You Belong With Us

Chapter 1

"Louis! Louis look at me!"
"Oh my god. It's Louis Tomlinson!"
"Can we have a picture"
"Are the rumors true?"

I was blinded by the flashing of cameras from the paparazzi, and I'm bombarded with questions from fans and reporters. I can't handle this for much longer, I thought. I felt bad for not talking to the fans, but there was too much chaos and catastrophe going on around me to really concentrate.

You're bad. You ignored those poor fans that did nothing to you. You need to be punished. Bad. My inner omega was speaking to me, which is a problem because I have to push those feelings out. No one can know. No one. I have to be a beta. You are not an omega. Not an omega. Not an omega, my mind chanted to me, pushing out my feeling, only leaving the ones that felt the need to punish myself for being the way I am. I shouldn't have been an omega.

I am walking on the street, and I have no clue where I am at the moment. I rushed off the tour bus as soon as I could, just so I could stretch my legs for as long as possible.

I was only here for not even a full minute before all the paparazzi came. There is no way to escape them. They are the reason why my life is miserable. I can't go anywhere without being attacked by them. I really don't mind fans coming up to me anytime, they are always so sweet.

You don't deserve this life. You don't deserve anything. You are a poor excuse for an omega.

Security finally helped push me through the crowd, and we kept walking until we returned to the tour bus finally. The tour bus is where we spend most of our time, because we are traveling most of the time. Right now, we are in the beginning of the American leg of the tour.

Right now I was right in front of the bus, and I walked onto the bus. Immediately, I was greeted by loud shouts from the boys.

I looked to where the sound is coming from. The rest of the guys' attention is towards the tv in lounge, because they are apparently playing FIFA. I don't even think they noticed me getting off and on the bus. It's because they know you're bad. They hate you and you deserve it. Bad omega.

I felt the need to go and punish myself but unfortunately I had no where I could pull out my blades without the chance of being caught. It was very stressful, because I was really feeling the need to do something, anything to make the itch stop.

I planned on just sneaking past the guys, and just going to sleep in my bunk.

"Hey Louis!" Niall called.

I cringed. I knew I couldn't pass the guys without them noticing me, because of their perfect alpha hearing.

"You up for a late night round of FIFA with us?"

"Uh, no thanks mate, not right now. I'm probably going to go take a nap before we get to the hotel for our show in a few hours."

Niall looked disappointed, and immediately I felt bad as I walked past them to go to my bunk. I honestly considered going back in there and apologizing to him and playing a game of FIFA with him to make up for it.

Look at how much of a bad omega you are. Look what you just did, you upset an alpha. You are so bad. Bad omega.

I hopped up into my bunk, and just curled up into a ball, and just immediately started sobbing into my knees. I just don't think I can take living like this. It's so awful, I hate myself so much.

You are probably wondering what is going on right now. My name is Louis Tomlinson, and I am an omega. But to everyone else, I am a beta. No one can know my deepest secret, because the boys all deserve so much better then me, I hope they all find happiness one day. I take suppressants, which stop me from having a usual omega scent, and it stops my heats. It has a very high risk of seriously harming me, because of how dangerous the pills are. I never will, because I will never get an alpha. I am never going to be able to come out as an omega.

(One thing he didn't know was that the suppressants he took had the side effects of depression and suicidal thoughts.)

I'm going to have to live like this for the rest of my life, and I honestly would just rather end it. I can't though, because of the boys and the fans. They don't deserve to be sad. No one would be sad over your death. Everyone just wants you gone anyway.

This voice is driving me insane. It's the voice of my abused inner omega.

There is only one way to quiet the voices down. I get out of the bunk, and walk to the bathroom. I grab the bag on the counter labeled 'Louis' and start digging around in it, and when I feel my blade, I pull it out.

I hurriedly slipped off my skinny jeans and underwear, and it was very depressing with what I saw. I saw lots of scars, which are all different reasons why I'm not good enough and don't deserve to even be alive right now. I pressed the blade into my hip. I sliced several times, pressing down hard enough for blood you've running down my leg.

You are disgusting, fat, ugly, and worthless. Why don't you just end it already? It's not like anyone would miss you.

I heard footsteps, coming towards the door of the bus bathroom. Immediately panicking, I put my hand on my cuts and slightly wince in pain.

A sudden rapping of knuckles gently against the door, and immediately hear a soft voice speaks, "Louis? Louis? Is everything okay in there?"

Oh god. It's Liam.

I'm shaking in fear, and start to have trouble breathing. Stay calm. Stay calm. As I rush around the small bathroom trying to find something to soak up the blood and put my pants back on. I hiss slightly from the sting of the rough denim sliding on the still tender cuts.

"Yes! Everything is fine!"

Lies.