The diary of a hidden lesbian

Chapter 7 - will things ever be the same again?

“Amy her pulse is to weak there is no way she will make it to the hospital” he said with a sympathetic look. “Well we have to try” and with that Paul nodded and the paramedics quickly got Sky on the the stretcher and in the back of the ambulance. The blue lights then blinded me, and the siren got slowly quitter as the ambulance sped away.

 Why does Sky have to be so fucking awkward, all I wanted her to do was accept the fact she loved me like I loved, as I knew she did. All I wanted to do was love her.

Skys p.o.v

This place is amazing. I thought to myself, walking through the field and finding a nice spot under the most beautiful multi-coloured tree you have ever seen. I do miss everyone, but I never want to go back, I only bring heartbreak anyway. I felt a tear roll down my cheek thinking about leaving my family behind, but they can’t and will never except me being different and I’m miserable living the way I lived down there.

All I wanted to do was be perfect, but instead I end up just hurting people, and up here it’s so peaceful and I can just be me and not hurt anybody. So I am not going back, anyway it’s too late now.

Natasha’s p.o.v

I soon arrived at the hospital, and I’ve been waiting in the waiting room for about 4 hours. The doctor came out an hour earlier and told us that she’s been taken for emergency surgery, as when the boys pulled her out of the metal thing she got trapped on, it broke her leg and her ribs, so they’ve gone to reline her leg and also to try and get some of the water out of her lungs. I can’t really remember what he said, just something about inserting a drain into her lungs to drain the fluid.

David has been trying to contact Sky’s family but apparently her mum and dad have taken their little brother on holiday for two weeks and no one can get in contact with them, and we have also been trying to get in contact with Lacie but her phones turned off.

About an hour later the doctor came out and told us that Sky is out of theatre and is stable, however her heart is no longer working without support, so she is on a life machine. He then warned us that they have done a scan of Sky’s brain and there was no activity, which means there is a high chance she may be brain dead (at which point I broke down for the 100th time tonight) but he assured us that its early days and that it might just be that her body’s recovering and tomorrow could be a completely different story and her brain recovers activity.

“Can I see her please” I asked wiping the tears from my eyes. “Yes but I warn you she’s surrounded by a lot of machine and wires, but it is not as bad at looks” I just nodded and followed him to Sky’s room. As I entered I instantly set my glance to sky, she was covered in scratches and bruises that I never noticed earlier. I sat down beside her and held her hand “I love you” and gently kissed her on the lips. I knew I needed to be strong now, because if by some miracle she did ever wake up she’s going to need someone and as always I’m going to be close by.

1 week later

Natasha’s p.o.v

I haven’t been near the hospital since that night.  Lacie is with sky, and is texting me with any news but she’s still not responsive. They are going to turn her off tomorrow, but no one can get hold of her mum and dad.  I don’t know why I haven’t gone back I just couldn’t face it, but I am going to go today or I will never forgive myself for not saying goodbye.

As I pulled into the hospital, I took a deep breath and headed on my way towards her room.  As I entered Sky’s room Lacie was sat there, she shot up when she saw me and flung her arms around me, “you must be Natasha, thank you for coming” I smiled and assured her that it was not a problem.

Lacie and I then talked for a while about how the last time she saw Sky they didn’t part on good terms and that she will never forgive herself. I reassured that she should forgive herself because that is what sky would have wanted. Then it hit me I am talking about her like she’s dead, when she isn’t she is still alive at the moment so stop it Natasha! I punished myself.

A short while after the doctor came in the room. “Hello, Lacie we are just going to do are final check now to see if she can breathe by herself, I know this is hard but unfortunately it’s something we have to do” Lacie nodded while tears ran freely down her cheeks. The doctor then took a step towards the switch and turned it off. We all sat their staring holding our breath in anticipation and hope. However nothing happened, she just laid there lifeless, “I’m sorry” the doctor exclaimed seeming genuinely sympathetic.

That’s when I heard it a gasp. A gasp for breath, everyone’s heads quickly shot towards Sky who was still not moving, but she was gasping for breath, she was trying, she was trying to survive.  It might not have been a lot but fuck it for the first time in a long time Sky is trying and it’s a step in the right direction right?

I quickly shot up from my seat and was by her side, I bent down and rested my head on her for head while running my hands through her hair. “common babe, you can do it breath, wake up Sky please” I placed both hands on her head and held her firmly. The doctor scuffled back other towards the switch “no wait a minute give her a chance she can do it” I pleaded, “okay two minutes then we have to turn it back on”

She was still gasping “common Sky” I begged her. Lacie was bawling her eyes out but I couldn’t do much about that at the moment. Sky’s body all of a sudden tensed up followed by a large coughing fit. The doctor then pushed me out of the way and a load of nurses ran in to assist him, she was waking up , my Sky was coming back to me, but what if she’s brain damaged? Would she ever be the same again?

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