Hannah and Clay: Stick With Me Kid

Chapter 1

                 

Clay's P.O.V

The Cresmont was quiet. It always felt quiet without Hannah. Without her laugh, even her smile seemed to make everything... everything better. I didn't understand. I couldn't understand. Did I hurt her? Should I have stayed? She hadn't called or texted in days and she was avoiding me in school too. I missed her a lot. Everything seemed darker when she wasn't around. I was wiping the counter tops when I saw a piece of gum under the desk. I knelt down to scrape it off and when I knelt back up, Hannah's uniform was on the counter. Neatly folded with her name badge resting on top of her tie. She was walking away out the door, just like I did to her. It was awful. Not having her say hi or even wait for me to see her before she left, she just walked out and the quiet and darkness fell back over the Cresmont. I watched her walk onto the street and I saw something small fall out of her back pocket but she didn't notice, she just kept walking. I jogged towards the street to give it to her but when I got to the door she was getting in her car and she drove straight ahead. The sun hit my face as I opened the door and I had to squint but I walked to the object and picked it up. It had small grey cardboard packaging and as I flipped it over the packaging read: Razor blades. What did Hannah need with razor bla-. I stopped myself and felt my whole body go numb. "Hannah" I whispered, my eyes as wide as they could go. I dropped the packet on the floor and sprinted to my bike. I patted my pockets desperately trying to find the key for my bike chain. "Shit". My key was in my jacket inside. I burst through the doors of the cinema running towards the peg that my hoodie was hanging from. Rustling through my pockets, I felt like my hand was in Mary Poppins bag. The pocket felt so deep it would just go on for ever. I finally felt the metal scrape my skin and I ran back out to my bike. I frantically flicked through the keys hanging from my key ring dropping them on the floor at least three times. As I unlocked the chain I could imagine how close Hannah would be to her house by now and I could only pray she hadn't bought another packet. I swung my leg over my bike seat and peddled faster than I had ever gone before, tracking the route that would lead me to Hannah and I begged she would be breathing when I got to her.

Hannah's P.O.V

"Some of you cared. None of you cared enough and neither did I." I unzipped my backpack pulling out the tape recorder and stopping the recording. There was a few things I had to get in order and I walked out the school doors for the last time, glancing at my locker and then at Clay's. I shook my head and left Liberty High with a heavy bag full of tapes and a heavy heart full of pain. I drove to Tony's first, depositing the package on his front door. I lingered for a little while, half hoping he would come out and ask me what was going on and half hoping he wouldn't be home for hours. He didn't come so I didn't stay. I got back in the car and drove to the Cresmont. I knew Clay would be there but I couldn't look at him. I couldn't see him knowing how much he hated me. Knowing how much confusion and anger I inflicted on him at Jessica's. I parked a few yards down from the cinema and I could see him. Stood at the desk, awkwardly standing waiting for someone to come in on the hottest day of the year. He looked different. He looked grey. Darker almost. I couldn't bare to watch him anymore so I stepped out the car with my uniform in hand and a rushed into the Cresmont reminded of the various smells that Clay once told me fascinated him. I wouldn't cry. I put my uniform down and walked out as fast as I could. He didn't stop me either. "Bye Helmet" I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek. I got in the car and I drove away from the only boy I've ever really loved, the boy that I wished loved me too.

Clay's P.O.V

I swerved passed cars, the multiple horns merely white noise in my screaming brain. My legs where like propellers on a helicopter as I passed the park and down my own street passing my house and leaning forward desperately trying to reach her before it was too late. How could I let this happen? The girl of my dreams could be dying somewhere and I didn't tell her I loved her when I got the chance. I didn't hold her, I didn't let her cry on my shoulder. I just left her in that room to cry
on her own. I didn't even ask why she was upset. I just left her. I could see her now in her house. I was sure she would be there by now. I was crying and panting, so mad at myself and so determined to get to her.

Hannah's P.O.V

I pulled into my drive way and took the key out of the ignition. I pushed my head back and looked up at the ceiling of my car letting out a deep sigh. I got out and walked towards the front door, fumbling with my keys before letting myself in. My parents wouldn't be home for at least another two hours, I had time. I headed up the stairs and into my bedroom. I made my bed, collected the dirty clothes from the floor and threw them in the laundry. I lay on my bed and felt the linen on my skin. I thought of how good it would feel when I couldn't feel anymore. When I could get rid of the pain I was in. When I could be free. But I also thought of Clay. He was the only thing tethering me to the real world. The only thing tempting me to stay. I couldn't think like that though. "You don't deserve him Hannah" I told my self. "Look at you, you would ruin him". I got up and walked to the bathroom. I turned the tap on and let the water fill the bath. I felt my pockets to pull out the blades. I pulled out one small grey box. "I could have sworn I bought two" I thought. It didn't matter. I got in the tub with my clothes weighing me down and I cried.

Clay's P.O.V

I could see Hannah's house. It was so close but I felt like I wasn't moving despite peddling so fast to get there. The wind howled in my ears and my eyes streamed. The house was slowly growing closer and my heart pounded like a drum in my body. I reached her drive, swerving my bike onto the gravel and falling to the side and hitting the floor. I pulled myself up from the ground and ran to her door. I burst through the door and ran inside. "HANNAH" I screamed "HANNAH please" I choked on my tears, scaling the stairs four at a time I ran to her room but she wasn't their and I could see the light filtering from the bottom of the bathroom door. I tried the handle but it was locked. "HANNAH!" I pounded on the door screaming her name every time. "Hannah please. Please I need you Hannah. If you leave me my life might as well be over too. I am so sorry that I left you. I am so sorry if I hurt you but I would never do anything to cause you pain. Hannah... Hannah I will never leave you again, if you let me in I will never not be holding you hand and I will never not be trying to make you smile because... because I love you Hannah Baker. I'm in love with your laugh, I'm in love with your eyes and your heart and the way you talk." I could hear her crying inside the bathroom "HANNAH!" I screamed, punching the door again, causing my knuckles to bleed. I pressed my head against the door "Please Hannah please open the door".

Hannah's P.O.V

I opened the box of blades and took one out. I held it for a little while, hesitating slightly but I eventually made up my mind. I held it in my right hand and lifted my left wrist I went to make the first cut but I heard the door slam downstairs. At first I panicked because I thought it was my parents but then I heard the voice. It was Clay. I heard him shouting my name and he was crying. He got to the bathroom door and he tried to get in. I didn't know what to do. I thought I wanted to die. I thought he didn't want me but here he was coming to save me. But then I remembered. I remembered the person I am and the person he is. The damaged bitch that I have become and the gentle, kind guy that Clay was. I didn't deserve him. I went to make the cut again but then he said it. "I love you Hannah Baker" he was crying so I cried and I put the blade down. He shouted again and I couldn't move. He was sobbing and so was I and his words echoed in my head. "I love you too." I thought. I climbed out the bath and ran to the door. I turned the lock, my clothes dripping wet forming puddles on the floor. I swung open the door and saw his tear drenched face and fell into his chest. He put his face into my neck unscathed by the fact i was soaking wet and we both crumpled to our knees on the floor. He held me so tightly yet so gently. I felt so safe and I cried into his hoodie breathing raggedly he took one arm off my body and found my hand, his fingers slotting into mine. "I am never going to leave you again Hannah" he choked out. I pulled away from him and whispered "I love you Helmet" He put both his hands on my cheeks and his lips connected with mine. He saved me and my life seemed so suddenly worth living again.