The Muslimah Musings

PEACE

Things have been rough recently. Up and down, up and down my life has gone. It has been very rough, I've been so restless. I've been trying to find something to do, something that would remove this hollow feeling from my heart. My mind has been telling me to go back to Allah, but I refused to listen. I've been afraid of admitting my sins, accepting that Allah owns me. I know that He is Ar-Rahman, the Most Merciful, but I also know that He is Al-Muntaqim, the Avenger.

Until the day I read my Qur'an; "And whatever you have been given is an enjoyment of the life of (this) world and its adornment, and that (hereafter) which is with Allah is better and will remain forever. Have you then no sense?" (Surah Al-Qasas: 60) I felt something that I haven't felt in a long time -peace.

I realized that I've been worrying myself into a tizzy with something that I couldn't control, things that are not important, when Allah has already promised us that what is with Him is better and lasts forever.

I really wanted to go back to Allah. I was desperately looking for something that would motivate me to live life as it should be lived. I realized that scaring myself into submission isn't good for me right now. I didn't want to do everything just because I'm scared of going to hell or having a bad future. I wanted to do things out of the fear of Allah and the genuine love of Allah.

I now realize that when I do things for the right purpose, which is to please Allah, I no longer feel disturbed or restless or question what I do. I feel an overwhelming sense of peace.

I decided to do what I'm supposed to do -pray properly, read my books, focus on the purpose of life, and at the end of everything, I found what I've been unconsciously looking for, for a long time now -peace.

So when we don't feel like doing anything, especially to please Allah, we should always remember the feeling we would have for working so hard to please Allah -peace.

I'm moving, slowly, but moving. I'm learning to be the best version of myself, to make sure that I don't make the same mistake every single day. I've learnt not to let the past hunt me, but to learn from it. I've also learnt not to think about the future so much, lest I forget the present. I'm learning to live every single day of my life as if it's my last. I'm learning how to live my life worshipping Allah and being mindful of Him. And I've learnt to always remember where I want my final destination to be -jannah.

Author's note
Hello and as-salamu alaykum everyone!!!👋 I really appreciate the fact that you guys take time out of your very busy schedules to read, vote and comment on my book. I apologize for not being constant with updating the chapters as I felt like what I write is not really good enough. But after meeting one of you today, it inspired me to continue. And I'll love if you can take time from your busy days to vote, comment (or criticize) me. Wish you all the best.

Your friend,

Khayra. ❤