Author's Ramble: This one was odd, because though the dream never mentioned anything or showed anything about my cancer, I still knew that it had to do with it. It was a shorter dream than the last, and not many details to it, which is why this one is so short. I had this dream when I took a nap earlier, and it freaked me the fuck out. Anyways, here it is.
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Shadow:
I looked over the edge of the dock, the one my best friend and I used to always jump off of into the lake. The water below was shallow enough that I could stand without having to swim but deep enough that we wouldn't bruise our asses hitting the bottom. You just had to be careful of finding a lost fishing hook, as lots of people fished around these parts.
I took off my shirt, raising it above my head before tossing it aside and looked down at my body. It wasn't like I was used to. There were no star tattooes on my chest, you could no longer easily count my ribs and my stomach was flat instead of slightly sunken in like it had been for so long. For the first time in i dont know how long, I looked... decent.
I took six steps backwards, fully intending to get a running start before jumping into the lake but upon taking my first running step forward, I realized something had grabbed ahold of my ankle and I tripped, falling flat onto my face, busting my nose against the wooden boards of the fishing dock.
Looking back at whatever was hindering me, I realized it was nothing more than a shadow. I tried to kick it off with my free foot, but it seemed the more I kicked at it, the further up it crept. I rolled over onto my back, and tried to pull myself away from it, but I was stuck. So i kept kicking. Slowly it came up over my other foot, making even that impossible.
It moved over my legs, across my abdomen until it finally settled itself around my throat. I sat up cautiously before staring down at myself and crying out in horror. What had once been a nice, almost pretty body was now disgusting. Emaciated and blue and purple bruises everywhere, I looked over the side of the dock to see my reflection in the water. Sunken eyes with deep purple bags underneath them, cracked and dried lips, a ghostly pale face and no hair.
The shadow began to put pressure on my throat, seeming to squeeze all the breathe out of me as it moved and I attempted to pull it off of me. Nothing worked, it seemed the more i fought, the tighter the shadows grip on my throat became.
Terrified, heart pounding and with rapid breathing, I did the only thing I could. I laid myself down on the wooden docks, that was now a shallow dug grave and I gave up. I closed my eyes and let the shadow squeeze the life out of me.
