see you soon, Joe.”

#

Time was ticking slowly. It had been hours – maybe even days – after Lucas’ funeral, and nothing had changed. Nothing had occurred. At least, Theodore hadn’t heard anything. He was still living, breathing, sitting on the bathroom floor, and that counted for a lot.

Josephine, with her big, shining eyes, had long since left. Theodore assumed she’d be at her parents’ now, eating ice cream with her hair tied up in a mess, crying her life away over the mistakes only he had made.

Theodore sipped his beer. His reflection on the opposite wall was different than it had been just days ago. There was nothing attractive about him. Not anymore. His eyes were red, his pupils smaller than dots, and his hair hadn’t been combed since the funeral. His face, usually clean shaven, was gradually being engraved with tiny, blonde little hairs, and he was colourless – paler than a sheet of paper. It made him wonder what Josephine had possibly seen in him at all.

Lonely, penniless and without a home was all he had been when they first met. The polar opposite of her rich, beautiful self who had the golden glow of a guardian angel. She deserved the world, bar her childish mistakes. There was nothing she did not deserve, and yet, out of all the people in the world, she had chose him.

Yes, maybe Theodore had given her more riches and all the love he could summon, which was practically none. In the end, he had left her with nothing. He’d left her just as alone as he had been the first time she said hello to him. At least she had had hope and optimism back then. It was more than she had now. Theodore had snatched it from her like a thief in the dark.

Theodore did not deserve her tears. He had taken advantage of all she had given him and gave her nothing that money could not buy. Every piece of anger he felt about his parents’ death and his abandonment, he had taken out on her more times than he could count. Josephine was not to blame for anything. He had left that candle burning – the one that had killed his parents. He had killed them. And, Josephine? Josephine had not even known him back then. All she had done was try to help, ever since he told her about the fire and the way Charlie had left him on the streets. Josephine had tried to help him through it. It was more than even Charlie had done.

The bottle shattered in the palm of Theodore’s hand, glass piercing through his skin. His hands, bloody as ever, found their way to his face. How could he have been so stupid?