Ten & Levan

41. Forty One

TEN

I lean against a wall in the shadow house's living room as I watch Levan and Ava merrily going about chores in the kitchen. Levan is doing the dishes and Ava is wiping the counter. I offered to help but was forbidden to even enter the kitchen, so now I busy myself observing two heads of pale blonde hair as they work in sync, like the siblings they are; brother and sister, lilac and azure.

"You didn't have to feed me..." I say, not sure which of the Emerys I'm talking to, but maybe both.

"Come on, weren't you hungry after that amazing performance?" asks Ava, wrapping up her work.

"Actually, I was," I admit, shrugging, "but you could at least let me help you guys."

"No, stay put over there, we're handling this," Ava warns me, her gaze pinning me back to the wall like a magnet.

"We're almost done anyway, there's not much you can help with," says Levan, grinning at me from all the way across the room.

"Why are we here though?" I ask, frowning at him. Ava giggles inside her mouth and sneaks a glance at Levan. "What?" She shakes her head. Do they already have their own secrets?

"I think I'm going to bed now," she says, faking a yawn, "I'm quiet sleepy...goodnight you two." And then she flies away and up the stairs.

"Goodnight," I say, as she disappears around the corner. When I turn back around, Levan is standing in front of me. "Care to tell me what's going on?" I ask him. His brows pull together slightly as grabs my hand, our fingers intertwine, and there's a sudden blue film over my sight. Everything is blue; his hair, his eyes, his lips.

"Close your eyes?" he mutters to me. I silently tell him how I love how the world looks right now and how I don't want to miss this, this blue bliss. "Please?" he says, waving his hand down across my eyes. I reluctantly let go of my sight, tightening my hold on his hand. "Come..." he whispers, sending a shiver down my body, making the hair on my nape stand on their ends, making me see a hundred different colors in my blindness

"Where are you taking me?" I ask him, amused. He doesn't respond, but I imagine his smile widen.

"Take your shoes off," he says, halting midway. He almost laughs at how quickly I kick my shoes off, but I can't help any of it, feeling the weird buzzing in the back of my heart, the cool in my throat, the adrenaline kicking into my blood. It's uncontrollable.

When he tugs at my hand again, I feel the dewy spines of ice-cold grass tickle under my feet, it makes me giggle as we walk.

"We're outside!" I say, giggling still.

"Yes," he tells me as we come to halt again, but this time, I believe we've reached our destination. "Now, open your eyes..." he says and when I do, we're looking at the tightrope in the backyard.

"You wanted me to plan date number three, right?" he asks, "you can also consider this an early birthday present..." he shrugs. I can't explain how I feel right now, I'm too consumed by a gazillion thoughts, wondering how they add up.

"Are we going to do what I think we're going to do?" I ask, raising my brows.

"That's why we're barefoot, I'm going to teach you how to walk a tightrope," he tells me and I finally let the squeal I've been holding out. I collide into him in an aggressive attempt to hug him, but end up squeezing the life out of him.

"But you said you didn't know how to!" I say as I pull back.

"My mom taught me, but I didn't really continue with it after she died, so I wasn't sure if I still knew how to," he says explains, "Ava helped me change the slackline and a few other things on it so we could make it work..."

"I cannot wait to begin!" I tell him, clapping my hands together.

"Good, then go up that ladder," he tells me as he takes his jacket off. Grinning ear to ear, I waste no more time and start climbing up from one side while he does from the other. For some reason, I don't stop giggling until I reach the top, but when I do step on the post, standing a tightrope away from Levan, I realize that it's actually really high up and there's a good ninety percent chance I might just fall to my death.

"Don't worry, there's a safety net under us," he tells me, as if he'd magically read my mind. I nod as I gulp.

"What do I have to do?" I say, running my sweaty palms down my skirt to dry them.

"You don't. I only practiced once yesterday...so let me be sure first," he says, swiftly gliding onto the slackline as if he's just stepped on air. No biggie, just walking a tightrope, casually. Both his arms fly over his head to maintain balance, his eyes focus on the line as he takes his first few baby steps. But when his body starts to create its own balance, his arms stop flailing and he brings them down to shoulder level.

I stand watching him with awe, suddenly, I start to feel nervous. Wow, am I actually scared? In a few more steps, he's standing right in front of me, smiling as he offers me a hand.

"Ready?" he asks. I nod excitedly. "Put your hands on my shoulders..." he says, grabbing my waist as I step onto the line. My steps make the whole line shake so violently that Levan has to get our balance back with his arms but when we do find balance, I can't stop giggling. Well it's not like that helps.

His hands find my waist again as he laughs with me. He walks backwards, taking me forward with him, and for few steps we take, it's almost as if we're waltzing across the tightrope, our toes grabbing onto the edges of the slackline, our hands grabbing at each other for support. Believe it or not Levan, we're dancing on the air.

Before we take our sixth step, we're falling, and I'm laughing as we do. You're falling, but that's okay there's a net, I hope we bounce back up into the air, breathe, don't let go of him, his eyes are smiling, don't forget to laugh, laugh because you're falling, you're falling, you're falling, you're falling. It's weird how when you're falling, your brain bombards you with thoughts. It only takes seconds but it also takes two hundred thousand seconds to fall. So for a moment we're falling, we're falling, we're falling endlessly, and in a blink, we're just laughing, lying on the net.

I end up sucking three huge breaths in as my lungs struggle for air. I can feel the pounding of my heart inside my chest and the roar of blood in my ears, so I close my eyes and breathe out. Thrill, I realize I can never get enough of this feeling, so I might just save it for later. When I open my eyes again we're staring at the stars, Levan's hands still enwraps mine, and our arms still touch. That's a whole different level of thrill.

"Thank you," I whisper to him, trying not to break through the chirping of the insects in the grass and the sound the universe just makes all the time. But I roll over, lying on his chest, with my elbows against the net, so that I'm looking straight at him. He runs a hand through his hair but his eyes stay focused on mine.

"For this...and for letting Ava in," I say, "I know it must've been hard, but it's worth it. So, thank you." He blinks and frowns slightly, he does that when he's thinking, or overthinking, who knows? I grab his face and bring my mouth to his, thrill, yes, that's what this is. He kisses me back with fervor, and he tastes of stardust on the beach.

I throw a leg across his torso so that I'm straddling him, his hands find my waist again, their warmth pierces through the fabric of my dress and it spreads across my whole body like wildfire. You know that feeling when you feel so intensely about a song, a memory, a story, or a notion that you want it to forever fill your soul? That you want to crush it into a powder and drink it up? That you feel so empowered and afire that you almost forget how to exist without it? Like no matter what you do you just can't be close enough?

I see a thousand stars, I see their light, and when I get close enough they're all suns. Afire, afire, afire. I might be scorched, yes, but it hurts so good.

That's how he makes me feel. Real.

But when we pull back we're both heaving, all my breath runs away, I still see the stars but no scars on my skin. Where do I begin? I don't know what I am or who.

"Levan," I say, my breath shaking, "I'm in love with you."