Uhm wow. Okay. Here I am, 30 days from when I started. It's really hard to believe that I've actually finished this. I'm proud of myself for getting this far.
But this particular letter...it's the one that I've been dreading the most.
I hate looking in mirrors. I don't think I'm pretty. My lips are too small, my face is too wide, one of my eyebrows is higher than the other. My shoulders are too broad, my legs are too short. Why is it that I can't find anything about myself that I actually like?
People say that I'm pretty, but I honestly don't see that. I wish I could. I wish I could be able to look into a mirror and genuinely say 'Wow. I look pretty today!' but that's not possible- at least not right now. And maybe I won't ever be able to say that.
In all honesty, the first thing I think when I see my reflection is something along the liens of 'ugh I look like shit.'I hate that I can't be more confident. I hate that I can't bring myself to think I'm pretty.
People have asked me why I wear so much makeup. I'm ashamed to say that I wear makeup to hide the things I think are wrong with me. It's like I can cover up my imperfections with foundation and coverup. I feel like I can hide my eyes with eyeshadow and eyeliner. Maybe I feel like if I wear enough makeup, people will look at that instead of me. I hide behind it. I know that I shouldn't, but I don't think I'm strong enough not to.
Maybe I'll change. Maybe I'll finally be able to like the way I look. But I don't know..
~Kat
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30-Day Letter Challenge
Non-FictionA little challenge that I've seen floating around on a few sites. I decided that I should start one of my own. There are a lot of people in my life that I think deserve an apology. I want to let them know how much they mean to me, so this is where I...
