Faded [OLD DRAFT 2014]

.XVll.

"Elliot," a voice whispered gently. "You're gonna be late." My eyes peeled open at the voice, my vision distorted. Blinking a couple times, I focused on Courtney concerned face as she peered back at me. She raised a hand causing to me to flinch as she traced her fingertips at the roughness along the side of my eye, courtesy of crying them out for hours. Courtney's lips tugged to a frown as she pulled her hand away, her head turned to a different direction. "You should start getting dressed."

My mind automatically drifted to the events that unfold yesterday, the feeling of dread washing through my system again. Alyssa. Grabbing hold of my bottom lip with my top set of teeth, I stopped the unwanted cry from springing out my mouth as my throat began to contract and made it harder to breathe. Short choppy breaths escaped from between my lips. She was going to tell him.

I don't think I had the guts to face him today, or anybody else for that matter. How could I even look him in the eye? Graham wasn't going to speak to me even again; he wasn't even going to listen to what I have to say. And I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't believe me either.

Dejectedly shaking my head, I curled up more into my bed, turning the other way, wishing she would leave me be. I just wanted to be left alone for a while. Things were just going to get worse from now on.

"Elliot," she sighed  impatiently. "You have to go. If somebody didn't cut class yesterday, I would have been more sympathetic and let you stay home." I stayed silent and she sighed again, her voice getting more authoritative. "Elliot Chambers, you better get your butt out of this bed this instant before I drag you out of it."

Reluctantly I dragged myself up, swinging my legs out of bed as it hovered centimeters above the ground. There was no doubt she would do it. Looking up at her, her hands were on her hip with a satisfied look. Courtney took that time to pace towards the door before she abruptly stopped, glancing back at me. "And to make sure you go, I'm dropping you myself to the front door of your first period class."

Sighing, I got up to my feet, heading to my closet to pick out clothes to wear. I had a feeling it was about to be a long day.

***

Courtney was true to her word, door to door service. She would walk me from my bedroom door all the way to my first period class. My head was kept low, facing the tiled floor as I walked with Courtney in the hallway, keeping track of her feet. The hood I wore gratefully helped shelter me from everything else. I could hear the other kids whispering around and I was pretty sure they were staring too. Luckily, their voices just stayed as whispers and I was thankful my ears decided not to pick up on what they were saying.

Her feet paused and I automatically did the same. My line of vision rose, facing the science door in front of me. This was it Courtney stood to the side, her arms crossed over her chest. "Well, gone on," she urged. Biting my bottom lip, my heart rate increased, pumping loud and irregularly as I slowly reached for the door knob.

'Graham's on the other side,' a pessimistic voice developed and cooed instantly. 'He doesn't want to see a person so disgusting as you; you're so dirty. Why would he want to see you when he can have anybody else? Someone better and more deserving.'

I quickly retracted my hand as if it was on fire. A familiar feeling stung my eyes as it became harder to breathe again. Dispiritedly, I looked towards Courtney while shaking my head. I couldn't do it. He'll hate me and I don't want him to. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Courtney huffed peevishly, storming close enough, my body jumping at the close proximity. She graciously grabbed the doorknob and open the door herself, cracking it open. Turning back to me, she pointed at the open door, flicking her wrist. "Inside."

Shuffling my feet, I tried swallowing the huge lump in my throat as I walked inside. There were only two people in the room, Ian and Graham. It was deathly silent. My body jumped in surprise as the door suddenly closed behind me, trapping me in an unwanted place, eyes flickering to Ian with his back turned to me, on his tiptoes writing on the board. Then Graham. He was on his phone, not sparing a glance in my direction. My heart clenched, tearing my eyes away from him.