Tevun-Krus #50

Orangepunk - @elveloy

"Orangepunk" originally appeared in Tevun-Krus #20: WattPunk

Note from elveloy, the author: I wanted to write something entertaining, featuring a few of the issues (at the time) about wattpad, and everything coloured orange (of course). Some stories take me ages to come to grips with but this one just jumped off the keyboard (or possibly out of the webcam...). To the best of my knowledge, this was the first 'wattpunk' story ever written, the very first in a new and burgeoning sub-genre.

Note from MadMikeMarsbergen, who selected the story: I knew from the get-go I would be picking one of elveloy's stories for this collection. She's one of the longest-serving TKers still around and more than deserves my vote. I love WattPunk, love everything about Wattpad being the centre of some kind of sci-fi world. I also love when real Wattpad users (especially myself) are inserted into WattPunk tales. So is it really any surprise that I picked this quirky tale?

Orangepunk

by elveloy

Elveloy's eyes drooped, her head fell forward—and she sat up with a jerk. Dammit. She couldn't afford to fall asleep. She only had an hour left to complete her entry for the Tevun-Krus e-zine. She swallowed the last cold dregs of coffee and read the last paragraph again. It failed to make any sense whatsoever. Bother.

She propped her chin on an elbow and gazed blankly into space. What was she trying to say here? Her brain felt as thick as wool on a sheep's back. Maybe a little catnap would help—wasn't that all the rage now? Power naps? Just one more sentence and then... she was sound asleep by the time her face hit the keyboard. Which was just as well, considering what was about to happen. She felt nothing as invisible tendrils curled out from the keyboard, and burrowed into her brain.

~~~

She was floating, drifting through space. Dreaming. At first there was nothing to see but specks of light, like stars against the night sky. She drifted aimlessly, feeling nothing, going nowhere. After a while she became aware of a faint orange glow ahead. Was it morning? Sunrise? Where was she?

As if her brain was unable to cope with the lack of form and structure, she began to see things. First her hand, small and pale. Then, as in the nature of dreams, a corridor appeared in front of her—transparent to start with, but growing more solid as she watched. Then she was inside, floating down the corridor. The walls were pale apricot, the floor covered in a carpet of marigolds. Doors appeared on either side—each with a handle that appeared to be made of pure amber.

A scuffling noise ahead caught her attention and she glanced up just in time to catch a glimpse of a large, hairy orange animal disappearing 'round a corner. She hastened after it but by the time she got there, the creature had disappeared—along with the corner. Leaving only a couple of orange hairs floating gently down to the floor as evidence it had ever been there.

What was this place?

"Hallo?" she tried to call out, but her voice made no sound. There was no-one else in the corridor. Time passed. Nothing happened.

Finally, taking a deep breath, she opened the door nearest to her. The room was filled with trees—except it wasn't a room, it was a forest. Suddenly a corps of screaming zombies, eyes rolling and mouths gaping, emerged from the forest and staggered toward her. Shaking, she slammed the door shut just in time. What the hell was that? She stared blankly at the door. There seemed to be words printed on it, in small type. ZEDS, Season Two, by AngusEcrivain.

She looked up and down the corridor again, but she was still alone. Nervously, she stared at the next door. She'd be more careful this time. But although she examined it from top to bottom, the surface appeared to be quite blank.

Tentatively, she turned the handle and opened the door a crack. Peered inside. Two people in white coats were bent over a work bench which was covered in glass tubes and beakers.

Elveloy cleared her throat. "Hullo?"

Eek! The woman gave a startled scream and dropped the beaker she was holding. It shattered on the floor. Everyone stared at it in dismay, even Elveloy, who had no idea what it was.

"That was the cure for cancer!" murmured the man, stricken. Both scientists glared at Elveloy.

"Sorry!" she muttered, closing the door.

She couldn't believe her eyes. There, written on the door in small type, were the words, The Cure, by SP Parish.

"Well that's a fat lot of use," she grumbled. "Now."

She walked up and down the corridor, fuming. But there was no way out, except—possibly—through one of the doors.

"All right, let's try this again." Elveloy opened the door and then immediately wished she hadn't. An elderly android—with stiff white hair and a white moustache—stood there, holding the dumbest-looking human Elveloy had ever seen. On a leash.

"What are you staring at, fart face?" asked the android, rudely.

"Er... nothing," stammered Elveloy. "Sorry."

Hang on, why on Earth was she apologising to this offensive individual?

"Your mother was a toaster and your father sucked light sockets," she shouted back, which was the worst insult she could think of on the spur of the moment. Feeling unreasonably cheered, she slammed the door in the android's face, just as it was drawing in its artificial breath to call for the stray-human catcher.

Almost with resignation, she read the small printed words which had now appeared on the door, My Human is Smarter Than Yours, by MadMikeMarsbergen.

There was definitely something odd going on here. She felt a rather uneasy kinship with Alice. How was she ever going to escape? Each door led to some bizarre world, many of them conjured up by some pretty wacko imaginations if she was any judge. Where was the door out? The exit? Anxiously she began to run up and down the corridor, but found nothing but blank doors.

Before she could tip over the edge into panic, some large green letters appeared in the air in front of her. "Wattpad is currently overcapacity. Please try again later."

And it threw her out.

Gasping for breath, Elveloy opened her eyes, wrenched her face off the keyboard and sat up. She stared, panting, at the blank screen.

OMG. Had that really happened? Or was it all a dream?

One thing was certain, she was never going to complain about the "overcapacity" message again!