Denial ✘ Stamon ✘ Defan

Part 5

A/N Sorry, short chapter. I am so tired but I really needed an update to put out. Very meaningful but seriously, it's late and I don't have a clue what I'm writing. It's probably all just waffle. I'm going to read this tomorrow and will want to delete it but I'm doing an update a week...so here it is. 1000 words a day is really getting to me...

Stefan and Damon stood opposite each other, both stuck in a silent stand-off. Both were too stubborn to break the silence, to be the first to break. It was Damon who spoke first, never breaking eye-contact, showing no sign of loss. He wanted to know if his brother was okay and that was it.

He couldn't lose his brother to evil, not again. 'Stefan, something's wrong.' He stated no more, searching his eyes for his answer, ignoring the lies that he would spit out.

'Nothing.' Damon laughed under his breath and approached Stefan.

'Something's wrong; that much is clear.' Stefan took a step back, Damon was too close, close enough for Stefan to lose his control.

Damon was just that bit too close and Stefan...Stefan knew what he was about to do. He broke. A tear rolled down his face. Stefan made no attempt to hide it, he held the eye contact, he wanted his brother to see him like this. He wanted pity. Stefan was vain and he wanted his brother's attention, he had become desperate. No matter how much he pretended not to care, he did care.

'Nothing in life has ever gone right for me, has it?' Stefan asked, another tear leaking from his eye. Damon approached once again, pity lining his face. Soon enough, there was no gap between them and Damon's arms were wrapped strongly around Stefan's waist, comforting him with no words.

'Not everything has gone wrong, I assure you of that.' Damon murmured, turning his face to watch Stefan's face. Beautiful. He could only describe it as beautiful, he sighed and got lost in his own thoughts- trying unsuccessfully to ignore his feelings.

They both knew that it was unavoidable to hide from each other but as long as they both tried, they could hold it back until they were both ready- if that day was even possible. Without realising, Stefan shook him from his thoughts by pulling his face in front of his. His tears were dry and he had a smile on his face.

'I want you more that I can admit.' Stefan murmured, causing Damon's attention to focus solely on slowly. This was all too quick, he hadn't realised Stefan was ready. Had Damon misread the situation this much? That's when he realised that Stefan wasn't ready, this was a distraction. He wanted to ignore his tears, his pain and just comply to his instincts.

Damon wanted the same. But, he couldn't. Not yet. 'No.' Damon whispered, saying no more. Bringing his lips closer and closer, touching them on the corner of his lips. A kiss on the cheek, that's all Stefan got. That was enough to prove that there was something, enough to prove that they both wanted this, enough for them to pause and step back into reality. A reality in which this is wrong.

A lot of things can be called wrong. You could get an answer wrong, for example, or maybe you do something that wasn't correct and that would be called wrong. There is a different type of wrong, though, and that can only be described as something that society does not accept.

When someone cannot comprehend something, they call it wrong as if it were simply a question in need of an answer. In fact, humans were more complicated than that and there are plenty of reasons that say many things are not wrong. That doesn't make them right nor does that make them wrong.

There is a middle ground to everything, the world isn't black and white. Damon and Stefan loved each other, this wasn't just a love between siblings, it was something more. This was unacceptable to society...but so was being a vampire and they were still vampires, weren't they? Aren't they already wrong enough? What was to stop them? Human laws?

Both would laugh in the face of a human so what was so wrong with breaking their rules? Nothing. For them, nothing.

Despite their close proximity, the brother's went no further. Damon simply held his hand out, letting Stefan take it in his own time. 'This is all too quick.' Damon murmured. 'Since when have I even cared.' He muttered again, his lips quirking up undetectably. Damon had a vice grip on Stefan's hand as he led him to his bedroom.

'I'm not ready to be with you, Stefan. That doesn't mean I don't care about you. You never told me what was wrong but I can only assume that I am to blame. I'm sorry.' It was true, Stefan blamed Damon. For what? Even Stefan didn't know. Stefan, though often selfless, liked to pin the blame on others yet only blame himself aloud. In his mind, he wished that it was others that made his messes, not himself.

Stefan's mind wasn't anything like what he said aloud. Stefan was hidden behind an opaque curtain and only showed what he wanted to show. But, to Damon, that curtain was transparent and Stefan was as clear as day.

Damon pretended to not care about Stefan much of the time but that meant nothing. That was a façade that Damon no longer had the energy to keep. Letting go of his hand, Damon wrapped his arms around Stefan's waist again. 'I'm sorry.' He repeated. Damon silently walked to the bed, motioning for Stefan to follow. Stefan complied without hesitation and followed him to the bed, kicking off his shoes.

They lay on the bed together, their hands linked together once again. They didn't care that this was wrong. Their internal battles, for just those moments, were won and they both knew that they wanted this and there was nothing that could stop them.

Except for tomorrow. There was always tomorrow. Time can change everything, including someone's take on a situation.

Tomorrow could change everything.

Everything.

word count: 952 (excluding A/N)

published: 05.02.17