Crush On My Bully BxB

Kyler's P.O.V.

I was walking in the hallway, my head facing down so no one could see me. I had two bruises on my face from a beating that I got from my mom. I live with my mom and dad. My dad used to help me when Mom was abusive, but then he started doing it too. I don't know why. I have the worst life ever. I heard my "name" being called.

Oh no... not again... I'm not only abused at home, it happens at school too. My "name" was called again.

"Hey queer!"

Yeah. They call me queer and faggot. Sure. I'm gay. The whole school knows. It's not a secret. I have no friend, no one to rely on to help me. well, actually, I have a therapist but he sucks. I just skip our meetings nowadays. He just thinks I'm screwed up like everyone else.

I kept walking, not stopping to look. He kept calling my "name". "He", as in, Ben Shirley. He always beats my up. It happens everyday. And sometimes, if he really wants it to, things will get very severe.

He ran up to me and slapped me in the back of the head. I looked behind me. Ben. I knew it.

"Hey, queer, I was talking to you." I know better than to talk back to him. He would just hit me even more. He saw the bruise on my face. "Did your parents hit you again?" He just laughed in my face. "Why won't you talk? Loose your voice or something?" I haven't talked to my bullies or anyone at school for around three days I think. I always get glared at if I do.

Ben slapped me across the face. That should leave a mark. then I heard the voice made by angels. But the thing is... he's my biggest bully of all time. But no one knows that I have this huge crush on him. And that's probably for the best. For some reason, everyone thinks I like Ben. I have no idea why though.

"Faggot!" Brian punched me in my stomach quite hard. I don't know why I like him so much. I mean, he beats me to death. He hurts me all the time. But when he hits me, I get to feel his warm, soft hands for a quick, few seconds. And his voice is like a melody, making me want to melt.

"Ouch." I spoke soft and quiet. Oh no... I just spoke. Something bad is going to happen. I just know it.

I looked at Brian and Ben's smirks. I didn't know what to do. I was paralyzed. What were my consequences going to be today?

Ben's smirk got bigger.

"You spoke! Haha! Man, your voice... it's so pathetic!" Ben laughed in my face again. Brian ended up laughing too. Why couldn't Brian at least be bisexual? I frowned at my thoughts. I turned away. I hated what Brian saw my bruises. But he loves seeing them. I hate it.

Brian and Ben, just last week, found out that I've been cutting. They don't know I'm suicidal though. I'm depressed and I love punishing myself. Why do I live? It's not fair to other people that I'm alive. Better yet born.

I stood there for a second looking at the ground. Then I saw it... in my bag, I had a package opener razor. I smiled. Ben and Brian looked at me confused. I would be too.

"Why are you so happy?" Ben asked rather rudely.

"Bye guys!" Then I ran. I ran to the boys bathroom. I was finally alone. I looked in my shoulder bag to find my razor. It wasn't there....... I had it just a second ago!!! .... oh no .... it must have fallen out where Ben and Brian were! Oh gosh. This cannot be happening.

I was about to run out of the bathroom and go back to get it when... Brian came into the bathroom. Oh gosh. He had it. He had my razor.

"Hmph. This yours?" he asked.

"Give it back Brian!" I yelled. Brian looked at the razor then looked at me.
"Hm... There's dry blood on it. when was the last time you cut Kyler?" He said coldly.

"..." I didn't answer. How could I? Why did he want to know anyways? he's getting into my business a lot lately. As in, the last two weeks. it's weird!

"C'mon queer, tell me." I sighed. I sucked in.

"No. You'll just tell everyone like you always do."

"What if I promise not to?" I know what he's doing. He's teasing me again. It's not fair.

"Before I left home. Happy? No go tell the whole school if you have to! You're such a jerk!!!" I grabbed my razor out of Brian's hand and sprinted out of the boys bathroom. He saw me cry...