A/N - Sorry for the short chapters (if anyones reading them), this chapter has changed from how I planned it but it fits how I feel right now. Expressing my emotions through writing stories is the only other way I let everything out when I dont cut and right now cutting hasnt even helped in the slightest so the chapter now reflects my feelings. Something along these lines was due to come later in the story but I decided to bring it in earlier.
Sorry about my little rant, not that anyone cares but here you go.
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Chapter 6
*Niall’s P.O.V*
I can’t believe what I just saw! I had to get out of there! I thought Harry loved me! Yet here he is, in the arms of Louis! LOUIS! How the hell can I compete with him? He’s got everything! A gorgeous face, a fit body, a perfect voice, amazing hair and he can play football! Then there’s me, a pale, ugly kid who can’t sing, has a horrible accent and everyone hates! I don’t even know where I’m heading too, I just keep walking until I see a busker. Luckily he agrees to sell me his guitar, I pay him and head off to the local chemist, its quiet out so luckily I don’t get spotted. After I’ve got what I need, I head to the one spot where all this got more complicated, that fountain. Thankfully it’s also quite deserted here too. I sit down on the edge of the fountain and start to strum the guitar, playing the chords that have become so familiar to me over the past few months, the lyrics, fitting perfectly.
I won’t try to bring you down about my suicide
Got no need to understand about my big surprise
I won’t beg to hang you up about my love of life
If you promise not to sing about the reasons why,
I am writing you a letter
Getting better
Can I see you?
When,
All the lights go out together
Blame the weather
Yeah the cold again
In the darkness for a second
I am sure I see them smiling then
I feel them calling me
Yeah they are calling me
And I am falling through the stars
You remember now?
Yeah I am falling in their arms
You remember how?
Oh I am falling through the sky
You remember this?
I am falling in their eyes
You remember the kiss?
I won’t try to pull you in about my sacrifice
Makes no sense to get upset about the other side
I won’t beg to put you out about my right to die
If you promise not to sing about the reasons why
I am calling you at midnight
Feeling alright, can I tell you?
When?
On the line, no sound but my words
Must be night, birds on the wire again
In the silence for a second
I am sure I hear them laughing then
I feel them calling me
Yeah they are calling me
I am falling through the stars
You remember now
Yeah, I am falling in their arms
You remember how
I am falling through the sky
You remember this
I am falling in their eyes
You remember the kiss
“We know”
They said
“You’re holding on
To nothing left of something gone”
“We know”
They said
“In letting go
Of fear and dread
And all you know
You’ll lose the need for certainty
And make-believe eternity
To find the true reality
In beautiful infinity”
But I won’t try to bring you down about my suicide
If you promise not to sing about the reasons why
I set the guitar down and took the bottle from my pocket, unscrewing the lid, surprisingly I was quite calm considering these were to be my final minutes on Earth. If Harry doesn’t love me, nobody does. I keep repeating the thought in my head as I tilt my head back and swallow the entire contents of the bottle. I lie back against the wall surrounding the fountain and as my eyes start to close, I smile, knowing that I will finally be free of the hurt. Hopefully this time no-one will find me.
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The song is The Reasons Why by The Cure
