Ten & Levan

23. Twenty Three

TEN

I slide into the water, fully aware of just how nervous Levan is. I take my time to let my skin absorb the water splashing around me as I swim a lap on my back to the other end of the clear blue. I register Sky Ferreira starting to croon about a sad dream somewhere near where Levan is sitting as I dolphin back to him.

I pop out of the water before I'm even halfway through. I take in a deep breath and laugh at myself. And here I thought I could still pull swimming off like I did. I tread the rest of my way to Levan, giving my lungs the air they beg. Levan watches me with wide eyes from behind his goggles. His skin is so pale you'd think he's about to pass out. All of which tells me that he must have an issue with swimming.

But given that he hasn't even swum, I take it as beginner's jitters. I offer him my hand when I'm at the edge.

"The water is safe for swimming, no sharks, no slippery seaweed, all safe and sound. So come on..." I say to him. But even though I thought that was really funny, he doesn't smile. Why does it feel like it's been forever since he did that? "Come on, Levan," I say again. He blinks at me, before taking my hand and sliding in too.

At first, Levan is slowly going under and then all of a sudden he's splashing water everywhere, struggling to stay on the surface. But I stand back and watch him, I need him to take his time and adapt to the water, to mix right in. For he's blue, it shouldn't take him long.

He only corks to the surface for microseconds before going back under, his arms lunging for air. I swim to him again and grab both of his hands.

"Stay calm, let go, remember?" I remind him what I'd told him only a few minutes ago. He tries to get a grip and cuts down most of his motion, I tighten my grip on him and help him stay afloat.

When his face is out of the water, I notice that it's flushed yet pale. I snicker at him.

"It's not funny, I almost drowned," he says bitterly as he sucks in a chain of deep breaths.

"I'll never let you drown Levan. Ever, ever, Never," I tell him. Then we're eye to eye for several seconds. It's as if he's tattooing my words inside his brain and I know, in that moment, that we aren't sane. We never were. I see his nervousness evaporate. I see it in color. In shades of brown and gray.

And god help me, I want to kiss him again, but I'm too afraid. Because what if he forgets it like he did last time? What if he walks away and never comes back? If that happens again, it would knock me to the ground. So I wash the lump in my throat down with chlorine and water as I let both his hands go. He watches me swim away. I watch him float.

***

"How's your book going?" I ask Levan, pulling myself out of the pool. "Any progress on it?" We've been floating for more than half an hour now. I'm sure we floated more than we swam, saying nothing as we stared up and out through the glass ceiling of the pool.

I'm also sure I'm a bad coach. Damn, I can never be a teacher like I planned. And god, did I plan it well. I grump at that thought as I produce a towel from my bag and run it across my arms, neck and face. I don't want to admit it, but I do feel drained.

Levan realizes how effortlessly he was floating up until now and starts to frown at the water around him. I giggle at his reaction. He notices me laughing at him, so he starts to swim to me clumsily. Levan emerges out of the pool a little more confident than he entered it. I throw my towel at his face when he sits down safely.

"Any new clichés?" I ask him.

"Um, I was wondering about the climax. Normally, in books, secrets are revealed, things get to their ugliest stage, there's some kind of heartbreak, someone dies," he tells me, running the towel through his hair. "What do we do with that? How do we not make it cliché?" he asks.