Sentinal's Tear (Book #1 in Requiem Series) [formally titled Lacrimosa]

Chapter 12

Aydan

The club is quiet, typical for a Monday night. No one crowds the ropes as Azza walks in, nodding at the dark creatures that guard the entrance. I follow a step behind, my mind torn. The dark creatures smile, baring their fangs, anticipating the meal they expect me to provide.

But I can't. I won't. Not now. Maybe not ever again.

My mind tosses over the memories of my life with Azza, frustrated and angry. I've never enjoyed serving him. It's worse now that Nesy and Elle absorb my thoughts. What's wrong with me? Why can't I stop thinking about them?

Azza motions me to join him at the back of the club. We slip into a booth that overlooks the stage and dance floor. Music echoes off the walls as the scant patrons dance or talk in tangled huddles near the bar. I search, praying she isn't here. Frustration ripples across my muscles as I stretch my neck, back, shoulders.

"You have something to say to me," Azza says. His cold stare penetrates my defenses.

I know what I should say, what he wants to hear. But I can't lie. The Beast stirs, reminding me of my need to feed. Guilt and shame coat my tongue.

Enough of this. "I can't do this anymore. I won't."

"Can't do what, exactly? Can't live as a 17-year old boy, forever young? Can't skate by with no rules? Dominate anyone you choose? Feed off the fear of these humans?" Azza's words drip with disdain. "What is it that you think you can't do?"

I clench my jaw as a wave of fury begins to make its way up my throat. "This. Kill for you." I force the words out through my gritted teeth.

"You don't do it for me. You never have. You kill for you and you alone. You kill to meet your own needs. I simply allow my demons to take your leftovers."

He's right. My anger swells.

"Don't sulk, Aydan. You chose this life. All of it."

No! I scream inside. You did this to me. I turn to my master, my cold expression mirrored in his eyes.

"You chose to ignore the Council," Azza says. "They would have offered you a chance. But you decided to leave Celestium. No one else. You picked this fate."

"That isn't what happened," I spit. "You forced—"

"The Council wanted you to stay. Only Mikayel objected. In the end, he would've yielded to the others. You had a chance at another life. A life without me. That was our bargain. But, you decided to leave. You decided to follow me. I am not to blame for your choices."

My silence screams the truth of his words.

"I know you've enjoyed this life," Azza says as a smile forms in his eyes. "Found pleasure in killing the way you do."

"At one time, maybe." I turn away and picture a different life, one without Azza, without the demons. The images fade as quickly as they form and reveal my simple truth—I did choose this.