The Breakup Games

•Part Fourteen•

I woke up to the sound of my door slamming. I heard Ashley growling at Brittany, "You idiot, I told you not to let the door slam!"

I smiled up at them, feeling especially weak today, having not eaten yet. "Look! Now you woke her up!" Ashley snapped.

I shook my head and urged them in, "No it's alright. Did you all come?"

Ashley gave a weak smile and set down a tin container she was carrying with snowflakes all over it. Probably a Christmas cookie tin that she decided to bring instead of tupperware that she'd have to wash later. The rest of the girls filed in one by one. They all just gave me sympathetic smiles. "How are you feeling?"

I gave her a weak smile and set my hand on hers, "I'm okay. Just a little weak now. I'm glad you all came to visit."

"I brought you some of your favorite chicken with that dressing stuff." Denise said, nodding towards the tin container, "I know when I got my appendix out, I hated the hospital food, so... there ya go."

Daniel came in behind my friends and came over to the other side of my bed. I hadn't been able to see him the past two days because he had races back to back on Friday and Saturday. His eyes lit up when I smiled at him. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Kind of weak right now, but the doctor says that I can come home in a few days, but that I should probably go home home. Not dorm house home. Georgia home."

The excitement in all of their eyes faded. "What?" Brittany asked.

"Just for a few weeks."

Daniel leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I'm coming home with you."

I smiled. "I'll be back you guys. Don't worry about me."

"Can I have a moment with Tara alone?" Carla asked suddenly.

They all nodded and filed out one by one.

I looked at her sideways, "What's wrong?"

She sighed and plopped down in a plush green chair in the corner of the room. She fiddled awkwardly with the strings on her scarf. "I just wanted to apologize, finally, for my behavior the day that you suggested ending The Games."

I just looked at her. "Thank you."

~*~

The following Sunday, Daniel was helping me out of bed and to the bathroom to bathe and get ready for dismissal. I had been incredibly weak the past week or two. Something to do with the fact that my entire body had shut down... not to mention all of the meds I was on.

This was the very first time that I'd be able to see my body after being beaten and raped by James. Daniel ran hot bath water, and helped me strip down to my undergarments. I looked in the wall length mirror against the tile bathroom wall, as Daniel stood behind me, gently running a brush through my dirty hair. Slow and gentle as if I were glass and he might break me if he pulled the brush any faster.

There were many small purple bruises from James' fingers. Mostly around my arms and wrists. My cheek swelling had gone down, but it was still tinted a sickly yellow-purple color. There were two very dark brushes on the inside of my thighs from where he had pushed my legs open.

I thought I was going to barf.

Daniel looked at me over my shoulder in the mirror. "I'm so sorry, Tess."

"Sorry for what?"

He unclasped the necklace that was around my neck and sat it on the side of the sink. "For leaving. This wouldn't have happened if I had stayed." "

I shook my head. "Stop it Daniel. It's alright. I mean-"

"Stop it Tess. It was just like the first time! I wasn't there when you needed me and that asshole got exactly what he wanted!" Daniel was shouting now.

I turned around and just looked at him. And I mean really looked at him. I could see how much this event had taken its toll on him. His eyes were purple underneath, and his eyes were bloodshot. His once clean shaven face was sprouting hair and he didn't care. It reminded me of how he had looked back when James had first attacked me. Right before I left. Right before he lost me for those years.

I lightly touched his cheek. "You stop it, Daniel. You've been with me all of this time. You can't attack yourself for leaving me. It was the first time. And I'm not leaving you this time." I gave him a weak smile. "We'll be home soon."

He sighed, "You should get in your bath now. You need to be discharged in time to pack your things and get on our flight."

Daniel knocked on the bathroom door. "Tess? Are you alright? You've been in there for an hour already. Isn't your water cold?"

It was, but I didn't care. I was too busy wallowing in my own sadness and filth. I had been in a dark spot in my life for a long time and I was tired of it. Tired of being sad. Tired of feeling like there was no point in going on. Tired of dragging everyone around me down with me.

I stepped out of the bath and wrapped a towel around me. "You can come in now."

Daniel came in the bathroom and immediately wrapped his arms around me. I was soaking his shirt, but he didn't care and neither did I. It felt wonderful to feel secure for awhile. I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried like a baby into his shirt for a good twenty minutes before pulling away. "What was that for?" I asked between sniffles. dfs

"I was just thinking when I was out there. And I realized how badly I wanted to be near you."

I cried even more so as I spoke. "I just want to go home and forget all about this."

He pulled me back in. "I think we can manage that much."

My flight was shorter than I would have liked. I was honestly not looking forward to the many questions that would spill out of my mother without her being able to stop it. I loved my family, but I was dreading it. Daniel held my hand during the flight, which brought me reassurance, but I still wished I could turn the plane around and land it on the road in front of my dorm house.

Daniel slept most of the way, only getting in trouble twice for wandering the cabin in search of chocolate-covered raisins. I tried to keep my mind off of things by thinking about him. Me. Us. What was happening. If I was oblivious to more than I thought I was. I know that we had been in an unsteady place for a very long time. He never asked what we were and I never really thought about it. But it was on the plane ride there that it occurred to me just how much he meant to me, and I meant to him.

He had been there through all of this. From the point that I walked right out of the dorm house, through the James incident, through the court trials through it all. Through the pain, the hospital, the bills, the tears, the anger. He had been there since the beginning, holding on to me. And I didn't give him enough credit. I remembered how he was ready to kill James. I remembered how he helped me every step of the way. And now I was realizing that I hadn't given it next to enough attention. Everything had just been happening so quickly, that I hadn't taken time to stop and think about anything other than incident after incident.

It was relieving to know that I would finally have some time to just stop. Just stop and breathe and take in moments for once in the past few months. And I'd get to do it at home.

Daniel woke me up right before the plane landed. "You need to put your seatbelt on."

I sat up and buckled it. Then secured my stuff for the landing. "I'm not so sure I'm looking forward to this anymore." I confessed.

"Why not?"

"My mom drilling me with questions. My dad threatening to murder James." I sighed, "You should know better than anyone that southern parents have the worst tempers."

Daniel didn't say anything. Just reach over and took my hand.