Sentinal's Tear (Book #1 in Requiem Series) [formally titled Lacrimosa]

Chapter 3

Nesy

He's coming through the crowd, straight toward me. Good. Time to get him outside and complete this task. But something isn't right. My feelings are too erratic, too chaotic. My body is confused. My mind, lost.

Memories that shouldn't exist threaten to undo me. I need to think, get this human body under control.

I need to be alone.

I run down the hall, ducking into the bathroom. It is just as I suspect—small, dank, and stuffed with Aydan's would-be victims primping and getting high. I squeeze into their near-vacant thoughts, willing them out of the cramped space. Not exactly within the rules, but a necessity if I'm going to salvage the situation at all.

One by one, the parade of girls spill from the bathroom until, finally, I'm alone. I grab the sink and glare into the human eyes reflecting back at me.

"By the strength of Mikayel, you've got to get it together," I say to my image. "Teenager or not, you're still a warrior. He's your target, nothing more, no matter what you think you feel. He kills humans for sport. He'll kill you tonight if he gets the chance."

I take a quick breath, forcing the nonstop barrage of images from my thoughts. A boy, tall, with amber eyes that stare through me.

He's not Adam. He can't be.

That life ended centuries ago.

I stare back at the human version of myself. "The Council trusted you with this job. No one else. You told them you were ready for it, ready to be human again. Ready for what that might mean. You will not disappoint them. You will not forsake your commitment. You will not feel. Period." I stare at myself, half expecting the reflection to answer. Moments click by and the emotional wave passes. The memories clear and my thoughts calm.

I stretch my neck, my spine, my legs, searching for the comfort I once felt in flesh. But it's no use. I feel confined. Out of control. Weak.

I hate being human.

The only way out is to finish the task. Determined, I leave.

"You ran off fast." Aydan leans against the wall in the cramped hallway. "Something scare you?" He moves closer, the warmth of his breath tickling my cheek.

Memories—my memories—pour forward. The smell of pine on his skin, the feel of his arms around my waist, the taste of his lips on mine. I lose myself in his eyes, in my past.

Adam.

Leaning into him, I brush my trembling lips against his.

No! The voice is loud in my head, breaking the UnHoly's spell. I can't breathe. Can't think. I can only . . .

Run.

The cold night air bites my skin as I burst through the emergency doors, the alarm wailing behind me.

"Succurre mihi. Help me." My voice is louder than the shrieking bells. My legs tremble and I grab the stone wall of the church, sliding to the ground. Fear that shouldn't exist, grips the whole of me. "Succurre mihi," I say again. "Succurre." I am overcome by pictures long forgotten. They storm my senses and my mind.

A dark forest . . . so cold.

A hideous monster . . . sharp teeth.

A golden boy, tall and angry . . . my love.

I touch my lips. The taste of Aydan lingers there, a reminder of things that shouldn't exist.

My heart rips open. "Succurre," I whisper one last time as the images continue and my mind rolls in on itself. I'm lost inside an unwanted fear.

And need.