Underneath Your Clothes

What We Started

“What time is it?” I asked. Roger glanced at his watch.

 “3:46.” He answered. The next bus would run at ten minutes until four. We wouldn’t wait there long. I held on to both his hands as we stood under the safety of the bus stop. I let my body lean into his as I kissed him again. We were all alone with the traffic. He didn’t stop kissing me, it was a preview of what was to come I was sure of it…and it was gettin’ heated. I took him in my arms as I had done earlier, letting my hands roam over his back, my fingers gettin’ lost in that long sandy hair. I could feel his breath on my face as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. It had begun to rain a little steadier and the rhythm of it made us both want each other more. I’d never kissed any man like this before; not with this much passion or force. I felt his hand on my cheek, his fingertips in my hair. The bracelet he was wearin’ was cool against my skin. I could feel the metal of it. He kissed me more intently, his tongue still teasin’ mine.  I could feel his hand movin’ down my back. He pulled my hips into his and I loved the way his fingers clenched into me. I found myself grindin’ in against him. He was turnin’ me on like he had no idea.

The screechin’ halt of the city bus scared us both half to death. I pulled away from him, both of us panting a bit. I could feel my heart racin’ as Roger looked at me nervously and grabbed my hand as the bus door flung open.

 “You got bus fare?” I asked breathlessly as I tried to tame my hair from the breeze.

 “Yeah…yeah…I got this punch card.” He answered me a little dazed. He nearly destroyed his shirt pocket tryin’ to find it. His hand was shakin’.  I felt like the drivers’ eyes were on me. We were the only ones on the bus as Roger pulled me behind him to the middle seat. He slid across the seat beside the window and pulled me in beside him. He put his arm around me, rubbin’ my shoulder. We were both strangely quiet, still in a state of disarray. I desperately wanted a cigarette, so I knew he did.

 “Roger…” I whispered. My lips touched his ear as I leaned on him. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

 "Huh?" it was more of a breath than a response.

 "Have you ever had a hit a’ cocaine?" I asked, letting my tongue tease his ear.

 “No…no, I don’t guess I have.” He said softly to me.

 “I’ve got some…been savin’ it for a special occasion…and you’re my boyfriend and all…so…ya’ know. We’ll do it once we get to your place.”

 He looked at me. “How’d you get that?”

 “I got a guy. I can get some whenever…” I told him.

 “You’re so sexy.” Was his response.

 “So are you…” I assured him. His features softened and I noticed his hand was shaking less. He kissed me again.

 The hum of the bus was more than relaxing. The driver didn't say a word as he plugged along his route. We were headed uptown and the next stop was ours. Roger kissed the top of my head. I loved the way he held me like this. I desperately wanted my arms around him. I noticed that he wasn’t standin’ up, as if we had a ways more to go.  “Roger…” I began. “…the next stop is ours.”

 “It is?” he questioned. He leaned forward and squinted. The driver was fast approaching.

 “You can’t see far away, can you?” I asked putting my arm around him now that he was leaning forward. He gave me the funniest ‘oh please’ kind of look and I laughed. I stood up with him and kissed him. “Come on, we’re about to miss it.”  We were still hand in hand as we made our way from our seat, down the aisle and toward the front to signal the driver that this was where our ride ended. I put my arm around him again as we headed down the sidewalk. “S’alright. I’ll tell ya’ If you’re going to hit anything.” I laughed at him. He did his best to pinch me but I dodged him, though still clingin’ to him.

 We only had a short walk to his flat. He was a couple streets back. His hand was warm as he lead me down the dark sidewalk. There were cars parked on both sides of the street and all we could hear was the sputtering rain. We cut through an alley as Roger had the key to a back door of the building to his flat. We approached the outside entrance and Roger fumbled in the darkness to reach for his key.  “Fuck this, why isn’t there a bloody light back here?” he said as the rain pelted us and he still tried to jam his key into the door. Once he finally got it in the door, it opened  revealing the light of the mailroom in its wake. We started through the mailroom.

 “Shouldn’t you check your mail?” I asked.

 “Yeah, I guess so.” He said. “I never have anything worth seeing.” He said taking another key and opening his mailbox. TAYLOR 415, it read. “Damn it…water bill is due.” He said seeing as it was the only piece of mail in his mailbox. “I’d better pay that sometime soon.” He said, jamming it into his back pocket. He took my hand again and we made our way  toward the front entrance of the building where the large, dark walnut staircase lead to residential flats. The stairs creaked and moaned as I held on to Roger and followed him. He lived on the 4th floor and we made our way up each flight. The paint in here was a dingy white. It could use a fresh coat. There were darkened stains and some cracks and places in the plaster where it was chippin’ away along the stairway as we made our way up. The handrail was well worn. There were a couple fluorescent lights flicking weakly but all others were intact. It wasn’t at all inviting. The windows in the stairwells were dirty, dead flies and insects in their windowsills. But, the rent was cheap and the flats themselves were in better shape than this.  He had previously told me that it was temporary here until he could find something much bigger.